Noise
by EnglishVoice
Summary: Begins with troubled Bella sent to Charlie after her 17th b-day. She finds new trouble in Forks. Story is a little dark as she recovers and finds her place in a supernatural world.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own twilight or its characters.**

**A/N Just an idea. I'm still deciding if I'm going to make a full project of this. I want to finish my other story before commiting to this. I needed a change of pace. Just exploring other options. When I finish my other story, I think I'll put more time into this.  
**

**Noise**

"Charlie, no. ... I think she's growing a dependency on it. ... I grounded her for a week. After two days she was sweating and twisting in her bed crying. ..." Renee was crying like a baby now. I wanted to make it better but I was distracted by a picnic laid out on the kitchen floor. _Not real. Not real._ I told myself. "Well she got past Phil and came back 12 hours later and now she's in my kitchen stoned. ... I don't know what happened. Three months ago she was my baby girl. She had a bad night and suddenly her friends changed, her grades plummeted and we've been going out of our minds here. I've been calling and trying to keep you posted but this is all just too much. I don't want to wait until she's in trouble with the law Charlie."

I was making her upset. I was hurting her. I was a horrible person. I wanted to hold her and let her cry on my shoulder. I wanted to suddenly feel better and take care of her. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for everything. But my face was numb and I couldn't find my voice. _I am an asshole. _I felt myself starting to slide off the stool. Why is this happening to me? I'm a good kid. Or I was. I noticed the floor coming up to slap me in the face suddenly. It stung but I mostly noticed Renee freaking out over me. _Please don't make this another trip to the hospital_.

I recall being put in the bathtub and Renee washing me. My high melted away and I started wanting more. I didn't really have the heart for it anymore. I let my skin crawl while Renee and Phil were abuzz around me.

"What's happening?" I found my words.

Renee stopped midstride and sat next to me. "You're going home to Charlie baby. He'll know what to do. You're so much like him. I'm sorry I waited so long to send you. It was selfish of me."

"No Mom. I'm selfish. I'm the one doing this to us." I felt a chill spread over me. I was going to have to go find Dinya soon. I couldn't even remember how this started now. For some bizarre reason, I'd chosen this self-destructive route when I seemed to be hurting those I loved more than myself. There was more talking, but I was too self absorbed to hear it. I wasn't interested in stuff these days. I hadn't been in awhile. Somewhere along the line it had all lost meaning. I used to be content with my lot. Then the visits to my room started. I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to hear or feel him. Before I left he talked to me. He knew exactly what I was afraid of. Hurting Renee. If she knew about him, it would devastate her. I wouldn't hurt her like that. I pulled out some pills taped in a baggie under my bedside table. That got him out of my head.

At some point, I was in an airport and I was in a plane. And in a confusing mess of things, I was in an airport and I was in a plane again. The de ja vu with the emptiness put on replay. Circling on a loop for mind for some time. I was sweating in Charlie's cruiser. I probably should be sitting in the back of it like other criminals. I was a thief, but hadn't stolen much. Guys tended to hand out a lot of free stuff. They thought they'd have better chances of getting laid if I was high. But him coming to my room, I didn't want anyone touching me. Still, I appreciated the freebies.

Forks. Somehow I doubted I was going to find anyone with a stash here.

"Bella, you're shaking." There was silence. As though that had been the nail in the coffin. "We're going to make a trip down by the hospital. I want you checked out."

"No- Dad- I'm fine. I just need some sleep." That sounded nice. No one would come into this bedroom. I really could sleep without fear here. "I don't want to be checked out. I want to be left alone."

"Bells, it will be fine. I just want to know how bad is it." Oh nonononono...

"Dad it's not that bad. No meth, no track marks. It's mostly just prescriptions. Can I just go to my room? Please?"

"I can't do that just yet Bella. We'll keep it short." I shut down and stared out at the cold wet green scenery. It was October. It was going to get colder. Cold could be refreshing right?

We waited in an exam room. We'd been elsewhere in the hospital. But this was the first that I really noticed of it because of the man walking through the door.

"Hey Dr. Cullen, thanks for seeing Bella here for me on such short notice."

"I'm happy to help Chief Swan." He looked stunning. He had a disarming smile, pale skin, honey eyes, blond hair and I couldn't ignore him. I found myself staring at his eyes. "Bella, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen." He held out his hand to me and smothered the urge to flinch. People shake hands. It doesn't mean anything. I shook his cold hand and stared at it. I felt like I was out of my body. Was it the drugs still in my system?

"Can you tell me what you've been taking?" I looked at Charlie and then at the floor. He wasn't going to like this. Charlie jumped up.

"Listen, you two talk. I'll wait outside." I felt alarm sweep through me. He was leaving me alone in a room with this strange man with the cold hands? What did I do to deserve this? I hurt everyone. I did deserve this. I slumped over. The door shut gently.

"So, can you Bella?" I looked at him confused. "What have you been taking?"He clarified.

"I like Ketamine and Percocet. I like E laced with heroin. I usually smoke weed with other people. I've taken other things..." I mumbled trailing off.

"May I examine you?" He asked. _I'd prefer you didn't._ I sighed and nodded consent. I ignored his hands and decided I wouldn't feel this.

"You haven't been taking drugs for long. And this is a drastic escalation." He noted. "What started this?" He asked gently. I almost wanted to make this easier for him and just answer his direct question. His eyes seemed to see into.

But it wasn't any of his business. That was my shame. "Nothing." He gave me a wry smile. "Nothing?" He repeated. Something passed between our eyes. I could trust him. If I wanted to share this with him, I could trust him. Assuming that I wanted to share with anyone. Which I didn't. I didn't want to share anything. I wanted to not feel. He had lots of drugs to make me stop feeling. I'd appreciate that kind of help. I chewed on my lip and broke eye contact with him.

More was said. But I stopped noticing. That hit too close to home for my comfort. I'd had enough.

Charlie came back in at some point. They talked. His parting words were that I was in for a rough few days.

Charlie was uncomfortable on the drive home. I could sense he felt he should say something. He didn't want to say something. He just believed that he should.

"You could have called Bella me." He said. "I want you to know that I'm here for you." The rest of the drive was silent. We took my luggage up to my bedroom. This house really hadn't changed. I felt the nausea building up again. As I started pulling stuff out, I thought I could push it down. Soon I was running for the toilet throwing up. Charlie was sympathetic and thankfully quiet. A screw twisted in stomach. I stopped noticing time passing by. I heard voices in the house occassionally.

Finally, I was up and taking a shower. It felt good. Hot water running over my body. Washing away everything. I didn't feel any inclination to talk about things. Forks could be nice. I could be safe here with Charlie.

Charlie took me around to see the Clearwater's. Harry's daughter was on the phone freaking out. I distantly remembered her from summer's past. His wife Sue was nice, but had this distressing way of seeming to see through me. As if she knew exactly what was happening with me. I avoided her. Seth was sweet, he took me for a walk. It was chilly and wet outside. I managed to trip on the gravel road and got mud on my knees. The beach was had one or two people crossing our path occassionally. I was always clumsy. But it had been awhile since I had notice myself trip. We didn't say much. But it was it was a comfortable silence. Three boys a little younger than me greeted him.

"Seth, who's this?"One boy asked.

"Chief Swan's daughter, Bella's visiting our house."Explained Seth.

"Bella? Wow, you've grown!" Another boy laughed, I felt like I knew him. But I couldn't remember how.

"I should remember you. I'm thinking Billy, but I'm sure that's not your name."

A huge grin spread across his face. "That's my Dad."

"Billy Black." I said with a sheepish smile. "I used to play with his daughter's."

"Yeah, I'm their younger brother. We used to make mud pies together." His friend coughed.

"Buy some halls." The boy said. "I'm Jacob Black. The one with the cough is Quil Ateara and this is Embry Call." He gestered towards them as he named his friends.

Before they could speak I had to know. "I start school on Monday, will I see you guys there?"

"No, we go to school on the Rez." Jacob told me.

I couldn't hide my disappointment. "That's a shame. It would have been nice to know a few faces."

"Stop monopolyzing the girl's attention. We-"

"Bella!" Charlie's voice belted out calling me from the road. He waved me over. I waved back.

"Looks like I have to go. It was nice meeting you guys. Good to see you again Jacob. Thanks for the walk Seth."

They grinned widely as I left.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke up around midnight to the sound of wolves howling. Cold shakes racked my body, my pj's were damp with sweat. My head was pounding. OxyContin would have been nice right about now. My muscles ached. Wind rattled the trees and the house creaked. Was that the floor boards outside my room? I tensed. My breath came in shallow gasps even as I tried to will myself to keep quiet so I could listen. It wasn't working. My mind was racing in all different directions. Panic growing. Everything hurt. The night continued. My focus was drifting from my body, to the sound of nature and then to the sound of creaking floor boards.

I survived the night and the following days. Over those days I thought back on how this all started. How did I get so lost? I had sought to escape Phil's attention. Four months ago, my favourite step-father had consoled me over a hard day at school. I had had a good relationship with him. But as he rubbed my back, his hand had strayed to my butt in the kitchen. I had stiffened under his touch and he had returned his hand to my back so quickly that it seemed

A week later, he had kissed me and caressed my neck as he stroked my hair from my shoulder. I had caught his eye. A grin had faintly touched his lips. I had shuddered and avoided him. I couldn't bring myself to tell Renee as it would hurt her. I didn't want to hurt Renee. Days later he had grabbed my butt. I had elbowed him and he had twisted my arm behind me. It was a silent exchange. I had attempted to stare him down. But it felt like someone had walked over my grave and I couldn't hide the shiver that passed over me. He crept into my room 3 months ago. He had kissed my neck and stroked my outline as he whispered in my ear. Any actions against him would result in Renee getting hurt. He had mumbled something about getting an unsoiled woman.

It was then that I knew that I needed to do something that I had to soil this woman. The following day I had gone to a summer party knowing that there would be drinking at it. I had attempted to pick up a random cute boy and make out and possibly have sex with him. I hadn't made it past kissing him. It hurt too much. This should be something I shared with someone I loved. That's why Phil hurt me so much. I went home and cried and sobbed and mourned. Renee had soothed me and not understood at all. The following day, another option appeared to me. Drugs. Could that soil Phil's image of me? At the very least, I didn't have to be on alert for him approaching my room if I was stoned. I quickly found a preference for pain killers and tranquilizers.

To a degree, it worked. Phil didn't like me high. He suspected I was involved with a boy. I found touched me less and he threatened me and called me names. When Renee wasn't around he screamed in my face. I was starting to reconsider keeping his secret. Out of nowhere Renee had grounded me. After two horrible days without drugs, I didn't have any stash left before being grounded, I had had a show down with Phil at the front door. I had planned for a moment to go to Renee or a teacher or someone. I had planned to tell someone. Only, I didn't want to be that girl that didn't like her step-father that made outrageous claims about him. That was one of Phil's threats. I was the drug addict. Who would people believe? Not the teenage girl doing drugs. I scored some Percocet and weed and wandered Phoenix completely stoned for a few hours before finding my way home. And now, here I was. I was supposed to be keeping my grades up and get into a good college.

And maybe it wasn't too late. I had definitely lost the summer to drugs. But we were just a month into the school year. I could still fix this. With time and space from Phil, I could think clearly. There would be no need for drugs here. I had been clean for a week. The boys I had met from La Push had been a good distraction. Although, they knew about the drugs and found it amusing to make small digs at me about it. I guess Charlie had been honest with his friends and their sons knew. I chose not to worry about it. I chose to focus on making up for lost time. Jacob seemed to be particularly easy to hang out with. He was easy on the eyes with a lanky build and a baby face. It would be nice to watch him grow into the man he would be. He was sweet and kind and fun to be around. I didn't worry about things with him. But he wasn't going to be at my school. I needed to focus on getting a new life after leaving my old life in Phoenix.

Monday came and I felt anxiety flood me. I felt like I floated through the day. I went to the school office and got a slip that needed to be signed by all of my teachers. It seemed the entire town had somehow found out about my drug problems and I was mortified. The school secretary looked at me sympathetically. Kid's seemed to be torn between my novelty and expecting me to be rebellious. But who are we kidding? I'm Bella Swan. I'm not a rebel and I'm really not unique.

Kid's talked to me and I tried to show interest but felt distant. They seemed friendly enough. Then I saw him. For the first time I saw Edward Cullen in the cafeteria. I was filled in on details about him and his siblings by a blonde called Jessica. She seemed bitter. Edward looked up and stared at me. As if he were expecting something from me. I wasn't sure how to react so I bowed my head over my food and imagined I could shrink into the background. Of course, next class I had was English literature and he sat behind me. Chills ran through me. It was a long and awkward class.

He escaped the classroom hastily. I wasn't sure why, but he clearly hated me. I had to get out of there. I went to the school office to make a phone call. The secretary dialled the number and handed me the phone.

"Cha-Dad, you said to call you if I needed anything. I-I need to go to home. Can you come and get me please?" I hated to admit that I had reached my limit. But adrenalin was pumping through me. My body had adapted to sleeping aids, pain killers and tranquilizers for difficult emotions. Now I was doing it on my own and the day had worn down on me.

"Bells I'll be right there. I'll meet you out front." Charlie had spoken reassuringly. I handed the phone to the secretary and she spoke to Charlie. She nodded to me indicating that I could go. I tripped and stumbled my way out front. In the parking lot, Edward Cullen was gripping his steering wheel glaring at me. I turned to run back into the building when it seemed as though his brothers appeared out of nowhere. I didn't remember them being by the car. But there they were. I wished Charlie was there right now. They seemed to be warning Edward of something. Was this about my drug history? Did he have an issue with drug addicts.

They drove away and I breathed a sigh of relief. Charlie pulled up in his cruiser and I was never so grateful to ride in his cruiser. Charlie asked what happened. I couldn't come up with a good lie and knew I couldn't pull one off anyway. So I used honesty. Edward had scared the crap out of me. I knew it made me a weak person. I hated to admit to it.

I was grateful the next day when Edward Cullen wasn't at school. I gave my undivided attention to school and homework. I went to school, paid attention, I did my homework, made dinner and went to bed. That pattern continued for the remainder of the week. Interactions with people were noisy, too fast and difficult. I avoided them.

The following day, Edward was there. Again he sent chills down my spine. He spoke to me in class. I found myself caught in his eyes. His gaze held me in a trance like position. I'm sure at another time in my life, I would have held my ground. But I felt light headed in his presence. I liked it. I should have realized it right away. But I didn't. Our relationship started shortly after that. I didn't even try to hide the fact that he had caught me in his net. There was something strange about him beyond his hypnotic gaze. His skin was cold, sometimes he seemed to be trying to say goodbye. And I wasn't allowed to move when he kissed me. I knew there was something wrong. But I didn't want to think about it.

Charlie was bewildered by this turn of events. Edward's family were unhappy and I had only his sister Alice as an ally. I both loved and feared him. I felt protected from the world, but not necessarily safe in his presence. That should have been my clue. I suppose I was eager to find someone to protect me. There was nothing resembling that in my old life. And Edward seemed to quickly insert himself into my new life. He declared his undying love and it was true. I felt love falling off him in waves. Weeks passed and he seemed to fit into my life nicely. We did have one disturbance when he came into my room one night. I made it clear that I did not like surprised visits to my room. I wasn't sure how he had managed to make it up to my room without disturbing me or Charlie. He had just appeared sitting in the rocking chair. It was the one time I was alone with Edward. He kept me in the presence of his family, my father or kid's from school.

I came home from school and did my home work at the kitchen table with Edward in December. There was a knock at the door. Edward was tense. I walked down the hall and I answered the front door.

"Oh hi Billy! Jacob! What brings you here?" I greeted Billy and Jacob with a bright smile. Since I had started dating Edward, he seemed to take up all of my time. I hadn't seen Billy or Jacob since I started school.

"Charlie invited us over for the game tonight. He said something about your nacho dip?"He was friendly to me, but I sensed hostility towards Edward. Edward was still sitting at the kitchen table. Jacob was embarrassed by Billy's poorly veiled dislike towards Edward. Charlie had mentioned how the Quileute's didn't like the Cullen's.

Jacob had grown since I had last seen him. His muscles were hulking out and he was losing his baby face. Jacob caught my eye and grinned at me. He had caught me checking him out. A blush came over my face and I quickly redirected my attention to the confrontation building in front of me. Maybe I could defuse the situation.

"Billy, I'm happy to make dip. What's that in your lap?"

Billy dragged his eyes from Edward and wheeled himself forward. "The nacho's." He said with a small smile that was easy but clearly directed towards me and excluded Edward. I knew that wasn't defusing the situation. I took the nacho's and headed into the kitchen. Billy asked Edward outside to talk. Jacob stepped forward to chat with me asking about school. The confrontation seemed bizarre but I figured Edward would tell me later. Inside I prepared a dip for chips for the game. Charlie would be home in the next half hour. I should have had dinner on already but I hadn't been expecting visitors. It might be best if we ordered pizza tonight.

I chatted with Jacob in the kitchen. He told me about what was happening at his school. It seemed much more interesting than anything happening at Forks High. But my focus of attention had been on Edward, so maybe I just didn't notice the absurdities of day to day life in my high school. Or Jake was simply paying more attention to day to day life and I was avoiding the noise of it all. Jacob scooped up some of the dip I was making in his hand and shoved it in his mouth. Well that ruined the display. He had a mischievous grin planted on his face. I had been distracted by the conversation between my boyfriend and Jake's father outside. But this brought me to the present.

"Jake!!! What are you guys going to dip your chips in during the game?" I shot forward to smack his arm, slipped and grabbed his butt instead before falling down.

"Bella you just grabbed my ass!" Jake exclaimed before howling in a fit of laughter.

My face went red with embarrassment as Jacob seemed pleased with himself. He fell to the floor beside me, laughing looking at my face. I would have been humiliated and angry but it was Jacob. I didn't get the sense that he was laughing at me. He was laughing with me if I would join in with him. I found myself laughing. I hadn't laughed in a long time.

"You know Bella, you didn't have to slip to grope me. You don't have to risk life and limb. You only had to ask and you can grope anything you want." He laughed. I shot up on my knee's and tried to bowl him over with all of my weight. He was more muscular than I had expected and easily pulled me to the ground and began tickling me.

"Attack me Bella?" He laughed while I gasped for breath between my laughter. "Attack me when I have done nothing wrong? I'll give you a real reason to attack me. I'm going to tickle you until you pee yourself!" He threatened. The front door flung open. Edward marched over, gave Jacob a death stare before he spoke.

"Bella, collect your coat. We're going to eat at my place. I'm sure Billy can pass on that message." I was caught in surprise for a moment. Edward pulled me to my feet by my arm and I winced under his hand. That hurt. Edward noticed and gave an apologetic grimace to me. I was caught in his stunning gaze. He loved me. He was angry with Billy. He didn't mean to hurt me. Jacob looked shocked by the turn of events as I passed him. I suppose Edward was a bit rough. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled to Jake.

"I'll see you next time you come around Jake." As I came down the hallway Billy was gripping the armrests of his wheel chair. Edward was holding out my coat for me.

"Bella, can I just see your arm for a moment?" Billy asked.

"She's fine." Edward snapped.

"I didn't ask you Edward. I asked Bella. Please?"

I looked between Billy and Edward. Edward seemed to challenge me in a way that reminded me of Phil. I stifled a shiver. Billy raised an eyebrow. He hadn't missed my shiver. I was going to have to work harder on my lying. Jake had come over and was watching this exchange wide eyed. As if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"I'm sorry Billy. I should be going." I had a feeling that I'd be sorry if he saw my arm. Billy was friends with Charlie. If Charlie and Billy didn't like what they saw, Charlie could drive a wedge between me and Edward. Things had gotten better in Forks with Edward around. Staying clean was easier. Edward may not be entirely normal. But he helped fill that void. The drugs had been like a cat that had scratched at my chest viciously, day after day after day until it had carved out a nasty scar into my chest. Edward made me feel like there wasn't any trace of that life. He was chaste and honest and charming. Chaste was good. Chaste was safe.

"Bella, I'm going to talk to Charlie about what I saw tonight. We can take care of this. I know all about the Cullen's." He said with emphasis watching my face. Somehow, I knew the reference was to something bigger than a bruise on my arm. But I wasn't sure what. I tried to hold eye contact with him but wasn't able to.

"She doesn't even _know_ Cullen. I knew it." The disgust in Billy's voice was evident. I felt protective of Edward under Billy's scrutiny. I didn't appreciate the way Jacob watched as if he were watching an after school special come to life. Who the hell did they think they were questioning my boyfriend like this?

"I know what I need to know. He loves me." Billy looked at me almost sympathetically and looked back to Edward.

"This is a mockery of our treaty. We will not allow it." Billy said sternly.

I exchanged glances with Jacob and he was confused, but not as confused as I was. He had heard of a treaty existing before.

I caught the look on Edward's face. It seemed frightening, inhuman and malicious. I froze as he gently eased me out the door and to his Volvo. My feet were dragging as my heart raced recalling the expression I had just seen on his face. It was scary. He held my door open under the watchful eye of Billy. Jake looked disgusted at Edward. I had no idea Edward could be so frightening. The feeling didn't last.

In the car, Edward began talking quickly about Quileutes poking their noses in where they didn't belong and how they didn't understand. I went to the washroom at his house to examine my arm. Not too bad. There was nothing broken or sprained. There was just dark bruising. I was bruised up anyway due to my clumsiness. What's a few more bruises?

I came out to eat when the phone rang. I could hear my father yelling into the phone. Edward passed the phone to me.

"Bella, Edward will be returning you home right now. I want to see your arm right now!" Charlie was furious. I could hear it in his voice. I mumbled that I was coming. I barely heard the discussions around me. I basked in Edward's amazing presence on the way home. He was talking, but I wasn't listening at this point. I was too worried about Charlie's reaction.

Edward drove me home quietly and gave me a kiss in his car out front of my house. Billy watched stiffly from the front door calling to Charlie. My heart raced at the touch of his lips. Once again I was caught in his gaze. I fell out of the Volvo holding onto the door for support. I made my way up the steps and into the house. Charlie was calmer than he had been on the phone. He was Chief Swan right now. Not the man I knew as my father. He seemed to be taking a step back and looking at the situation. He held me against him and watched Edward pull away before closing the door.

He took me to the kitchen and asked me to remove my sweater.

"Char-Dad, you know I'm a klutz. You're not going to start blaming all of my constant bruising on Edward?" I saw Charlie, Billy and Jacob looking at each other.

"Is it really that bad that you don't want to show us Bella?" Asked Charlie. I seemed to recall a few moments when Edward made mistakes during arguments with Rosalie or disapproved of someone at school and pulled me away. Plus I did have bruises of my usual variety. It really wasn't fair to place all the blame for my bruises on Edward.

"I just don't want you to over react Dad. It's not like he's ever hit me or raised his voice to me." Billy motioned for Jacob to leave. "But he has left marks on you?" Asked Charlie. I watched Jake leaving. I wanted to ask for Jacob to stay. Now Jacob's imagination would have the opportunity to run wild and he'd imagine it was worse than it really was. This wasn't fair. They were making Edward out to be the bad guy. I watched Jacob's back sadly.

"Bella, could you remove your sweater please? I believe you have t-shirt under there."

I was wearing two tank tops underneath my hooded sweater. I sighed and pulled off the sweater. I grimaced realizing that any of the bruises Edward had made, were shaped like fingers and hands. It wasn't many, but they were dark and clearly made out against my white skin. Some of the bruises were older and had faded to yellowish green. This was entirely out of context. I heard Charlie and Billy exhale. No, they weren't happy with what they saw. I went to pull my sweater back on. Charlie pulled my sweater from me. "I need my camera first Bella. I'll be right back."

"It's really not that bad. You don't need pictures."

"You're under eighteen and the courts will need pictures."

Tears welled up. "Dad, no. Don't do this. Edward makes me happy."

"I'm sorry Bells, this is for your own good." I waited while Charlie called in someone from work. They asked questions. Took pictures. Asked more questions. Jacob had wandered back in. I couldn't read his face. I needed to get away from Charlie and Billy and the cop in my house. I don't know why, but Jacob seemed like the best person to approach. I'd had enough.

"Charlie I'm done helping you build a case against Edward." I spat and got up and it seemed natural to throw myself into Jacob's arms. His presence was soothing. I cried and he stroked my hair leading me out to my living room. They were going to take Edward from me. He had become my world and they were taking him away. Jake sat on the couch with me. As if things couldn't get any weirder, three men from the rez showed up. They were shirtless and muscular, eyeing me as they came into the house. They talked in the kitchen.

Charlie came to talk to me with one of the men.

"Bella, this is Sam. He's been kind enough to volunteer to take you to and from school. If he can't, then Paul or Jared will come by." The other two men stood further away. They looked serious. "Jacob, could you leave for a moment please? I just want to talk to Bella." Jacob patted me on the shoulder leaving the room. Sam stood near the doorway quietly observing us. I need to make it clear to you that you are not to take rides with Edward and that you need to avoid him. Listen honey, this is not healthy. Your mother and I have never left marks on you. I love you and you deserve better. I've seen relationships like this before. This will only get worse and you will end up with worse injuries." I remembered my broken hand in October. I'd just gotten that cast off.

He continued talking but I wasn't listening anymore. I was putting pieces together. Charlie believed that Edward was going to beat me to death. I had noticed a few things. Billy and the three Quileute were worried about something else. Edward's eyes changed colours from black to honey and progressively got darker. He went camping with his family in November. His skin was cold and hard. I had seen him in his home gently lift the refrigerator to reach my pen. He spoke as though he were from another time. There was a treaty. There was more to this than Edward leaving a few bruises. I hadn't wanted to see this all in perspective. I wanted Edward back.

I interrupted Charlie. "Can I see Jacob again?" My voice betrayed me, threatening to break back into tears.

Charlie looked at me intently with love and concern. "I'll have to ask Jake." He got up and left the room.

I looked at Sam. When Charlie left ear shot I spoke. "You guys know something that I don't. You don't want me contacting my boyfriend. If you want my co-operation, you need to tell me what's going on."

"You honestly don't know do you?" He asked as though I were a child.

"Then tell me. You seem to think that I should be afraid. Afraid of what exactly?"

"I'll be here to pick you up in the morning." He folded his arms and walked away as Jake came back in.

Jake held me and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. I knew showing Billy my arm was going to cause problems.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**A/N Correction. As pointed out by Awe.0 Emily wasn't supposed to be there. I guess I'd gotten complacent about Sam and Emily being together. :) I should try reading this stuff back and editing before posting but I'm tardy. **

_I was in the woods behind my house. I was laughing and joking with Jacob. The canopy of the trees held out the sun, but sprinkles of sunlight moved along the forest floor as the trees swayed in the breeze. Jacob became serious. The light darkened to night. I couldn't see Jacob anymore. _

_Wolves howled into the night. I sensed something coming for me. I backed away. I looked behind me to be sure that I was backing towards my house. Yes, I was backing up towards my house._

_I looked forward again. Moonlight broke through a piece of canopy and Jacob stepped into the dim white light. He looked worried. I reached my hand toward him to take his hand and reassure him. Just then Edward's furious face appeared behind Jake. Edward plunged his mouth to Jake's neck and ripped his throat out. Terror struck me and I was torn between saving Jake and running for my life. _

_Edward looked up into my eyes and I felt as though he had me in a hold with only his eyes. Edward dropped Jake's body to the floor and stepped towards me."I'd never hurt you Bella." His silky voice reached me. My terror subsided, but I mourned Jake. "But you have hurt me." I replied looking down at Jake. Edward's face twisted into Phil's and back to Edward's. A wolf came up behind me and snarled at Edward. _

I bolted upright in bed breathing heavily. I heard screaming when I realized it was my own voice. Charlie threw open my door and hushed me. He looked uncomfortable but tried his best to comfort me.

"It's okay Dad. It's just a bad dream. I'm okay."He looked at me thoughtfully. Then he nodded and gave me a small smile.

"It will get better Bells." Charlie left the room and I heard him hurt himself heading back to bed.

I lay back in bed and looked at my clock. Four in the morning. I knew I wasn't going to sleep after that. But there was nothing else for me to do than wait for the rest of the night to pass. I lay thinking. In the back of my mind, I knew that my relationship with Edward was probably bordering on abusive. I couldn't see how it as entirely abusive. I received so much out my relationship with him. He was eloquent and sweet and caring and beautiful and it seemed incredible that he would want me. I still had a hard time believing that. Sometimes he held me too hard. But he didn't intentionally hurt me. I needed Edward. Sometimes he scared. But he was the best thing in my life now. I suppose maybe I wasn't seeing things clearly. Maybe I was too close to the situation to see what was happening here. The truth was, I didn't want to see what they saw. I just wanted to be with Edward.

I watched the light grow outside. There wasn't a sunrise to watch under the clouds shadowing Forks. I listened to Charlie getting ready for work. He tapped on my bedroom door. I pretended to sleep. I heard my door open. He paused for a moment before closing the door and clomping down the stairs. I listened for the front door to slam shut and Charlie's cruiser to pull out of the driveway. I got up and picked clothes out of my closet. I took my bag of toiletries to the bathroom with the clothes I picked out and went to the bathroom. My eyes were still puffy from the night before so I tried to cover it up with a little make-up. Hopefully it wouldn't be too obvious to everyone at school.

I ate a piece of toast and packed my books into my backpack. I felt a little shaky. Just as I was wondering if Sam remembered to come and get me this morning there was a knock at the front door. I walked up to the door warily. Charlie and Billy seemed to trust him. I wasn't sure why I felt on edge about him.

I opened the front door to see that yes, Sam had remembered. I looked him over. He was wearing a shirt this time but clearly not dressed for December. His arms were folded across his chest and stood over me. He was quite a bit bigger than Edward.

"Are you ready?" He said dropping his arms to his sides.

I flinched and stepped back. I sensed that Edward wasn't going to like this arrangement. "Just let me get my coat and backpack. I'll come out to your truck." I avoided eye contact but saw him head out to the street. I repeated to myself in my head. Relax. Nothing bad was going to happen. I was sensing that there was more going on here that I didn't know and seemed to be more relevant. I wished someone would tell me what was going on. What was happening?

I locked the front door before slipping on the ice out front of the house landing on my butt. Sam was at my side in almost an instant.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I groaned. "I'm used to it. I'm a klutz. You should keep your distance to make sure I don't take you down with me." I muttered as he helped me back to my feet. I was going to have a big bruise on my butt.

"Charlie mentioned that a few times. He said it's hard to tell the difference between your usual accidents and what Edward's done to you." I glared at Sam and pulled myself away from him and stomped to the truck.

"Edward doesn't do anything to-" I slid out screaming and slammed into the truck. Sam caught me before I hit the ground. His hands were hot and I felt heat coming off of him. He didn't look like he had a fever. I held my head where it hit the truck.

"Are you really this bad or are you just trying to prove a point?" Sam demanded and I quickly forgot about his temperature.

My face went bright red with rage and embarrassment. Tears welled in my eyes as they always did when I get angry and I struggled to take in deep breaths while I fought to push the tears back. I couldn't answer yet, but stared back at him. My lips moving as I tried to find words that wouldn't start a fresh round of tears. He waited.

"We don't get ice in Phoenix." I finally found words. Sam stared at me for a moment. Then laughed and opened his truck door and helping me in. I tried to repress my tears and calm myself. I didn't want to arrive at school teary eyed.

"I guess not."

I waited for him to get in and kept my eyes on the road ahead.

"This ride is a bit much." I commented. "Why am I being babysitted? I understand Charlie being the overprotective father that he is. But why are you really here? Angela would be happy to give me rides to and from school. You're not telling me something. Is it anything to do with some of strange stuff with the Cullen's?" Sam was quiet and watched the road ahead. I didn't look at him. He was thinking.

"What have you noticed about his family?"

"They're cold and hard when I touch them. They talk differently. I don't see them eat. They watch me when I eat and I lose my appetite."

He was quiet again for a moment. "Don't you find this all creepy? Why are you dating him?"

"The eating thing can be creepy, that's why I don't eat much around them. I'm dating him because for once I feel safe with him. He watches over me. That's twice now. You answer my questions with questions."

"But you're not making any sense to me. You weren't feeling safe before Cullen? Is that what the drugs were for?" He asked.

"Maybe. I had my own monsters to deal with. Drugs worked." I replied.

"Monsters? What kind of monsters?"

"The kind that go bump in the night." I muttered to myself. He ran his hands through his hair.

"That makes a little bit more sense. You had to be used to some kind of monster to feel safe with Cullen."

"Would you drop that already and give me some answers? You're the one that's not making sense. Why are you babysitting me?" I demanded.

"Because you have bruises shaped like hands and fingers and you broke your wrist shortly after you started dating Cullen and because I think this has gotten out of hand." I looked at him feeling frustrated. He carefully watched the road again as he pulled into the parking lot. I jumped out of the truck to take off but Sam was at my side holding my elbow with his hot hands.

"I think I've seen you hurt yourself enough times in only one morning on this ice. I'll get you into the building and then you're on your own." He commented. I got looks from other kid's. He was calling attention to me by doing this. That's all I needed.

"Let go of me." I hissed. He swiftly brought me to the door and promptly left. I saw Edward watching from by his car. His lips were curled and he was watching Sam's truck. I saw them make eye contact before Sam left. If looks could kill, they would both be dead. I shared a look at Edward before he turned back to his car.

I was still disappointed to find that Edward wasn't there at lunch. I approached the Cullen table.

Alice looked up apologetically. "I'm sorry Bella, Carlisle has laid down the law. I'm not to talk to you indefinitely. The moment things blow over with Edward, I'll be at your side Bella." And with that, she turned her back on me and talked to Rosalie. I looked around their faces. A sense of calm swept over me and I joined Angela and Jessica. They seemed happy to have me. They had lots of questions about who brought me to school this morning. I explained Charlie wasn't happy with some things and was keeping an eye on me. Angela graciously changed the topic. The day passed slowly. I both anticipated and dreaded my ride home with Sam.

He was waiting by the door, his truck waiting for us in the parking lot.

"You could have waited in your truck." I groaned.

"It's nice to see you too Bella. How was your day Sam? I had a wonderful day thank you Bella." He teased. "It hurts watching you slide around and the ice hasn't all melted away yet." Holding my elbow, he was incredulous of my clumsiness on the ice heading to his truck. I noted those overheated hands yet again.

"How many times have you fallen on the ice today walking between buildings at school?" He asked inside the cab.

"That's none of your business." I grumbled. "Do you have any answers for me yet? You know, if I want to see Edward, I'll go to him. You can't watch me around the clock." He eyed me.

"Bella, you're not going off to see Cullen. We'll be sure of that."

"If I call Jacob when I get in and he's okay with a visit, can you give me a ride to La Push?" Sam was quiet.

"Jacob had to go out of town to visit family. He should be back after Christmas. If you want, you could come over to my place and I can introduce to my fiancée, Leah." I could see his mind working.

"You're up to something." I said coldly.

"Do you want to meet Leah or not?" He redirected. Yet another pregnant pause as we stared at each other. This was a constant battle of wills in silence. And I was getting a little tired of him winning. But I should be used to this by now. He had a few years on me, seemed to have information that I lacked and was yet another person bigger than me. I wanted to turn into something big and aggressive and strong and knock him on his ass. The incredible hulk came to mind.

"Bella? I'm still waiting for an answer here."

I sighed in defeat. "I guess I'll see Leah. It's better than house arrest." I felt like I was being punished unjustly.

"I'll let Charlie know where you are from my place."

We sat in silence for the drive to Sam's place. I recognized Leah's name but wasn't sure why. It seemed familiar like Jake's name had been familiar.

We arrived to the smell of food burning. A smile came to Sam's lips.

"Leah's getting better, but her cooking is still a hit and miss. Be nice about it." Sam let me know.

I hopped out of the truck and tried to keep up with Sam's wide gait as he headed to the house. My feet wiped out underneath me on ice in front of the porch. Warm hands caught me around the waist and brought me up before gently settling me on my feet again.

I looked to see who it was. It looked like one of the Quileute men with Sam last night. Paul or Jared. Just like Sam they appeared to be in their mid twenties.

"Would everyone stop rescuing me?" I grumbled. I didn't mean to be so ungrateful, but between the police involvement and babysitting and ice, I had had enough of everyone acting like I was made of glass.

"You're welcome." The man grinned leading me into the house.

"Thank you." I said out of guilt.

It was a sweet house set in the woods. Leah was dumping muffins into the garbage while Sam was using a kitchen towel to air out the fire alarm. He was too late it would appear because the alarm blared at us. I held the door open sweeping the air with my hand while Jared and Paul opened the windows. I still wasn't clear which was who. The alarm stopped and Leah dropped down in dining chair slumping her head over her arms at the table.

"Forget about it Lee-lee. We can get some ready-made at the store." Sam said soothingly as he rubbed her shoulders.

"What are you doing out of school early?" He asked her.

"We were let out early. I wanted to surprise you with freshly baked muffins." Her voice muffled out of her arms. She lifted her head and looked at him. "I was distracted by howling and went outside." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well don't look at me." He chuckled and reflexively she seemed to look at one of the men. What an odd reaction?

It was then that she noticed me. She looked like a golden goddess with a glorious athletic body and beautiful smile. "Who's this?"

"Leah, this is Bella Swan. She's Chief Swan's daughter."

She gave a maternal and understanding look that grated on me. "I remember, you've been having problems with Edward Cullen. I'm not surprised."

"I'm not having any problems with Edward. People poking their noses in my business are having a problem with Edward." The room was quiet as the four of them looked at me quietly.

I felt like I just said something stupid the way they looked at me. I tried to change the route that this was headed.

"Leah, can I help you make another batch of muffins? I don't know if it would be as good as yours if you hadn't been distracted, but I'm sure we can make them without burning them between the two of us." She smiled, took to her feet and motioned for me to join her. "Of course, Bella. I'd like that."

The men had smiles on their faces.

"If you can protect the muffins from destruction, you'll make some fans around here." Sam grinned.

Leah glared at him and he ducked his head in embarrassment. Leah pulled out ingredients to make another go at muffins while Sam picked the phone up off the wall and dialled a number. I overheard Sam talking and garnered that he was talking to Charlie.

The evening passed surprisingly easily. Leah took notes and kept thanking me. Just as soon as the guys had put away the muffins in seconds without Leah or me having any ourselves, it was time for dinner. She was happy when I offered to help her make dinner. She had planned on hot dogs but was enthusiastic about making a stir fry with me. After observing how the three large men had finished off the muffins so quickly I made a large portion.

"If it's too much Leah, you can have the left over's for lunch tomorrow." I then noticed that the three men hadn't been at work when I got out of school. They seemed to trade off going outside frequently. I decided not to pry but couldn't help but notice this odd behaviour.

When we had finished the stir fry with vegetables and egg mixed in with fried rice, we set it out on the table. Leah, was quick to snag two portions. I looked at her.

"It smells really good. If you put it out there, it will be gone before we eat any." I smiled and took it as a compliment. As the guys settled at the table I heard an animal whine outback. Sam caught my eye as I looked to see what it was.

"Leah, you've made some great meals, but Bella clearly has been doing this a lot longer than you." He smiled and Leah gave small laugh. "This is great. When did you start cooking?"

"I've been cooking for as long as I remember. Renee makes..." I struggled to find a good word to describe her cooking. "Inventive dishes. I realized when I was little that if I wanted something edible it was best if I took over in the kitchen. She's great though. I had plenty of time to learn by trial and error. That's all you need Leah. I remember when I was a kid some of my trials and errors. It's a learning process." I remembered with a smile.

"Well that's a relief." I think it was Paul who said it. Sam smacked him upside of the head. Paul glared at Sam and a laugh passed between Leah and Jared. I was surprised how quickly the food was eaten. But looking at the clock, I saw I had to get home soon if I wanted to get my homework done.

"Can I get a ride home now? I need to get some homework done before bed. Sorry to run out of the washing the dishes like this. I promise to stick around and help with them next time."

"Bella, don't worry about it. Thank you for cooking. We'll take care of the dishes. I'll see you later Sam." Leah directed as she began to collect the dishes from dinner.

Sam passed me my coat and led me out to his truck. I felt content on the ride home. Which was odd considering that everything was in fact wrong. Edward had been taken from me. Sam led me up to the house and I was grateful the weather should melt the ice by tomorrow.

"We've spoken with Carlisle. Edward's being watched, he won't come over here. Don't try anything." Were Sam's parting words.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I resisted the urge to scream and throw a hissy fit like a toddler when Sam held my elbow all of the freaking way to my front door. _I'd rather fall than accept help from one of the people keeping Edward from me._ Throwing a temper tantrum wouldn't convince anyone that I didn't need babysitting. I was frustrated that I had spent the evening with Sam and his "crew", for lack of a better name, for a few hours and I wasn't any closer to finding out what was going on. The Cullen's and the Rez people were keeping things from me. I had to talk to Edward.

Charlie eyed me warily as I came through the front door.

"Did you have a good time?" He asked.

"Yeah." I stood at the bottom of the stairs as he looked me over. He was thinking. He didn't have to say anything, the pause and the look over me told me what he wanted to say. He was worried about me and wanted to protect me. Charlie's not any better at talking about feelings than I am. It is just as well, because we seem to communicate with each other without speaking aloud quite often. I could tell he understood where I was coming from.

I sniffed and carried the leftover shreds of pride that I had left high. I walked up the stairs taking extra care not to trip. Tripping wouldn't have conveyed that I could take care of myself. I got up to my room and realized that I had forgotten my school books. I waited a moment listening for the tv to come on before slipping downstairs to get my school books. That didn't help make my point. Eventually the tv did come on and I got my school books and did my homework.

It got late, with school in the morning I prepared for bed. I paused to say goodnight to Charlie from the top of the stairs. But the childish part of me was still sulking over him separating me from Edward.

I crawled into bed and attempted to go to sleep. Time passed slowly. I listened to the game on the tv. I heard the faint sounds of nature outside. It was a long night.

I woke up to my alarm after a long rough night of dreams I'd prefer to ignore. Edward kept hurting people in my dreams. I went through my morning routine, I wanted to see Edward. I needed to see Edward. That's it, I was going to see Edward. I finished getting ready. As soon as it was time to leave, I threw on my coat and shoes heading out the front door. Sam was in his truck watching the house. I locked the front door climbing into his truck with my bag in tow.

"Good mornin'," He greeted.

"Yeah, good morning Sam." I sighed.

There was silence. "What? No twenty questions this morning? We can both ask questions and you can keep answering my questions with more questions." I said sourly.

"You pout like a little kid." He tried to hide his grin. But I saw it. My eyes narrowed.

"You're hiding something Sam Uley. And so are the Cullen's. I'm going to find out what it is whether you want me to know or not." I'd ask Jake, because he seemed to recognize the cryptic reference to a treaty. I just had to wait for him to get back. I had a few pieces of this puzzle. Jake had a missing piece. I could figure it out with Jake's help.

"You're wasting your time Bella. What you need to focus on is yourself. The fact that you got into a relationship with Cullen speaks volumes into your mental health. You need to get healthy so that you can move on with your life. I mean, I understand they're designed to attract you. But at some point you have to wake up and realize you have a relationship with an incubus." Sam rambled.

"That's ridiculous, Edward wouldn't rape me. Where would you get that idea in your head?" It was so bizarre that he was now calling Edward an incubus.

"He might love you, but his good intentions can't lead to anything but destruction Bella."

I was quiet as I thought about this.

"You are still giving me cryptic answers. Until you give me something substantiated, I love and trust Edward."

"Your bruises are substantiated Bella. If you don't trust my answers, trust what your body is telling you with the pain criss-crossing your skin." I avoided his eye listening to the dismay in his voice.

At the school I jumped out and stiffly said thank you. I walked carefully into the school feeling his eyes on me. I didn't want him to see me trip.

I walked to class trying to deny that his words had affected me. Bruises. This seemed to be the key point of contention. If I could prove that Edward and I could be together without bruises, that would eliminate their argument.

Edward loved me. That's what mattered.

"Angela," I whispered to get her attention in class. She nodded without making eye contact so as not to draw our teacher's attention to us.

"Can you give me a ride somewhere at lunch please?" She glanced at me and then back at her book considering my request.

"What do you want a ride for?" She asked quietly.

"I want to see Edward."

"It's not for drugs right?" Thankfully no.

"No, it's not for drugs." Angela breathed out in relief.

"In that case, of course I would. I'm happy to help." I managed not to hug and simply thank her.

At lunch hour, Angela was cheerful about giving the ride. She seemed to be amused by the sneakiness of it. Honestly, I wasn't amused that I had to sneak around to see my boyfriend. We were looking for the turning to his driveway and I was apologizing for making Angela late getting back from lunch when We saw Edward standing by the road at his turning. I could see how we missed it. I thanked Angela and she wished me luck.

Edward swept me up into a hug before stepping away as though in disgust. It was icy and painful. He must have seen the pain in my eye.

"I'm sorry love. You usually smell so lovely. I'm just a little sensitive about smells."

"You think I smell bad?" I couldn't hide the pain in my voice.

"It's just a smell you've picked up. You're delicious." And then he looked like he wanted to smack himself.

"Delicious? Disgusting? Which is it? I can't believe I risked so much to see you and this is how you behave?!" I stomped off.

"Bella stop! You don't understand!"

"I understand that you're an asshole who loves me and lies to me. You and the people from the rez are lying to me!" My voice broke as I accused him as I turned to yell at him. "Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you!"

He was quiet.

"Are you going to tell me what you are or are you going to let my imagination continue to run wild? I feel like a fool." He softened. Our eyes connected and I was held in rapture as he stalked towards me. I wanted to be angry. To be angry with him, I needed to look away. But his golden eyes held me. He was so beautiful and I was hurting him.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"No love, I am the one who should be apologizing. I'm truly sorry." He swept me up in his arms and gazed into my eyes as he carried me to his house. The wind surged around me, but I was watching his eyes. It seemed like mere seconds that we were in his room and he was laying me down on his bed. He prowled around the bed like a predator with his prey. His eyes turned from gold slowly to a darker shade. I was confused by my feelings. Fear and arousal. How they could exist at the same time, was not within my previous experiences. He was lithe as he stalked me, crawling up the bed. His eyes never left mine as he climbed up my body. He was smelling me. I was frozen to the spot. Spread out like a starfish. What was he doing to me without even touching me?

His lips barely touched mine, but I hissed in anticipation. His eyes darkened again. The fear grew as his eyes changed colour and the arousal began to creep away from me. His hips planted firmly between my legs, I felt his length against my crotch. Something was wrong here. I wasn't sure what. I knew I lacked experience. But he seemed too hard. His hips and arousal didn't yield to my skin at all. I was still lost in his eyes until he began to kiss my cheeks, my ears, my neck. I felt reality come back to me. He body was heavy and hard stone. It was uncomfortable as he ground against me. He teeth grazed my skin and began to move faster against me. It didn't feel good anymore. I could only imagine how much worse it would get.

"No, get off me." Didn't he hear me? I panicked immediately thinking of all the things Billy and Sam had said. Their words rang through my head.

"Incubus!" I blurted. He had held my attention in a sleep like state and proceeded to mount my body. Isn't that what Sam had called him? Edward froze. I tried to see his eyes. I shouldn't have blurted that thought out loud. I held my breath. What had I done? His eyes met mine. I saw hurt and some anger. Mostly hurt.

"You know I'm a monster." He walked away from me.

"You could be." I admitted. "If you choose to be." The words seemed true.

"I want this, but I want you to stay human." His eyes lightened back to gold. "I hurt you?"

I nodded and blinked back tears. "You started to." I still felt fear. I couldn't hide it. "I need the truth."

"I can't tell you anything." He said as he retreated from me. He was so beautiful. I witnessed his sorrow. It seemed an ancient sorrow. Not something that I had caused. I felt anger rising. I was still being denied the truth.

"Complete strangers know what you are. And I don't. It hurts Edward. Your lack of confidence in me hurts. You don't trust me." I stated simply.

"You don't trust me!" He growled. "You called me an incubus." His face grew dark. Fear returned to claim me. I shuffled back on the bed pulling my knees up to my chest. That only caused his anger to grow.

Panic bubbled up in my throat as he stalked back to me.

"Edward, no, no, no, no!" I pleaded quietly.

He yanked me to him with his hands around my waist like I was bedding. It felt like a clamp. His mouth met mine in a crushing open mouth kiss. I hadn't paid attention to how cold he was before. But I felt like I was being assaulted by a block of ice now. His eyes met mine.

"I killed rapists. And you call me one." I froze. _He killed people?_ A chill ran down my spine.

"Take me home Edward." I ordered with as much authority in my tone as I could muster.

"You taste wonderful." He must be crazy, I thought at this point. His hands had been manhandling me as they were roaming my body and I felt sore.

"I said take me home!" I yelled as loudly as I could.

Rosalie swept into the room. _Shouldn't she be at school?_ I wondered.

"Let her go Edward." She growled.

His hands released me and his eyes stared at Rosalie.

"That's the last time you hold her Edward. I've let you and Alice convince everyone of too much." Watching the two of them confront each other was like watching to large animals face off. Emmett and Carlisle stood in the doorway.

"Edward, her face is swelling up." Carlisle sounded disappointed. Rosalie took me out of his room. I found myself in her convertible heading home.

"Bella, listen to Charlie. Edward will only hurt you more. I know my brother. Don't come see him anymore." She pulled up outside my house. I then noticed Sam's truck. At some point, he had followed us home. I chose not to look at his eyes.

I got out of the vehicle. "I forgot my books."

"I'll bring them around." She said before I closed the door and she pulled away.

"Bella, I need to talk to you inside right now." He seemed to wince as he looked at me.

I wondered what I would look like in the mirror. I nodded and unlocked the door before walking inside. I headed to the couch and took a seat. I tried to hide the stiffness I felt as I walked. I would have sat at the kitchen table but my crotch hurt. I ignored the signals of pain yelling at me as best I could.

"What did he do to your face?" He was smelling the air and grimaced. We spoke slowly, choosing our words carefully.

"He ... made a mistake."

"Tell me what happened." He said patiently. I remembered how scared I had been. How I had suddenly wanted someone to actually save me for the first time. I had a feeling this was my chance.

"I'd rather talk to someone else. I don't want to talk to you." My fear that I had been controlling caught up with me and a cry escaped me. "I want Jake." I cried. It was so strange that I would want to talk to Jake. I suppose he was one of the few people I knew here and I just felt safe with him. He made everything feel better.

He left the room and went to the phone. My hands probed my face. Did I really want to see the mirror?

"He's back early. I called Billy. He'll be right here."

I stared into space thinking over the days' events. I felt my heart pound remembering Edward's face darkening. There was a knock at the door. I didn't register Jake walking in.

I noticed him kneeling before me, his hands on my knees looking into my eyes saying my name.

"You wanted to talk to me." I blinked. He looked so different. His face had lost so much of its boyishness that I was saddened for a moment. He seemed bigger. Heavily muscled.

"Jake," Sam called softly."You've been very well controlled, but be very aware of what you are doing here."

"What happened Bella? Why did you go see him?"

"I wanted to see him. But he was ... different. His eyes were gold and they never let me go. And I was happy with that at first. I felt safe and loved. But when he put me on the bed, his eyes started to turn dark. Jake?" He was shaking. "I'm upsetting you. I'll stop now."

"No, Bella. I'm fine. I need to hear this." I waited and his shaking stopped. He stroked my hair and looked at me reassuringly.

"It was strange. I felt like ... prey. He wasn't even touching me, but I couldn't move. I mean, he's held me in his eyes lots of times. I liked it. But this time he didn't look away once. It was so strange. I was starting to feel a little bit scared. He started kissing my face and held himself against me. He hadn't done that before. I've never done that before. I don't know why, but it felt ... wrong. I was scared. His felt his teeth and he was starting to hurt and so I told him to get off. He got off but I hurt his feelings. We argued. He made cryptic remarks. I think I called him a name. Then his face changed and he terrified me. He grabbed my waist, it hurt. He kissed me and it sounds weird but I thought he was going to break my jaw-." Jake was shaking again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be putting this all on you. It's not your problem. I messed up-."

He shook his head and took deep breaths. I watched as he calmed down.

"Bella, finish your story."

"He was hurting me and told him to take me home now. He ignored me but Rosalie stormed into the room. She was really pissed off. I think they've been arguing about me for a while now. She doesn't want me in the house. She doesn't want Edward to see me. Emmett and Carlisle came to the door. Then Rosalie drove me home. It's never been like that with Edward before. I've always felt safe with him. It was like it was someone else. I don't care about bruises, I'm used to accidents. But he scared me. It felt like he wanted to scare me. That hurts. I trusted him to make me feel safe." Jake sat down and pulled me into his arms. I lay against his warm body listening to his heart beat.

"You're melting away the cold. It's nice." I looked at Jake's face. It was dark until he saw me looking at him. He beamed a smile at me.

"I'm glad you like it Bella." He stroked my hair until Charlie walked in.

Charlie wasn't pleased to say the least. He took me to the hospital after looking at my waist. I had to talk to the police. They took more pictures, but they included the waist down this time. I couldn't get my clothes off by myself. I hadn't realized it was that bad. I kept asking for Jake, I wanted him to stay. He had a warm smile and soft touch and reassuring words. He smelled nice and I felt safe with him. Without Renee, I was glad Jake was there. Charlie seemed to appreciate Jacob being around too.

When I got home, I stiffly walked upstairs. I went to change and shower for bed, but found that it was too difficult. I stood at the top of the stairs and asked for help. Jacob came up and flashed me a bright smile. He helped me take a shower. He seemed to know exactly what to do and it didn't feel awkward. He noticed my surprise.

"Billy's in a wheelchair remember? I had to help take showers for awhile."

He kept a straight face. I noticed his erection under his pants at one point and blushed. It was the only indication that he was in close proximity to my naked body. I hid my face and pretended not to have seen.

"If you need help in the morning, you can give me a call. I'll come up. But this may look better with some rest." He offered.

"Sam and Charlie and Billy are all angry with me. I feel like an idiot. But no one would explain anything. I don't know what's going on Jake, but Edward's not human. Sam and Billy know what he is. I need to know. I'm absolutely sure he held me down with his eyes. I know it sounds crazy. But I know what I felt. Do you believe me?"

Jake's jaw tensed. He was quiet for a moment. "I believe you Bella. Now, get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." He left and I wished he could cuddle with me in my bed that night.

That night, I dreamt that Rosalie hadn't come. In the dream he had raped and killed me, his face twisting into Phil and back to himself. I woke up screaming remembering his darkened face. I sensed this face wasn't his darkest face. I sensed that he would go to much darker places than this. I lay awake listening to every noise in the house and outside. There was no indication of danger, but I felt on edge.

I wondered what I would do if and when I saw Edward again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

**A/N Yeah, it's another dark chapter. But there's a point. **

I stayed home the next day. Jacob came by to visit. We hung out for some time but I made an early retreat to my room. Jake was talking to Charlie at the bottom of the stairs as I read my text messages from my room.

-Bella, talk to me. Alice told me you will read my texts.- _How would Alice know? Why is that relevant?_

-I need you and you need me. We're meant to be together.- I wished that I was so sure.

-I'm sorry. I promise I will never hurt you again. You are my life. You are destroying me. You have to talk to me.-

I was hurting Edward. Guilt overwhelmed me. I was destroying him. He had scared me. But he hadn't meant to hurt me had he? He didn't raise his hand to me. Refusing to talk to him was a harsh reaction. There wasn't any harm in talking him. So I called him on my cell phone before Charlie came to bed.

"Bella?"

"Hey Edward,"

"Oh thank God Bella! Alice couldn't see you for most of the evening!"

"Of course Alice couldn't see me, she wasn't with me. Why do you keep referring to her?" I questioned.

"Never mind Bella. Let me just say my piece please. My behaviour has been reprehensible and I acknowledge the physical and mental harm I have inflicted on you has no place in our relationship. Bella, please accept my sincerest apologies. You are my life Bella. I am in your debt and I will do anything to resolve this conflict. I'm begging you, can you find it within your heart to forgive me?"

I took a deep breath. I was silent as I thought about his apology. These were all of the things that I had wanted to hear. I didn't want to start out alone again. If I could just forgive Edward, we could forge ahead together. My heart began to pound in my chest. I was sitting in a camisole and pajama shorts on my bed. I could still see his marks on my body. It was hard in this moment to remember the terror I felt the last time that I saw him. I could see his face in front of me in my mind. Would it be so terrible if I forgave him and we worked through this?

"I don't know." I felt tears building in my chest and fought to hold them down.

"Bella, just forgive me and let's move on. You are just a junkie without me. You would be whoring the streets of Seattle looking for your next fix without me. I'll take care of you. You-" It had been awhile since he'd said something like this. I interrupted ready to agree to at least see him so I wouldn't have to hear anymore of this.

"Edward, stop! I'll-" I noticed Jacob in my doorway as I paused on my next words. He was clearly very angry. Charlie stood behind him confused.

"Bella, hand me the phone please. I heard what he said." He said in a flat monotone voice. How could Jacob hear that?

"But we were just talking." I defended.

"And I just want to talk to him." Jacob said evenly. Charlie seemed to realize what was happening and disappointment settled over his face.

"Bella, who is that?" Edward asked.

"It's my friend Jacob. I'm going to hand him the phone Edward." I didn't think Jacob would take no for an answer. I handed the phone to Jake over Edward's words of resistance.

"You fucking leech! You are sucking the life out of her. The pack will be talking to Carlisle about this and you WILL NOT call again. Do you understand me kiddy fiddler?" Jake's eyes settled on me. I couldn't read his facial expression. I assumed he knew just how pathetic I was. I didn't hear how Edward responded. I wondered what a kiddy fiddler was. "Bella's legal guardian would like to talk to you."

Charlie took the phone.

"Edward, I know you've received the restraining order by now. This is a breech. I'll let this go this time. But I won't be so forgiving in future. Now fuck off." Charlie turned off the phone and put it in his pocket.

Hot tears were running down my face and I felt pathetic and embarrassed. I wanted the phone back to apologize to Edward for their behaviour. But I didn't want them to know that I would so readily forgive Edward.

"Did you have to speak to him that way?" I asked between cries.

"After what he said to you? We were polite." Jake said.

"Bella," Charlie said with a tired voice. "I don't know when you became this person. I don't recognize this girl. My girl stood up for herself. I want you back and I'll stand by your side while you figure this out. Don't contact Edward." He leaned against the door with a hand on his hip.

"It's still me Dad. If you force me, I'll wait until I turn eighteen in September and see him." I had a moment of defiance. It didn't seem like much of a threat given that it was nine months away.

Charlie and Jake looked at each other.

"Is that a deadline Bella? Because I've seen your story before and I know how it ends. The girl ends up dead." Charlie looked me dead in the eye. I dropped my gaze. I felt a rock in the pit of my stomach. Charlie kissed my forehead before leaving the room. "Thanks for the heads up Jake." They acknowledged each other before Charlie headed downstairs.

"Bella, ..." Jake looked like he was grasping for answers. I didn't have any for him. "I don't understand how you could call him, how you could consider his apologies or how you could allow him to speak to you like that. You'd eat me for breakfast if I dared to say something even half as vile to you. But I'm here for you and I'll try to understand." He sat down beside me and I listened to us breathing together. It was soothing, just focusing on deep breaths in and deep breaths out. He seemed to know that it was time to be quiet.

I felt heat radiating from him and shivered. I leaned my head into his shoulder revelling in his warmth. He gathered me in his arms and pulled us to rest his back against the head board of my bed. He stroked my hair and a sob escaped me.

"I don't know who I am anymore. I tuned out his noise and everyone else's with it."

"So you aren't really hearing what he's saying?"

"Before I came to Forks I started tuning out life whenever the noise got to be too much. I don't notice when I do it. I feel like I'm losing time. I'm just not hearing everything. I hear conversations. But I'm not listening to all of them. I feel like I'm missing a lot of pieces in the puzzle. Some of it is my own fault. I just wasn't listening. Some of it is people keeping secrets from me. I think I'm starting to regret it. I'm wondering if I really know everything about my relationship with Edward. I'm scared. It's like I have moments of clarity. And the truth scares me, so I push it away and pretend everything is okay. That makes me pretty pathetic huh?" Jacob thought quietly before answering.

"I think instead of quitting drugs, you traded them for Edward. When you're around him, it's like you're on tranquilizers. I don't think you're pathetic. I think that you're in over your head and that you need help. When you stop drowning things out, he's going to look different to you. For now, you just need to stay away from him." We listened to the tv downstairs and our breathing.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this Jake. Usually I'd go Renee. But I had to leave her. You've been so understanding. I'm going to trust your instinct on this. I'll stay away from Edward for now. See how he looks to me in a month or so. Maybe he will seem different." We were quiet for a few minutes.

"Bells, why did you start taking drugs in Phoenix?" My heart skipped a beat and I felt panic building. I didn't want this conversation.

"I'm not talking about that." I said flatly. That was just not a conversation I was open to having. I had no intention of ever talking about it. I'm good at repressing unpleasantness. I had tidily put that away in a box in the attic rather than hanging it out on the washing line and burning it before an audience. I melted into Jake.

_The tv screen was static and a loud scratching static noise roared from it. I watched myself asleep on the couch. Outside the window a wolf and a man were gripped in combat drowned out over the static. I slept in ignorance. _

I woke up from my dream to the sound of a bang. An engine started outside. The bang was the front door, the engine was Charlie's cruiser pulling away. The clock read seven am. I hid under my blanket and went back to sleep. No sooner than my head hit the pillow loud impatient knocking wafted up from the front door. The clock read eight thirty. I jumped out of bed and held the wall for support before attempting to run down the stairs. I fell the last few steps and scrambled to open the door. It was Sam.

"I was starting to get worried ..." He looked at my arms and chest. I was still wearing the camisole and shorts.

"Why are you here?" I interrupted his gawking and held my hands behind my back feeling self-conscious about my bruises.

"Charlie said he would leave you a note. Did he forget?" I motioned Sam in and went to the kitchen. A cold pot of coffee sat on the counter and a note.

Bella

Sam will be by at 8:30 to take you over to his place. You'll hang out with him and Leah for the day.

Love,

Dad

"You called Cullen." He said to me. I didn't look up at him.

"That's right Sam, I have no pride." I shuffled awkwardly for a moment, knowing that he was watching me.

"I just woke up. Could you wait for me while I take a shower?" I didn't hear an answer but didn't want to look at his face. I kept my eyes to the ground and assumed he didn't mind as I headed upstairs. I felt like an idiot and that my idiocy was on display for strangers.

I basked in the heat of the hot water gently massaging my skin. I tried to keep it short. I towel dried my hair and picked out a long sleeve shirt and jeans to wear. As I came down the stairs, Sam held the front door open. His eyes were on the tree line beside my house and he looked angry. He stayed close and ushered me into his truck. I looked high in the tree line trying to see what he saw. But I didn't see anything.

The silence during the ride over was choking me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and blinked back tears. He was so angry. He must feel betrayed. I felt a little scared of what he was going to say. He seemed like he wanted to hit me, but I didn't think he'd do that. For some time he kept watching the mirrors and it felt like his rage was growing. I looked behind us but didn't see any vehicles following us. At some point he relaxed and stopped watching the mirrors. As we headed into La Push, the tension eased in the truck.

"It's going to be okay Bella. You know that right?" Sam asked.

"I'm sorry I made you so angry. I just-I tried-I don't know what I'm doing." I tried to find the right words and knew that I had failed miserably. He stared at me for a moment.

"Did you think I was angry with you?" He asked.

"Well who else could you be angry at?"

"Cullen obviously."

"I should have just stood up for myself in the beginning. Edward's had practice, he knows how to work me now." I tried to explain.

"We know Cullen. Given his years of experience and talents, he would have probably worked you whether you stood up for yourself or not. I think we're getting to a point where I have to tell you what's going on. He's just getting worse." Sam commented.

"What is he doing?" I asked.

"He's ... stalking you." Sam seemed to get angrier as he spoke. "I've heard the threats he's made against you."  
"Threats?" I asked.

"When you're not around, he says he's going to do things to you."

"He's angry with you. He's goading you. He won't hurt me." I told myself.

"Holy shit Bella! Do you actually still believe that after all he's done to you?" He stared at me incredulously. I watched out the window and avoided he's gaze.

"It's like watching sheep to the slaughter." He muttered. I didn't care to say more and turned my full attention to the scenery drowning him out. I couldn't tell if he said more.

"Well if it isn't the Human Punching Bag Extraordinaire!" Paul smirked as he came into Sam and Leah's place. Jared and Jake followed him. Jared laughed dryly but Sam and Jake weren't laughing. I had pottered around Sam and Leah's place all day. I couldn't really say what was said or what we did. I drowned out the noise. Paul's name calling brought me to the present. He was probably doing me a favour. It wasn't healthy to float through life. I wished I noticed when I did it so that I would focus on staying in the present. These large spaces in time were becoming more apparent to me. I was starting to pay more attention. Edward was starting to look a lot darker to me now than he had appeared to be in October.

"Keep up the name calling Paul and I'll be the Human Nut Cracker Extraordinaire." I said quietly not expecting anyone to hear me. Leah continued cleaning but the men all stopped and stared. I looked up as I noticed the silence. Jake, Sam and Jared laughed. Paul narrowed his eyes at me and I felt intimidated.

"I didn't mean for you to hear that." He continued to stare. I looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for sticking up for yourself." He looked uncomfortable and walked away.

Jake came to my side and squeezed me into a hug.

"You just get out of school?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Hold on, are they in high school too?" I said indicating to Jared and Paul.

"Yeah, Paul's a Junior and Jared's a Senior." Jake answered.

"Why do you all look like you're in your twenties? That can't be a coincidence." I asked suspiciously.

"I think she's waking up." Jared said.

"That's part of why I called a meeting. Edward's not getting better. He's getting more manipulative. I've been talking to the elders and they agreed that this has been a really unfair hand. We're going to have to level this playing field a little. It's time to tell Bella what's going on."

"Thank fuck." Said Paul.

Sam sat us down while Leah tried to give me reassuring smiles. Jake held me close.

He told me that the Cullen's were vampires. Usually the Quileute ran vampires off but they had a treaty with the Cullen's because the Cullen's fed on animals instead of people. Due to Edward's unusual behaviour towards me, they had been in negotiations with the Cullen's leader. Carlisle had been kind enough to elaborate on some details to assist Sam in protecting me from Edward. Carlisle was working to stave off Edward's interest in me. Vampires were designed to draw humans in. They drew in their prey with their appearance, their smell and with their eyes. Their eyes can hold people in a trance. Carlisle had surmised that I had been captivated on a daily and repetitive trance and it was inhibiting my reasoning. Edward was obsessive. He had the ability to read minds but for the first time, when he met me, my mind was locked. He had grown to love me, which had kept me safe so far, but his obsession was endangering me. He admitted there were more secrets within the rez that he wasn't ready to talk to me about. He summarized that they were the protectors and they were trying to protect me. It was difficult when I seemed to be drawn to danger. The group sat quietly waiting for my response.

"This isn't an April Fool's joke." I sighed. "Why can't my boyfriend just be my boyfriend and my step-father be my step-father?" I asked Sam.

"Your step-father?" He asked.

"Never mind. I should have known Edward wasn't interested in my winning personality. I'm an idiot." I got up and ran out of the house into the drizzle outside. I ran into the woods without direction, tripping and falling on the way. I was soon covered in mud and bleeding scratches. I tripped and came to a complete stop against a large boulder. It hurt. I didn't register where the pain was coming from. I didn't care.

"Can I talk to you?" Jake's sweet low voice asked me gently. I saw he wasn't dirtied at all. He wasn't even breathing heavier from the run. I nodded looking into his eyes for the first time. My heart skipped faster. How had I not noticed how beautiful he was before? He had always been good looking. But I felt like I was just really seeing him right now. He's words interrupted my thoughts.

"You can't let a bloodsucker hurt you like this. It doesn't matter what drew him to you. He's a monster."

"He's the second monster that's tried to have sex me. The only two people who've taken the time to show me they wanted me were monsters."

His face registered something. "Your step-father?" My stomach dropped. I didn't play that well did I? I guess the cats out of the bag.

"He left me alone when I was doing drugs. I guess he didn't find a stoned chick sexy. And if he did touch me sometimes anyway, it was just easier if I was high." I was lost in my thoughts and missed some of what he was saying. I pushed my focus back to Jake.

"Bella, I'm sorry about what you've been through. But you're not done yet. You're not alone. You have the pack and you have Charlie. We need you to stop tuning us out. We need you to be help us with this. Can you stand with us?" I took a deep breath.

"You want to face this head on? And if I get crushed?" I asked.

"I promise you won't be crushed. We'll be strong for you. We just need you on our side for this." He soothed.

"If he's a vampire, won't he hurt you guys?" I worried.

"That's not for you to worry about. We'll be fine."

"If someone gets hurt because of me I won't forgive myself."

He helped me to my feet.

"You're getting ahead of yourself. I remember when you used to visit when we were kid's you had a beautiful laugh. I heard it when I tickled you. I want to hear you laugh at least once a day. Now, for that to happen, you have to be listening. You have to pay attention to what's happening around you. Can we start there?"

"I don't notice when I tune stuff out." I admitted as he led me back to Leah and Sam's place.

"I'm sure that we can call you back to earth. I liked your nut cracker comment. I want to hear more of that snark Bella." His laughter boomed and passed through me. I felt a light smile lift me and thought about what he had said.

"I'm surprised that you aren't all that bothered about vampires existing." He remarked.

"I guess. It seems like a minor detail in the face of my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend stalking me. That is enough supernatural stuff for one day. Sam's not going to tell me 'there is no spoon' is he?" I asked, feigning concern.

"I see you've played knifey-spoony." He said all-knowingly. I laughed and it felt good.

"See, that's what I'm looking for!" Jake grinned.

Sam had said there was more that they weren't ready to tell me. What else could they possibly be keeping from me? How crazy was this world?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A/N a little change in pace to the story. **

_I sat at a large bonfire at night beneath a sky where stars and a moon peeked through cloud cover. The air was thick with a heavy dark smoke, unusual for a wood burning fire. Three large naked tanned men with black hair and dark eyes were jovially gathering pieces of what looked to be arms, heads and torso's without blood and throwing them into the fire. I tried to avert my eyes from them. _

_I saw across from me, despite the fire, a great silver and black wolf sitting and watching the men in approval. The men saw me, but not the wolf. He shimmered down into a naked man. I tried to focus my eyes on his face, away from his nudity. He looked something like Billy, only he had a slim build. More like Embry than Jacob. Somehow he had a majestic and primal air about him. He stood and walked to sit beside me with a bold smile on his face that held no humour. _

"_I wondered when you would wake up."_

"_I'm in bed sleeping." I laughed. From the look on his face, it would seem that was the wrong answer. I restrained myself from using more humour._

"_You have been in a trance. You have been difficult to reach. The pack are not dreamers, but yet they sense your place amongst them." I looked confused._

"_The pack?" I asked._

"_It is good that they guard our secrets, but you are not the person they must guard them from." He gave in explanation. Now I was frustrated. More cryptic remarks._

"_What are they doing?"I asked looking at the men now gathered watching the bonfire. _

"_Burning vampires." I tried to recall the faces of the heads I had seen. _

"_These are not your vampires. This is not your pack. These are ancestors. But this is not why I brought you here. I have been patient, but we are running out of time. Our enemies have grown much stronger than previous generations. Our pack must grow large. Our Alpha, must be prepared. Our dreamer must be healed. You have much work to do." He said intensely. Fear built in my stomach. _

"_You will speak to Sam and Jacob in the morning. You will tell them what I tell you now. I speak to you as Taha Aki, The Great Spirit Wolf. I tell you that you are this generations' dreamer. Not every generation needs a dreamer, but their Alpha will need my guidance as our enemies grow stronger and our world grows smaller. The protectors have been designed with strong bodies to protect. The dreamers have been designed with strong minds to speak with spirits. Our true Alpha needs to be prepared to take his place or this pack will fail as protectors. Do not continue your life as you would any day. Speak to them first. _

_Dream well."_

My alarm was ringing. I looked at the time. It must have been ringing for at least thirty minutes already. How had I slept through all of that noise? I groaned inwardly as I turned it off. I felt like I hadn't slept at all. As though I had stayed up and sat at a bonfire talking all night. My head was pounding and I was exhausted.

"Holy Crow." Somehow, I felt responsibility on my chest and NEEDED to talk to Sam and Jacob. Charlie was long gone. I rushed down the stairs to the phone.

"Uley residence." Leah's voice rang out.

"Leah, I need to speak to Sam please." I mumbled.

"He's right here." She sounded confused. There was a pause.

"Bella?" Asked Sam.

"Sam, who is Taha Aki and why is he in my dreams? He seemed to think this was your problem." I tried to hold back my timidity. Sam coughed.

"Who told you his name?" He demanded.

"The man in the dream did. I was told I had to talk to you and Jacob. I want to ignore it and hope it goes away, but I don't think that's going to happen. I've been having bizarre dreams since Billy asked to see my arms. I think I'm going crazy, I just want the wolves out of my dreams." I whined.

"Bella, I'll get Jacob and we're coming over straight away." Sam reassured me.

"Bye." I said deflated before hanging up the phone. Like the other dreams, this dream was still very clear to me. I didn't need to write anything down to remember. They were like distinct memories of events I had attended. I made coffee in the pot and sat at the table before falling asleep with my head on my arms. It felt like I blinked when there was a knock at the door. I went to the door not bothering to look at them, my head was still pounding. I yawned before heading back to the kitchen.

"Bella, we're here. Tell us everything from your dream."

"I'll tell you the message you need, but I'm going back to bed afterwards. When I wake up, I want some answers." I poured myself a mug of coffee and gestured towards the kitchen to help themselves. When they didn't move I looked at their faces. It didn't look like they were interested in food or drinks. They were anxious for answers.

"I saw three naked guys running around throwing a being's body parts in a fire. I was told they were ancestors, a pack. They saw me but couldn't see the big wolf sitting across from us. He became a man and sat next to me. Like he knew me." I sat at the table and took a sip of my much needed coffee. I looked to see that they were still listening. "I think he was trying to call me a dreamer. He had a few things to say but one main message he wanted you two to know. I spoke to Taha Aki, The Great Spirit Wolf. He told me that I am this generations' dreamer. Not every generation needs a dreamer, but the Alpha will need his guidance as enemies grow stronger and the world grows smaller. Protectors are designed with strong bodies to protect. Dreamers are designed with strong minds to talk to spirits. The true Alpha needs to be prepared to take his place or this pack will fail as protectors." I drank more of my coffee. There was silence. I didn't want to see their reaction.

"I guess that means something to you. I don't even know if I want to know. There was a whole bunch of other stuff. I don't have the option of forgetting these dreams, it's like they're freaking tattooed in my head and it hurts. I'll tell you the rest once I've had some sleep and Tylenol. The other dreams made me a little tired, but after talking to the wolf guy I feel like someone bashed my ears in." I found my tone changed to one of authority. "You will talk to your elders this morning and prepare Jacob for next week." They stared at me." I groaned a left them at the table as I made my way back to bed. The sleep was bliss.

I woke up after noon and felt well rested. I heard men talking downstairs. I grabbed toiletries and a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom. After taking a shower and getting ready I and went downstairs feeling more like myself. Downstairs I saw Billy, Jacob, Sam and an old man talking. They went quiet and watched me walk in. They appeared to be in awe.

"Oh don't look at me like that. Dreamer, I'm pretty sure equates to mailman." The two older men chuckled. But Sam and Jake weren't laughing.

"You're looking better Bella." Said Jacob. I nodded before putting some bread in the toaster. I'd offer lunch but we needed to pick up groceries.

"Bella, I want you to meet Quil Sr." Billy said before we greeted each other.

"Can you tell us all of the dreams?" Asked the old man. I nodded. My toast popped and I buttered it, pouring a glass of water before taking a seat.

"I had the first one after Billy and Charlie saw my arms. It was of me in the woods with Jacob. It quickly became night. I listened to wolves howling as if to warn me of danger. I backed towards my house. I saw Jacob under the moonlight. He was worried and I reached for him before Edward appeared and ripped out his throat. I was pretty confused by that. I wasn't sure if I was too late to try to help Jake or if I should run. He told me he wouldn't hurt me but I pointed at Jake and said that that hurt. Then I heard a wolf behind me snarl at Edward before I woke up. The message was strange, but it seemed to tell me I'm with a bunch of wolves. Why would I be with wolves?" They laughed. I blushed and felt a little bit of anger. "Don't laugh, explain things to me."

"Sorry, we'll explain as soon as you finish telling us about your dreams. We need to know about them." Billy reassured me.

I took a deep breath before telling the next dream. "Edward and Alice wore red cloaks and for some reason their eyes were red." I shuddered. "They were with a powerful group wearing cloaks varying from red, gray and black. They were at a clearing. Twenty-five wolves with the rest of the Cullen's still yellow eyes, and four women and one man with yellow eyes stood together opposite the red eyes. They ran at each other and I stood behind and watched a fight. I watched Edward rip into the wolves and Cullen's. It hurt as though they were my wolves and the Cullen's were my family. I didn't hear any of the sounds. I woke up very tired and disturbed to see Edward betray and hurt his people. I really tried to forget that dream. I told the guys, these dreams are like tattoos inside my head. I can't pick and choose what I remember."

They were still watching me and listening. I ate more toast and sipped water before continuing.

"That was the night before I went to see Edward."

"What? Even after you had that dream, you went to see him?" Jacob gasped.

"Well, didn't know that they weren't just my imagination reacting to people calling him dangerous." I defended. "Anyway, I had a dream that I was sleeping on the couch, oblivious to a wolf and a man in combat out front of the house under the sound of static coming from the tv. I felt like I was being chastised and someone was telling me to wake up. You guys must think I'm completely obsessed with wolves." I sighed before eating more toast and drinking more water.

"Never mind that Bella. Were there more?"Billy asked gently.

I acknowledged him. "Well, the last one was last night. Usually these dreams sit in my mind when I wake up, I'm a little tired and I feel like a message just hit me over the head. Last night, it was a big dream and I felt horrible afterwards. In the dream, I sat at a bonfire while three naked men burned body parts. Across from me at the bonfire, sat a gigantic silver and black wolf. The men could see me, but they couldn't see the wolf. The wolf became a man and he came and sat beside me. He told me I had been difficult to reach and had been in a trance. He said "the pack" sensed my place amongst them. I asked who the pack were but he said that the pack guarded secrets well, but that I wasn't who they must guard them from. I guess we're going to have to find this pack. Sorry, he's cryptic. He told me the men were burning vampires in the bonfire. He said they were not my pack but ancestors. He told me that he had been patient but was running out of time. He your enemies grow stronger than previous generations. He said the pack must grow large and the Alpha must be prepared, the dreamer must be held and that there was a lot of work to do. I was told to speak to Sam and Jacob. He told me he was Taha Aki, the Great Spirit Wolf. He told me I was this generations' dreamer. Not every generation needs a dreamer but that the "Alpha" will need his guidance. Enemies grow stronger and the world is smaller. The protectors have been designed with stronger bodies to protect. Dreamers have been designed with strong minds to speak with spirits. The true Alpha needs to be prepared to take his place or the pack will fail as protectors. And I had to speak to them before I did anything." I bit off more toast and sipped my water. "So how do we find the Alpha and this pack? I'm guessing he's referring to the wolves. You guys are the protectors, do you have any idea?" I asked Jacob and Sam.

"You're talking to us Bells." Jacob grinned at me.

I laughed. "You have twenty-five trained wolves down in La Push? Where are you hiding them?"

Billy explained. "Bella, they're werewolves. Sam is the Alpha because he phased first. Jacob has a birth right as Alpha but rejected the position. Now Sam and me are convincing him to reconsider."

"Throw my hat in. Jake, that was the largest message from the dream. If he comes back to talk to me again I think my brain will explode if his message gets any louder." I pleaded half joking but half serious. I was a little worried my dreams could do damage to me.

"How can I be Alpha? I don't turn sixteen for another month." Jacob asked.I felt bad for him.

"How old do you look son?" Quil Sr asked. I looked at his old, weathered and wrinkled face. I wondered if he had the same sense of humour as his grandson has because his eyes carried the light of a much younger man. I wondered if you could ever really get old with that sense of humour.

"I look about twenty one or twenty two."

"You do realize that's not just physical maturity. Your mind is maturing at the same rate as your body. I know it's still not a lot of years, but this is how it was designed. When the threat is immediate, you are changed to meet the threat. The truth is Sam may be older, but he isn't better prepared to be Alpha than you are Jake." We were quiet. "How old do you suppose I am Jake?" He asked rhetorically. Billy turned his attention to Quil Sr and narrowed his eyes. "I was part of the last pack." He said with a wry smile. My breath caught in my throat. We all looked surprised. "No use keeping it to myself now. After the last true Alpha chose to age and die with his wife, I waited for the next generation. I grew tired of pretending to be a young man in a young man's body. I was ready to be an old man, in an old man's body. I grew tired of being an Alpha without a pack. I gave up on seeing the next pack. I grew stronger and faster with time and had hunted down Cold One's out past our peninsula seeking challenges. Eventually I blended into a generation and aged. I did not expect to see this generation and now I feel a little embarrassed that I can't usher you into the role of alpha like a member of the pack prior to ours did for our Alpha. I did not hold up my end and I am sorry. This doesn't change the fact that you are the appropriate candidate to lead this pack. And it would seem that Taha Aki has confidence in you. I would take his blessing and step into your role." Quil Sr smiled, before looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar when he looked up to Billy's scowl. Quil Sr laughed.

"Billy, you would have made a good Alpha for your generation. You are so much like the last Alpha." Quil Sr chuckled.

"Billy looks a lot like Taha Aki except his mouth and jaw are different and he was built more like Embry. If Taha Aki, Ephraim Black and Billy all look similar those are some strong recessive genes. Does Jake take after his Mom?" I observed aloud. Four sets of eyes landed on me.

"What?"I asked.

"I know you said you saw him, I just didn't connect that you saw what he looked like. It's just strange to imagine that you saw what he looked like. And that he looked like me." Billy said. "We grew up hearing stories about him. What was he like?"

I frowned. "He is primal and bold. I made a joke and from the look on his face, he isn't familiar with the concept of humour."

"You tried to joke with him?" Billy laughed.

"He was giving me a hard time for taking a long time to wake up."Billy held his gaze on me. I felt uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I didn't know who he was. I had a bunch of naked men running around me. I tried to look somewhere else when I found a wolf only for him to become yet another naked guy. I got a really good look at his face avoiding looking at other things. When you have naked women show up in your dreams, you can tell me what the correct response is. I would have preferred the PG13 rated dream." I was blushing furiously by the end of my rant under the weight of their silence.

"I think most of us like dreams filled with naked women running around Bella. It's hard for us to relate." Jacob started a round of laughter. I shot out of my seat. "Can you guys go dance naked in front of a fire or dream about naked women running around you? I think I've had enough for one day."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New year!" Leah and Sam's living room roared. The guys had brought dates to the New Years party. Leah and Sam kissed each other passionately. Paul kissed a girl from school and I cringed as they were all tongues and grinding against each other. Jared softly and sweetly kissed his shy date. I blushed at Jake having forgotten people tend to kiss at midnight. Jake raised an eyebrow and I leaned forward to kiss him gently on the lips when beer buzzed Paul swept in and shoved his tongue down my throat. His hot body permeated me and I was momentarily stunned as he flooded my senses. That felt surprisingly good. I was silent as he pulled away giving a loud howl. I hadn't been kissed like that before. Still I was happy and just a little smug to see Jake punch him in the face with a deafening crack. I didn't appreciate being kissed without permission and only regretted that I had not been strong enough to do it myself. It wasn't about whether I liked the kiss, it was the principal of the action.

Paul looked confused. "Hey? What was that for? I figured if you weren't going to, I would. Every girl should get a kiss when the ball drops." He said with a distant smile. The pretty girl from his school didn't look anymore impressed than Jacob and stormed off. Paul observed that I was still a little breathless with amusement and I felt a little venom directed at him. Instead of verbally assaulting him I looked pointedly at the pretty girl leaving him. "That's your lay leaving Paul. Remember, the Human Nutcracker Extraordinaire? You won't get laid with me."

Jacob looked too angry to speak. I was surprised how I took it in stride.

Paul was torn between bantering with me and chasing down sex._ Wait! Was antagonising a woman in his mind really rivalling an opportunity to get laid? That twisted son of a –_

"Paul! Go get Tonya now!" Sam ordered.

I caught the same look of realization about Paul on Leah's face as was on mine. We burst out laughing together on cue. Then we were holding each other laughing because we had the same reaction and we couldn't have scripted it better. Now the guys were staring at us like we were completely crazy. Which only served to trigger another ripple of hysterical laughter and we collapsed on the floor together. The more confused the guys were, the harder we laughed. Eventually they moved on to video games and we sat hugging each other. We'd both been dragged through the insane lives of these men and had our lives laid bare in front of strange men. It was a bond of friendship and camaraderie. Before this moment, I hadn't realized that she suffered the same insecurities and breach of privacy as I had even if it was for different reasons. It was a relief that we had finally found someone who shared and understood my feelings completely.

Kim was younger than us and had to be home for twelve thirty. Paul took Tonya home and it didn't go unnoticed that he didn't apologize to the girl for kissing someone else. Leah popped open a beer and I drank coffee as we stood in the kitchen chatting about nothing in particular. We made observations about the four wolves squabbling over the two controllers.

"So, dreamer huh?" Leah asked.

"Misnomer if you ask me. I'm dreaming but I'm not sleeping during the dreams. It's exhausting. I'm glad it's not every night."

"I envy having something to contribute to the pack."

"But you haven't taken up nearly as much of their time with an abusive vampire ex-boyfriends. It's not exactly an even trade." I smiled ruefully. I still wasn't sure I would term him abusive but it seemed to be the conclusion the pack had come to.

Leah snorted dismissively. "It's been so long since a pack has had a dreamer it's a footnote legend. Pack's are usually three or four wolves. You dreamed that we would need twenty-five." She whistled. "What kind of enemy are we up against that would require twenty-five wolves? We don't have that many young men of the age to turn with what I would expect to be adequate bloodlines. Do we have that men young men carrying the wolf gene? It helps to know that we are in store for that many hungry wolves. We've never had a pack that size in our memory. I believe the largest pack was twelve or fifteen wolves. Really, it's threatening to think of what we'll be facing. But at least we know in advance we will be facing it."

"You really think that dream is a vision of the future? I thought it was just a possible future. Or maybe metaphorical." I gave her an imploring look.

"You don't want to face down Edward." She stated knowingly.

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Yep." She said emphasizing the p sound as she leaned back on the counter.

"It's not just that though. Like you said what kind of threa-." I paused and dropped my cup as my stomach dropped.

"Bella?" Leah asked. A shiver ran through me.

"But why?" I asked her. Jacob and Sam came over.

"Why what Bella? What's the matter? Leah, what happened?" Asked Sam.

"We were asking ourselves what threat could make twenty-five wolves phase. Then she dropped her cup and asked _Why? _blankly."

"I might be wrong, but I think I know who those people were in the dream fighting the wolves. I just can't imagine why they would have Edward and Alice or why they would come here." Leah hit me in the arm. My eyes snapped to her inquisitively.

"Well don't keep us in suspense dumby, spit it out!" She said incredulously.

"Carlisle, the doctor. I have hazy memory of him telling Jasper how he was taken under the wing of a powerful group of vampires in Italy. They keep law and order amongst vampires. Jasper wanted to know more about them. They were showing up in Alice's visions."

Jacob looked confused. "Why would the bloodsuckers talk let you hear this?"

"I was always preoccupied with Edward. I was little more than a Nanny cam. Rosalie thought I was creepy."

"Alice? She has visions. Carlisle admitted that Edward could hear minds. He didn't mention visions." Jared sought clarity.

"Huh? I don't know." I shrugged.

Jared looked frustrated. Sam and Leah smiled at each other.

"Jared, what are you getting mad about?" Leah seemed thrilled. "Bella just gave us something we've never had before. A behind the scenes glimpse into the days and lives of our dear Cullen coven. Or even any coven for that matter. We'll have to work with our Nanny cam to see what else she recorded." Leah waggled her eyes at me conspiratorially. I couldn't hold back a smile.

Now the rest of them were grinning like idiots right along with us.

"Bella, don't take this the wrong way. I wish you didn't get all messed up in the process. But I'm feeling grateful that you got moon-eyed on the bloodsucker." Paul announced. Jacob smacked him upside the head.

"Dreamer and Nanny Cam. A woman of many passive talents." I muttered reluctantly.

It was a long day at school and I looked out the window of the main entry doors. I saw Jared and Jake in Sam's truck holding up the exit from the parking lot. I swung the school door open and felt a smile spread across my face.

"Bella," Lauren taunted. I jerked to a stop. "What's that four boys in a few weeks? When did sweet perfect little Bella start collecting notches on her bedpost?"

My smile dropped and I rushed to the truck trying to hide my blush. I didn't miss her lips curling back in a sneer. She thoroughly enjoyed that. Jared drove away with a questioning look on his face, as though waiting for me to do something. I shook my head.

"Are you going to take that from her Bella?" Asked Jacob.

I ignored him and looked at the ground.

"When you were a kid, you had the best come backs. I watched you take on the twins alone, albeit quietly. I'm a little disappointed here." Jacob said sadly.

"We could say something." Jared offered.

"Please-Don't-It will make her worse when you're not there. I have to figure this out on my own. You can't follow me around school every day ready to defend me from her. I will figure this out."

Jacob looked at me hesitantly.

"I hope so Bella. She has no right to speak to you like that."

Jared was clearly doubtful that I would do anything.

I noticed the trees standing together like giant soldiers lining the either side of the road driving home. As if the trees were standing guard over us. They had seemed alien when I first moved to forks, but the dreams they had become very familiar. Taha Aki had been bringing me memories of these lands of previous generations in my dreams. The land rose and fell and changed with the centuries. But the most significant features changed. The most significant features had of course been in the last sixty years. I had begun to know the general lay of the land. Not just from the roads but having seen it from before the roads. I still didn't know the land the way the wolves knew. The land was simply being pieced together in my dreams. Some of the turn-offs were places that I knew. With familiarity bred contentment. It was becoming home.

After admonishments and teasing from the guys, Billy and Quil when I told them about my first encounter with Taha Aki, I had been stiff and respectful towards him the next dream he made his presence known. But he hadn't wanted reverence from me. He had explained my role as Dreamer. I was told that it was not for the other's knowledge so much as my own. I felt better knowing what expectations were being made for me.

Jared dropped us off at my house. Charlie had left a message that he would be home late. I was tired from losing sleep every other night.

"I'm sorry Jake, would you mind if I took a nap on the couch please? I don't know if you want to do your homework and wait for me or go home. I just want to catch the sleep while Charlie isn't home. He's starting to wonder why I'm tired.

"No, I'm happy to have the tv to myself for once." Jacob brushed off my concern.

As if on cue, the moment my head touched the couch cushion I was transported to a village by the beach. _Children played while the adults set about their business. Taha Aki motioned me to the shore where he stood beside a woman. I came forward. As if stepping out from a photograph, he smiled and pointed to her. _

"_Keenah, my third wife. My mate." _

"_She's beautiful."I complimented and it was true. She had a strong body like Leah, with full features and with eyes that danced. When she looked at me, it felt as though she were embracing me in a hug of friendship._

"_I lived for many life times and replaced two wives when they had completed full lives. Keenah, could not be replaced. Your mate would not be able to replace you. Would you like to see your mate? You can wait for the events to unfold or see what he will bring you. I show you too much death. It is time I show you one of the things our wolves are fighting for." He smirked. The way he looked at me made me tremble. I thought carefully. Taha Aki seemed to find humour in delivering messages loudly. There was nothing gentle about this man in my experience. Would he show me the love of my life getting hurt? I had seen a good many of his men getting hurt. _

"_I can't help but be offended Dreamer. I can show you happy times, not just sadness." He frowned and I immediately wished I hadn't thought that. _

"_Show me."A mischievous smile I didn't recognize curled his lips up._

_I was on my back, my body in ecstasy as I gripped the wrists of my love bracing his weight over me with his hands either side of me. I'd lost all control wrapped up in an orgasm without prelude crashed over me. I gazed at his face in shock, wonderment and joy. He watched my face in adoration and pleasure. I heard my cries of bliss ring out abandoning containment. I felt him stiffen and release as though my cries triggered him. The rush of wonderful feelings throughout my body was overwhelming and I was just starting to recover when I heard Taha Aki's voice._

"_Don't accuse me of lacking a sense of humour again."_

My cries of pleasure were still escaping my lips, laying with my back against the couch, my body writhing and my hands on my head when I woke up. My body was on fire and it felt great. Reality jolted me and I stopped immediately, my eyes flying open. My hair was dishevelled in my hands and peeking through

the mess I saw Jacob standing over me, wide-eyed and breathless. It looked like a tent was attempting to form in his pants.

I blushed and jumped closing my legs feeling wetness seeping through my panties to my jeans.

"Oh God, sorry Jake. What did I do?" I cringed.

"If those are the types of dreams you have Bella, I've got to tell you that I'm jealous and I don't feel bad that you don't get a lot of sleep anymore."

I didn't look up as I groaned feeling mortified.

"What did I say?"

"You said 'she's beautiful.' Then you said 'show me'. And then you looked like you were having an awesome time all by yourself on that couch." Jacob sounded excited. "You're having wet dreams about girls!" He broke out laughing. I definitely didn't want to see the look on his face.

"Well ha, ha." I said sarcastically. My body was cooling off and I was grateful to feel my heart slow down to rest.

"What's that about Bella?"

"He told me not to accuse him of lacking a sense of humour again. I suppose humiliation is revenge." I got up to go to my room as I kept my eyes to the floor. I felt Jacob's arms wrap around me.

"Oh don't be like that Bella. I've gotta say that I enjoyed the show. But you can't hide in your room forever. Let's get dinner." He suggested. I looked up into his warm smile that felt like it was embracing me in a hug of friendship.

"Keenah's smile!" He looked confused but I felt a smile brightening my face.

"Taha Aki's third wife, Keenah. You have her smile! He showed me his mate at the beach-." I frowned before continuing what I was going to say. "And then he showed me mine, but not as politely as when he showed me Keenah." Jacob frowned.

"Did you recognize who it was? Tell me who it was."My face blushed again.

"NOBODY!" I blurted out. I ducked away embarrassed and stumbled to the kitchen.

"It was me!" He teased making a game of it. I hid my face pulling fish out of the fridge. I wasn't open to playing his game.

"Go watch tv!" I yelled in a manner similar to telling him to go jump off a bridge.

"Go shopping!" He retaliated in similar fashion with a huge grin.

I made myself busy bringing together ingredients to prepare a meal when I caught him taking his shirt off from the corner of my eye.

"What are you doing?"I asked remembering the naked chest against my bare breasts in my dream.

"You got me hot and bothered watching you like that. I need to cool off a little." He raised his eyebrow with a cocky smile. I was very aware of the expanse of his chest and felt drawn to his nipples, wanting to take them into my mouth and nip on them. I flushed and decided to work with the fish first. It was coldest. I hadn't seen this playful side of his personality before and it was not helping me cool off after my dream. I thought about calculus. There had been a problem that I couldn't figure out earlier today. I concentrated on it, ignoring my hyper awareness of a buff newly turned sixteen year old in my kitchen.

He began to chat about how Embry was doing since fazing for the first time a few days ago. Between focusing on the cooking, calculus and Embry's progress, I banished all thoughts of hot naked sex with a beautiful man. _Oh God!_ Banishing those thoughts just brought a new wave of fantasy. I was thinking about the throbbing sensation of something hard and pulsing as it was slamming in and out of me all over again.

"You're thinking about that dream again!" Jacob laughed. "Did you hear a word I just said?" He laughed some more. "It's a good thing I can't smell how aroused the guys are every time they think about sex. Geez Bella, one track mind." I dropped my elbows on the counter and dropped my face in my hands.

"Can you help me to not think about that damn dream?" I sighed.

"Why would you want to stop? Seems to me it's the most fun I've seen you have." I growled at him.

"Okay, okay. I'll drop it. I promise." After that we engaged in more innocent conversation and went about eating dinner and finishing homework. I was grateful to have the evening return to something more familiar and mundane. I enjoyed the ease and safety of Jacob's easy manner and our usual banter. I saw Jacob out the door at the end of the night.

"I can't wait to show the guys your lesbian sex dream."Jacob grinned once more teasing me before dodging my hand and jogging off into the night. I watched him with my mouth wide open before closing the door. I leaned my back against the front door with a sigh before taking a moment of resolve.

"I'm never talking to Taha Aki again." I pouted and stomped up the stairs.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When I had pack dreams they came more rapidly. They were more vivid than my life. My senses were intensified in these dreams. Each night I hoped to have dreamless sleep or at least my own dreams. The pack dreams were so intense and so much for my mind to process. I didn't have much time to consider my own realities. My own insecurities and fears seemed to be nothing more than interruptions to what the dreams were trying to show me. Until I had this dream came, where my own life, my own dreams were wrapped up in pack dreams. I couldn't tell what the message was, but I knew that buried inside the dream was a message and it was going to have to be interpreted.

_I stood outside my Phoenix home surrounded by the land and forest of my home in Forks under the night sky. Three figures entered the clearing. A dark haired male, a blond male and a red headed female. It was too dark to make out much more of them. I watched them drop into a crouch and creep towards me like large predators. This wasn't the past. They were coming. _

"_You smell good." Purred the dark haired man standing to the front of the three. Suddenly, they were swept from my sight. Something had happened too fast for my eyes and terror gripped my heart. A wolf trotted over to me with his tongue hanging out and took a seat next to me in a feigned relaxed manner. He wasn't fooling me. I tried to maintain my composure. I heard crashes and yelps and screams in the woods. The wolf beside me tensed occasionally. I focused on the trees listening to sounds reaching me through the night. I heard something behind me. A pale blonde female hiker collapsed to the ground and Edward appeared in her place standing under the kitchen light. I watched him licking moist blood from his lips. His eyes were red. The world shifted under me. _

_The pool was refreshingly clear and Olympic sized. I didn't recognize the time or the place. The pool was in a great glass hall. All walls, floor, bottom of the pool and ceiling were glass. I could see the blue sky above and around me. And I saw the world far below me through the glass floor and looking down through the bottom of the pool. I dove in the delicious cool water. I swam laps, my heart beating harder and harder dragging myself with my arms and pushing myself with my legs. I wore a black one piece swim suit, my long brown hair was tied at the nape of my neck. I grew warmer while enjoying the water cooling me off from my exertions. I reached the edge, ducked, twisted and sprang my feet against the side of the pool. I enjoyed the rush of water and speed as I sliced through the water, stretching out my body fully before gulping a breath and propelling my body through the water again. _

_The blue sky began to fill with gray clouds. The water darkened and began to look purple. The clouds darkened and filled the sky. The water began to look crimson and the scent of chlorine gave way to copper. I reached the edge, ducked, twisted and sprang my feet against the side of the pool. The clouds began to look black and a storm struck up with dramatic lightning striking outside. I wasn't swimming in diluted water anymore. I was swimming in blood. I reached the edge, ducked, twisted and sprang my feet against the side of the pool. Wind began to blow the clouds past the hall, blocking any view of the world below the great glass hall. The blood made me feel sick, but I focused on breathing in time with my front crawl. The glass began to shake under the high winds, the lightning was striking with little time between flashes and the thunder became one long great roar. Like boulders racing down a mountain. I reached the edge, ducked, twisted and sprang my feet against the side of the pool. _

_The windows smashed around me under the hammering wind and I stopped swimming to survey the damage. Glass floated in the blood. I finally began to swim to the edge of the pool. A hand grabbed my ankle from below me. I couldn't see through the blood who the hand belonged to. I kicked furiously to keep my head above the blood but realized I had to find a way to escape the hand or I wouldn't live. I took a deep breath in and ducked my head into the blood to follow the arm of the hand to the body. I found a face. I began punching the face with all my might. I pounded on their face with my fists and my feet again and again. Finally, they released my ankle and I thrashed through the blood to find the surface and gasped for air. _

_Immediately, the blood receded returning to chlorinated water. The storm passed to show a blue sky. A body drifted at the bottom of the pool. I recognized the young blonde hiker that Edward had drained. I plunged down into the water yanking on her arm. She was stuck. I followed her body to the lowest point. One foot was stuck in a glass drain at the bottom of the pool. I freed her foot and dragged her to the surface. I scrambled to get her onto the edge of the pool but she was too heavy for me. I saw her face and winced seeing the damage that I had inflicted on her. I saw the bruises, the bloody nose and her lifeless body that I couldn't get out of the water. The guilt was overpowering. _

_"Edward crouched by the edge of the pool watching me. His red eyes were sorrowful. _

"_I'll end this all if you just come to me. No one else has to get hurt. You shouldn't sacrifice others to save yourself Bella." The dream shifted again. _

_"The same girl was alive again thrashing at the edge of the pool. Edward stamped on her hand whenever she clutched at the edge. I swam to her and grabbed her head and heaved my weight down on her pushing her down under the water. She was tiring. Edward and I held adoring eyes at each other. Alice danced around the pool like a graceful fairy. _

"_Or better yet, join me." Edward's intense eyes left the version of me that was swimming and looked into my soul. _

I shot up in bed with my heart pounding. I couldn't tell whether this was my own personal nightmare or a dream for me to share with the pack. It all seemed to hold equal significance to me. My breath was shallow as I gasped for air. I felt horror at the idea that I might be the cause of the death of others. I had to get outside. I had to breathe. I was a monster!

I jumped up ripping the bedding from my body. I stumbled to the door and pulled it open before running down the stairs, miraculously without hurting myself. I ran for the back door. No wolves. No figures at the woods. I felt the presence of the dead woman and guilt yanked me back to the dream. I ran to escape its cold hand and brushed away the image of a hand pulling on my shoulder. I ran without a direction in mind. I only wanted to get away from my dream. I wore short cotton shorts and a fitted t-shirt. But I didn't feel the cold of the March weather. I was numb to the branches scraping my body and the rocks and twigs cutting my feet. I tripped and bruised myself. But I kept running.

"Bella! What are you doing?" Embry demanded. I could just make out his figure but the clearest thing I could make out was his anger with me. His voice jerked me back to reality. I wasn't being actively chased by my dream anymore but it was still firmly planted in my mind. An enormous tree was ominously hanging over me.

"People are going to die and it's all my fault! If I'm a good person, I should hand myself over and no one has to get hurt!" I wailed. I sat on the wet ground feeling tears on my cheeks. "She was dead. I sacrificed her when I didn't offer myself to him or to them? And then I was helping him! Maybe it's the three figures I should be going to? Who should I be going to Embry?" I asked him feeling confused. "Would the four of them share me?" His posture softened.

"From the sounds of things, even if you did hand yourself over, there's not enough of you to go around. I suggest you tell Sam about what you saw and let us do our jobs Bella." He helped me back to my feet. I sensed the early part of my dreams.

"They're here already. In Forks. You don't have enough wolves or enough age to instead of a lot of wolves yet. I don't know if it's too late."

"Scary dream huh? I think we should go straight to Sam's. If it might be too late, I don't think it should wait until morning." He stood away from me. I heard a wolf cry feet away from me. I held a tree for support. Embry returned still in wolf form and lowered himself to the ground swinging his head to the side.

"You want me to climb onto your back?" I asked cautiously.

He yipped.

"Is that such a good idea?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know what that meant. These are perfectly valid fears even if I did date a vampire." I sighed before pulling myself over his back. I felt him gradually build speed up. I held tightly to the fur around his neck and tucked my face into his fur. He smelled similar to Jake. Only minty. I focused on these distractions rather than on the dream.

Sam sat at his kitchen table while Leah began to brew a pot of coffee when we walked through the door. I admired Leah's silk rose pink dressing gown with beautiful black forest silhouettes creeping up from the bottom hem.

"So, this dream was that bad?" Asked Sam.

"The lines were blurred. Usually, I _know_ the difference between a pack dream and my dreams. I couldn't tell where one of my nightmares began and where the pack dream was happening. But I _know_ that there was a pack dream and message somewhere in the dream. It just really sucks that my own private stuff is wrapped up in pack stuff. I liked my stuff private." I grumbled.

Embry and Sam exchanged looks.

"We don't get any privacy Bella. We have a deeper understanding of losing privacy than you can imagine. Now, tell us the dream." Sam commanded stoically. Leah took a seat at the table.

"My house in Phoenix stood in place of my house in Forks." I began. "It was night time and three figures stepped into the clearing. A dark haired man, a blond male and a red haired female. They prepared to attack me when they disappeared from my view and one of you sat beside me. I heard wolves and vampires crashing in the woods. Edward dropped a blonde hiker behind us and he licked blood from his lips. His eyes were red.

"Then I saw a big pool in a transparent glass building from floor below to the ceiling. A blue sky stretched out above and around me. The world was far below me. I swam laps. The sky stormed as my body worked harder and the water changed colour. The glass shook under the storm and the water turned to blood and I continued swimming. The glass shattered all around me and I swam to the edge. A hand grabbed my foot. I went down into the water to beat the person holding me back with my hands and feet, scared that they would drown me. They finally let go and the water became clear again. The hiker Edward fed from was floating at the bottom of the pool. I found her foot caught in a drain and freed her pulling her up to air. I tried to pull her out of the water but she was too heavy for me. Edward was at the edge looking sad with red eyes. He said: "I'll end this all if you just come to me. No one else has to get hurt. You shouldn't sacrifice others to save yourself Bella."

"Then I saw the girl alive again in the same pool but Edward wasn't allowing her to pull herself out and I was dragging her under water. We were enjoying the moment together." I shuddered. "Alice was prancing around. Edward said: "Or better yet, join me." And then it felt like he looked at my soul. That's when I woke up and realized that I'm a monster." I said with conviction.

"You'll only be a monster if you join Edward." Leah said calmly as she pulled her hair back from her face. The room was quiet.

"Are these the sort of dreams you usually have?" Asked Embry.

"Like I said, it's a combination of my nightmares with pack dreams. It's all a little bit of both" I said offhandedly.

"What were the repeating themes?" Asked Sam.

"Themes?" I asked.

"What have you seen in your own dreams before and what have you seen in pack dreams before?" He clarified.

"The wolves and vampires and Edward and Alice appear in both my pack dreams and nightmares and dreams. I haven't dreamed of swimming before. At least, not that I remember. But pack dreams are usually in nature or in the past. Not much is in the future. But the way Edward spoke to me, isn't like from my own dreams. It was the same way I receive messages in pack dreams. I don't recognize the pool or being in the sky. But my dreams create these sorts of things. My nightmares would carry pools of blood. I hate the smell of blood. One of my worst nightmares is getting my loved ones hurt or killed. But this was a stranger. But watching loved ones hurt and killed happen in pack dreams as well. I wish I could do a better job of pulling this dream apart from you." I thought wistfully aloud.

We discussed the dream more for a few minutes and quickly decided to meet with the elders and tell them about it. I was relieved that they didn't seem to think that I was a psychotic murderer based on my nightmare.

Two days later, I saw the blonde back packer. I didn't recognize her at first. I was dragged to a coffee shop with Angela, Mike and Eric after school. I spoke briefly with Jake to let him know what was happening. We ordered drinks and took seats around a fire place on couches. A young man took a seat beside me and I looked around in surprise.

"Charlie, you're not supposed to be back until March break." Mike groaned painfully embarrassed.

"Who's this?" A feminine voice asked.

I took a second look. She was quite pretty, but dressed in a baseball hat and dressed very much like a guy. She had long skinny limbs and was nearly six foot tall.

"Charlotte this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is my sister, back from college. Shouldn't you be off giving more things the good old fashioned college try Charlie." His was dark and his eyes narrowed on her. I'd never stopped to think of my father's name as a girls nick name before. This would take some getting used to.

"Dad sent me down to get you. You need to cover the store. He doesn't trust me anymore." She pouted her lips and gave him a puppy dog look. It occurred to me, she was going to die. In my dream, I saw her die three different ways. I had to stay with her. Make sure that she lived. The pack protected me. If I stayed with her, they would protect her.

Mike begrudgingly said his goodbyes. Charlotte quickly settled in and held my attention. She was talkative and witty and endearing. Angela and Eric settled into year book discussions. I felt Charlotte lean closer into me. Soon her fingers had strayed to my hair and she was playing with the ends. It was so natural but at the same time I was aware how I wouldn't ordinarily allow this behaviour.

Her chatter began to fall into stories from school and I found myself laughing and enjoying her company.

"Bella, we have to get going now." Eric called gently.

"Oh no, I'll drive her back." Charlotte grinned.

"Oh my, it's late. I have to call Charlie." I saw the time on the wall. It was after dinner time.

"Charlie?" Charlotte asked.

"Charlie Swan. My Dad." Charlotte recognized the name. I called Charlie, he was home sick, calling an early night. I asked if it was okay if I brought Mike's sister over to visit as she quickly wrote my script on a napkin. She seemed to be inserting herself into my life. It reminded me of something. But somehow, I didn't mind. I didn't have anything to worry about right now. And I told myself, while she was with me, she was safe. For some reason, thoughts of my truck escaped me. I was happy to ride along listening to her music in her beaten old Pontiac Sunfire.

We entered the house and the tone changed. Charlie was snoring upstairs. I started coffee and she told a funny story about breaking into school to use the AV departments' equipment after hours and being chased down by security. She led the way back to the living room and we sat together on the couch. She put on a lifetime movie and continued talking. Our conversation started to slow down as I sensed her watching me. As though she were making a decision or measuring me. I enjoyed not having to talk very much and the ease with which she kept the stream of the conversation. I didn't notice her moving in closer to me. I don't know when she put her hand on my thigh, but I noticed her begin to stroke my leg. Her fingers were in my hair stroking the back of my neck. I told myself that this should feel uncomfortable and weird. I should be upset. But her touch was soothing. My attention was quickly drawn back to talk of a professor she and her friends had been tormenting. I was laughing and hanging over her shoulder by my arm when I felt that she was watching me. Our faces were inches away from each other. She leaned in towards me and met her lips to mine.

I felt two reactions playing against each other. Wanting to jerk away and wanting to press myself against her. I expected wanting to jerk away. But the comfort of being in her warm arms was surprising. My breath hitched and I held still.

"Relax." She breathed into my ear as her hands caressed my sides and her soft moist lips brushed my ear. "You can stop or call upstairs at any time." She pointed out. I felt myself melting into her kisses, her hands began working my body, making me pliable. I slowly responded back to her mouth on mine. She tasted like sweet spring water. I felt myself lose focus in her arms and just felt her experienced hands on my body. I suspected that this was a game to her. I didn't mind. It felt gorgeous. Her steel gray eyes brought a tingle up my neck. Her eye lashes were short but with her soft knowing eyes, she didn't need long eyelashes. She lay me back on the couch and her shoulder length hair came free from her baseball hat. I felt her golden locks on my skin. I was in a mid state of undress as she plied my breasts. I became aware of her fingers in my moist folds and groaned into her mouth. As if spurred on, I heard her breathing increase in rapidly. My hands held her breasts as she draped over my body and I felt my body tighten and build. Cries emitted from us both and grew in intensity. A loud cry erupted, from whom I couldn't say.

In split seconds the front door flew open. "Bella! What's wrong? I heard cries!" Jacob and Embry rushed through the door. I hid my face in Charlotte's shoulder as her saw her smirk and bring her dampened fingers to her mouth. She was mostly clothed. I heard Charlie stumbling down the stairs.

"What is this racket? What time is it? _Oh!_" I peeked up. Charlotte and stood up and was handing me items of clothing before pulling a blanket over me. Charlie's face was bright red and Jacob and Embry were torn between feeling that they should look away but at the same time should be looking.

"No more lesbian sex dreams huh Bella?" Embry chuckled. A look of a kid that just woke up Christmas morning spread over Jacobs face.

"I'm so glad you approved." I grabbed clothes and ran past them to my room. I heard Charlotte downstairs.

"Well, this is awkward. I'll head home."

I felt bad that she wouldn't be with me and therefore wouldn't be under the packs protection. But I was too embarrassed to do anything for her. I got ready for bed and tried my hardest to ignore the sounds downstairs.

There was a knock at my door.

"Come in."

"Bells, I ... didn't ... know that you ... liked women ..." He shook his head as I began to protest. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I entirely understand being attracted to women. I know that feeling. But the rules still kind of apply. You may be a little young for sex Bella." He nodded at me seeking acknowledgement. I nodded back to him. He cleared his throat and gave a small encouraging smile before closing the door. I laid back in the bed and huffed.

"I'm never going to live this down." I whispered. I screamed into my pillow. My thoughts recalled, Charlotte wasn't the man in my vision of my mate. I wasn't sure what happened, but I was reasonably sure that I preferred men. I tried to go to sleep.

By the next afternoon Charlotte was dead.

**A/N: I don't know if the dream sequence is too violent. I just used a PG version of a recurring nightmare I used to have. I wanted her nightmare to express guilt and this seemed to fit in nicely. Let me know if you think it's too much. **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**A/N: I received a couple of questions about Bella's sexuality. In my experience, there is a scale of homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual. We all fit somewhere on that scale. I don't have to pick a team for Bella. **

The sky was deceptively sunny in the morning, I felt a chill in the air from outside. I sat up with a smile on my face. Until I remembered my body shuddering under a woman's hands and moans reaching my ears before our moment being invaded by testosterone. _Holy Crow!_ I hadn't thought that anyone would see that. To be honest with myself, I hadn't been doing much thinking last night.

Charlotte had made short work of me under her capable hands. After terror at the hands of Phil and Edward, this experience had been so different from anything I had ever known. I couldn't say it had been love. I wondered if it would be just as good or better with Jacob as it had been with Charlotte. I blushed. I shouldn't be thinking about my friend like this. Remembering how he had seen us last night, he would probably never ask me out now. He'd think I was with Charlotte or a slut if I wasn't officially with Charlotte probably. This didn't bode well after Lauren's comments.

_Oh God!_ Would Charlotte let Mike know? Would the whole school know? I expressed my humiliation and fear with a low quiet moan.

I set my shoulders back and determined that I needed to get up and dressed for the day. I came downstairs to find Charlie reading the newspaper with a coffee at the kitchen table. I blushed, he looked up and blushed and went back to reading the paper.

"Good morning Bells,"

"Morning Dad."

We avoided eye contact from this point onwards. I made toast and poured myself a glass of orange juice. I had no idea what Charlie must be thinking now and I didn't want to know. I still didn't know what had possessed me to be intimate with Charlotte. I tried not to dwell on it as it brought on new rounds of blushes. This was just as hard as I imagined it would be. Charlie headed out to run errands for his Saturday morning.

I was washing breakfast dishes when there was a knock on the front door. I finished rinsing off the last utensil before drying my hands and walking to the front door.

I opened the door to find Jacob standing behind it with an amused smile.

"Clothes back on, hair in place, where are you hiding her Bella?" I threw the door closed, spun on my heel and stumbled back towards the kitchen instinctively ducking my head to hide my blush. I heard the door swing back open and Jacob walking down the hall.

"Oh don't be like that Bells! I was behaving! After what Embry had to say last night, I know I could have said so much worse!" He laughed at me. My blush grew.

"What did he say?!" I demanded, coming close to Jacobs face. He shifted uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck while avoiding eye contact.

"Geez Bells, I'm not sure you want to hear it." My head was reeling. I took a seat.

"It's really that bad isn't it?"

"Come on Bells, girls can get away with that stuff. You should be wearing this like a badge of honour." He nodded at me solemnly. "First you make out with a vampire, now you're rounding the bases with a girl, you really get into the freaky stuff Bella." He noted.

"I think I'm gonna throw up when you put it like that."

"Don't worry about it. Leah's invited you over." He told me with a huge grin. "I wonder what she wants and I wonder if I should be bringing a digital recorder." He said it as if he were day dreaming.

I wondered if his reaction was the worst case scenario or if he could humiliate me more.

"That's it, no more sexual innuendos!" I declared. "I messed up. I know."

"Messed up?" He asked with clear disappointment. "Are you suggesting that there won't be a repeat performance? What went wrong? Did you forget to get her phone number?" Then with mock urgency. "Don't tell me you forgot her name?! Bella, you player!"

For a second I was going to retort that her name was Charlie. But I realized that would start something else. I started stammering before giving him a stern look in exasperation. He was enjoying this. I held up my index finger to him before I picked up the phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Leah? It's Bella."

"_Hi Bella, I heard you had a good night cut short."_ I heard a small growl escape my lips.

"Yeah, that's what I'm calling about. Jacob's over here and he's probably going to be the best behaved out of the pack and I'm about to crawl into a hole and die. Can you help me define limits with the boys today? I'll help make a nice lunch." I crossed my fingers praying she would be willing to help. She was quiet for a moment before sighing.

"_I don't know, it would be a nice change to have the object of their sexual innuendos shift from me to you Bella."_ I heard humour in her voice. If I hadn't heard the humour, I probably would have sobbed. _"Relax, I'll see what we can do. I'll start work with Sam. Being the pack dreamer must count for something."_ She tried to reassure me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Leah, you are a real friend. Thank you so much for helping me with this! I don't even have drugs or something to blame this on. I just didn't think it through." I could kick myself now.

"_Let's start there. Bella, it would help if you stopped giving them material. I wouldn't be making comments around the boys if I were you." _I thought about this.

"You're right Leah. Don't give the boys material. Thank you. What time should I come over?"

"_Well I'm expecting some guys here for noon. So if you're here for twelve we can have something on by twelve thirty?"_

"Can I get there before the guys do so we can have a chance to talk?"

"_That's fine Bella. I'll see you soon. Sam, no! You just had breakfast..." _She hung up.

"You think you can put a nice face on this?" Jacob asked with a wide smile.

"Out!" I pointed to the door as though I were ordering a dog around.

"I'll play nice. I'm sorry. Can I help you with anything?"

He marginally improved, especially as I stopped commenting and feeding him material.

It was just Sam and Leah when I arrived at their place with Jacob in tow. Sam looked uncomfortable and Leah looked bemused.

"Bella, that was not the behaviour I expect from our dreamer. I just expect-" Leah cut him off.

"Give it a rest Sam. She let her hair down for one night and any normal girl wouldn't have guys breaking down their door when there were cries and moans coming from the house. Besides, are you suggesting that Bella can't date girls?" Leah questioned him. He stammered. "You two go play while we get lunch ready and talk." Sam and Jacob were playing video games immediately. Cooking was therapeutic. It kept my hands busy so that they didn't flail and give me away. We brought the things Jacob and brought from the truck into the kitchen.

"Do I get to hear how you got involved with this girl? Should I be concerned that you're going to hit on me Bella?" Leah asked.

"I go to school with her younger brother. I don't know what happened. Anything sexual before has been in the context of a relationship where I was being controlled. She just made me feel good and like I was in control. It was a new context for me." I began browning beef for taco's. I had considered chicken, but the guys seemed to prefer red meat.

"That sounds like a step in the direction of healthy relationships to me." She commented.

"You think so?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Shame it wasn't at least with a guy." I moaned.

"With which guy? One of the pack? Look, never mind. I've spoken with Sam, he agrees that the pack needs to respect you and thinking about it further you are a young woman and you have a right to experiment. Just keep in mind, they are teenage boys."

She continued to chat about school and other things happening around the Rez. We were just setting out the taco's on the table when the guys showed up.

"Bella!" They chorused through the house as they showed up. I ducked into the kitchen.

"You fulfilled Embry's fantasies and you don't want to take credit for it?" Paul smirked. Embry didn't shy away from being called out in the least.

"If only we'd waited a few more minutes! We could have seen them in a sixty-nine position!" Embry yelled.

"Sixty-nine?" I whispered to Leah. A round of laughter met my question.

"Bella, you know they heard that right?" Asked Leah.

"Bella, I'll be more than happy to coach through lesbian relationships." Embry offered. It was too much. I shot out of the kitchen and ran outside and kept running.

"Don't be embarrassed, it was beautiful!" Embry yelled.

Jacob caught up to me and gently tugged on my arm. I came to a stop and kept my eyes on the ground, breathing heavily.

"Come back to the house. We'll make Embry apologize. It's just that you're the first girl he's known to even remotely fulfill this fantasy he's had in his head since junior high. And you went further than he could have hoped for." He chuckled.

"Shouldn't he be the one that's embarrassed? Everyone knows his fantasy now."

"We all know each other's fantasies Bella." I squirmed under the subject matter.

"Come back to the house before the food is all gone." He whined. I took his offered hand and tucked myself behind him a little as we approached the house.

Just as we walked in a howl rang out. The guys shovelled the food they had in their hands in their mouths and took off out the door.

"There are three of them." I said to Sam. I was sure they were the three from the dream even if I didn't know how I knew.

Awareness lit his eyes and acknowledged me before giving Leah a kiss goodbye.

"Was that Jared howling?" I asked Leah. She nodded.

"Now we have to sit here and worry about them." I whined.

"Be grateful you're not out there with them." She admonished me. Truth be told, I would have preferred to be out there with them.

I helped wash up most of the dishes from lunch. There was still a little food left over that we wrapped up. We settled in and watched a romantic comedy that neither of us were paying attention to. Our ears were listening outside as we exchanged concerned looks. It was comforting to have someone to sit and worry with me. Soon we were pacing the front porch together.

The sun was coming down as Paul and Sam approached the house. They avoided eye contact with me.

"I'm sorry Bella, Jared came to a hiking trail and found three bloodsuckers you described on a woman. I don't know her name, but we recognized her from Embry and Jacob seeing her last night at your house. She was already dead." Explained Sam. "I'm sorry we were too late."

"We did take out the dark haired one easily enough and killed the red head trying to protect the blond one. The blond one is still on the loose. I'm really sorry Bella. We will get him for you." Paul tried to offer. I ran to the edge of the porch and threw up.

"I knew yesterday, I needed to stay close to her. So she didn't die because I figured if I stayed near her, she would be under your protection. Then I decided last night when I was embarrassed not to stay with her anymore. If I hadn't been so self-centered she'd be alive right now. I knew she was in danger." I was rambling.

"What are you talking about Bella?" Asked Sam.

"She was the blonde from my nightmare. That's why I was spending time with her. I was trying to stay close and she got really close. It's just like the nightmare. I took care of myself instead of protecting her." Leah hugged me as I cried.

I really was a monster. I put my feelings ahead of someone else's life. I must never make that mistake again. I sobbed. Charlotte had been special. She had shown me how things could be. She was in college ready to start her life. I ruined everything. How would I face Mike knowing what I had done? I heard them trying to tell me it wasn't my fault. They told me that the leeches did it. But if I knew what was going to happen, it was my job to stop it from happening.

Leah had to leave but Jacob offered me a shoulder to cry on. And I clung to him.

"Bella, I called your Dad and he said it was okay if you stayed over for the night with me." Leah told me.

I dried my eyes and thanked her.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Jacob asked. I took his hand and we headed outside. We walked quietly in the dark for a few minutes.

"Would you tell me about her?" He asked me. I watched his silent steps and heard my feet kicking up loose twigs and pine needles as each foot stumbled along. I took a deep breath as I held his hand and I closed my eyes. I thought about what it was that had struck me about her.

"She's witty, smart and just so comfortable. When she was kissing me, my brain was telling me she's a girl. But she's just so different. Her personality was attractive. She was pretty I suppose, but it was her that I liked. Does that make any sense?" He nodded.

"It sounds like we missed out on getting to know her."

"I think you missed out." I confirmed. "I learned so much about her in such a short time. She told me all about her life and I felt like I had known her for months in a matter of hours. She is, I mean was nothing like her brother. It seems hard to believe that they were related." I laughed nervously. "I could see the relation in the hair and some of their face. But that was about it." I sighed before coming to a stop. "I knew it was coming. The warning was pretty accurate. There wasn't much to interpret. It just seemed to be connected to my life rather than pack life that I was confused by the dream. I was so selfish and made such a huge mistake. The next time I see someone die in my dreams I'm going to hang onto them for dear life." I looked up at him as if showing him my sincerity could bring her back or his opinion could absolve me of my responsibility.

He smiled at me. "Bella that could add up to a lot of people over time. How are you going to bring them all home and keep them at your house? Are you going to have sex with all of them? You can't save them all. We can't save them all. We do our best. With your warning, we knew that there were three of them and that helped. That's two less bloodsuckers to hurt the world and soon to be three less bloodsuckers. They weren't all together when we found them. The red head snuck up on us. Knowing she was near helped us do our jobs. You made a difference even if it didn't work out the way we would have hoped. Just think if you hadn't seen her in the dream, you wouldn't have taken the time to know her. She would have been a faceless victim to the pack." He explained earnestly.

I could see he was right. "I'm glad that I kissed her and that other stuff. Before, the only two people who kissed me were Edward and Phil. I hated Phil and it was so controlled with Edward. She showed me something that I had never felt before. I hadn't stopped to think that there was something better. I want to feel that way again when I'm ready. I wouldn't have known to want that without her showing it to me." These thoughts helped ease the guilt and grief. They didn't heal me or take it away. But they had value. "Thank you Jacob. You're good at listening to me." I smiled at him and just made out his face under the moonlight.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that Bells. Let's get you back inside." I felt a small shiver go through me at that thought and he wrapped a warm arm around me, pulling me into his side.

I wished I could have been in the woods and helping fight the vampires. I wished I was strong enough and fast enough to keep my friends out of danger. I didn't want to sit inside being scared for them. I felt Jacob's body beside me. All of the fear and worry while he was out fighting came back to me.

"Can you stay with me tonight Jake? I don't want to be alone."

Jacob paused midstride and thought for a second.

"Sure thing Bells, let me just call Billy and check with Sam first."

An hour later, we lay on the guest bed in the guest room face to face. I stared at him, studying his face. I could feel his breath on my face and my breath reflecting off him.

"What are you looking at?" He gently asked me.

"You're safe. Waiting with Leah is scary. I'm so scared of you and the others getting hurt. Every night, you are running patrols. I worry if someone is going to find a vampire and get hurt or die. It's stressful. Right now, I can look at you and know that you're safe. I like it." I heard a soft rumble in his chest as he laughed.

"You should have more faith in us Bella. Your lack of confidence in our abilities is a little insulting."

"If I had the same abilities as you and I was out fighting and you were sitting at home, I think you would be scared too." I said tensely.

"Touche." He acknowledged. He stroked my hair. "Now, you don't have to worry about at least one of us. Go to sleep Bells." I must have been tired or his touch was relaxing. I fell asleep almost as soon as I closed my eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_An alarm blared in my ear. My hand fumbled around my bedside table to switch it off. Monday morning._

_Glass smashed a short distance away from me and my heart pounded in my chest. Panic and adrenalin surged through my body. _

"_Good morning dear." An unfamiliar voice belonging to a blond man greeted me from my window sill. I couldn't scream. My body wanted to run, but where to? His blood red eyes told me that there was nowhere to run to. I willed myself to exhibit defiance. _

"_Good morning dickwad." It was the filthiest name I could think to call him at seven in the morning. He lost the smile on the face, clearly disappointed with my response. He lunged for me as I fell backwards off my bed. He'd caught me before I hit the ground and threw me against the wall. It felt like my body had exploded and I couldn't see for a moment. _

"_Wrong answer?" I asked dispassionately. "Where's your girlfriend?" I hoped my face was a smirk and not the terror that I was feeling. Hopefully he killed me before Jacob or the others got here. I didn't want them to get hurt. My vision came back and I caught a blurry sight of him crouched over me excitedly. A familiar throbbing pain met me. Yep, I broke a few bones again. Being accident prone, I was familiar with that pain. I saw too much blood. I wasn't sure, but I saw what looked like a limb on the floor. What did I lose? I felt sick. _

"_My mate? She's dead. I'm James by the way." He offered a twisted smile. "I _will_ make you scream before you die. Fuck, you smell good." A black wolf and a gray wolf shot into the room lunging at James. _

_He attempted to take off Paul's head before the wolves came down on him. _

_I was silent, trying to take in the scene. I broke down into a ball of nerves crying my eyes out. It was as if I could watch myself having a hysterical breakdown but I knew the danger was over if I could just manage not to bleed to death._

"Bella! Wake-up!" Charlie shook me. I heard my voice screeching before suddenly halting.

"Dad?" I asked.

"It was just a bad dream. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am now. Sorry." I mumbled. I managed to take a look at my clock, five am Monday morning. _Two hours!_ This was before the time Charlie gets ready for work. I must have woken him up.

"No need to apologize. Go back to sleep okay?" I shook my head. That dream had felt so real.

"No, I'm not going to fall back to sleep after that. How about I make some breakfast? You're getting up soon anyway." Charlie shrugged and headed out of the room. I trod downstairs feeling very awake. Adrenalin was still coursing through my veins. Should I tell Sam? If James came after me and I kept my mouth shut, he wouldn't put the pack at risk. But then, at some point the pack would pick up the scent and go after him. And how many more people would James feed off of if he wasn't stopped now. We knew a time and a place that he was going to be. I knew what to do then. It seemed counter-intuitive after wishing to keep my friends safe yesterday. But I felt it had to be done. I picked up the phone.

"_Hello?"_ Sam whispered half-conscious.

"Sam. I had a dream that the blond vampire will be here in two hours and will smash through my bedroom window. Do you think you could ask one of the guys to swing by my house and check things out? It seemed pretty real."

"_I'll take care of it."_ He hung up. I felt better immediately. I only wished that I knew the plan.

I brewed a pot of coffee making extra in case whoever was swinging by stopped inside as well. Maybe Jacob would come, I hoped. I fried up bacon and eggs and a side of mushrooms with onions for breakfast. I didn't put the pans away figuring someone might want some once the caught a whiff of it. I saw off Charlie and no sooner had the front door closed than Jacob came in through the back door.

"Please tell me there's more where that came from?" He asked longingly. I smiled and headed back to the kitchen.

"I'd be happy to oblige." I pulled out eggs and bacon from the fridge and heated up the pan again. I worked in silence as he watched.

"Your dream was right. We found his trail a quarter of a mile from your house. Strange that he would focus on you. He should want to avenge his mate's death. We expected him to come after us." I shrugged before placing a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him before passing him cutlery and ketchup.

"The Cullen's said I smelled REALLY good. In the dream he said the same thing. I'm under the impression that I seem to attract them." I heard him drop his fork.

"You attract leeches?" He asked.

"That seems to be something that repeats in pack dreams." I confessed.

"You didn't think this was a major piece of information to keep from us?" He seemed a little angry.

"It's only my pointless existence. If they're attracted to me, they're being distracted from other targets. I think of it has a public service. Besides, it hasn't been directly relevant before." Jacob rubbed his temples as though he were frustrated.

"That's a really stupid martyr move. I'll be right back. I have to let the guys know that you seem to be natural bait." He took off outside through the back door. I wondered if it would be rude to go get ready or if I should stand around and wait until he got back. I decided to go and get ready for school.

CRASH! A window smashed upstairs. I turned and ran for the back door. As I made it through the door I saw giant wolves running at me. I dropped down and held myself in a ball as the fastest way I could think of to get out of the way. Sam's black wolf seemed to clear over my head at the same time as I saw Jacob's russet wolf faze back to himself and sweep me from the group still in a ball shape covering my ears. The other wolves ripped James from the porch and pulled him apart in my backyard amidst screams and metallic shredding sounds punctuated by growls. I was now standing in Jacob's arms with my hands still covering my ears cowering from the sight.

Soon enough they were collecting the remains and heading into the woods. Jacob held me against himself and hushed me. I felt his breath on the top of my head.

I saw the clock from the kitchen read four minutes after seven. That was close.

"I'm sorry I left you in the house alone at seven. He had something planned." He said painfully.

I crazy nervous giggle burst through my mouth. "He's likely had a few centuries experience being a slippery bastard Jake. He would know ALL the tricks. Besides, it helped that you were all here and I wasn't in bed this time."

"This time?"

"I had the dream two hours ago. It felt real. When he got his hands on me it felt like my body exploded and then there were some broken bones, I think I might have lost a limb but I wasn't surveying for damage. It all just hurt." I started to giggle like a crazy person again. "I like being all in one piece. Thank you." I gave the most encouraging nod I could muster. "This morning happened already and it went horribly. Then I woke up again and you guys took care of everything."

Jacob stepped away from me and looked like he was about to dry heave for a moment.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. I didn't mean to upset him. I just wanted to explain my relief and my gratitude. He straightened back up and took a deep breath.

"We would have failed. I just realized that without your phone call, we would have failed. We need to do better."My mouth dropped.

"What are you talking about? You guys are working hard enough as it is. I was going to invite you in and make more breakfast, but I think you need some clothes. Besides, I expect the neighbours called the police. As if on call the sirens started and Sam appeared with dark blue jeans and running shoes.

"Home invasion, you scared them off. I'd already dropped you off and was coming back to get you. I'll be around shortly with my truck." I hid my eyes, Sam was very naked. Jacob chuckled and led me into the house. I sat at the kitchen table and took deep breaths.

We spent the next several hours with the police explaining my cowardly run out to the backyard and Jacob's run upstairs. The police found it mildly amusing that when the man had broken into the chief of police's house, he'd been confronted by a giant Indian. Charlie wasn't amused but was grateful to Jacob. Jacob watched with worry as I struggled through the story. I was still trembling and I was full of nervous laughs, so my lies were assumed to be nerves. Our description of James aligned with descriptions of a man seen around town displaying unusual behaviour. Sam showed up in his truck on time to get me to school and displayed a talent for looking surprised. I knew then that Sam and Jacob had a talent for lying and I'd have to file that away for the future.

I was embarrassed at myself for clinging to Jacob while I was questioned by the police and checked out at the hospital. I just had this cold shadow following me around afterwards. Just opening the door to a stall in the bathroom by myself my mind played tricks on me. Inside I was convinced James would be there and had to hold back shrieks even when I opened the stall and could see that he wasn't there. I still felt like James had attacked me. It seemed so real in my dream and then when he had almost got me at my home, I wasn't entirely sure which scenario was real. Especially as we told the police a third version. Then there was the additional knowledge that Charlotte had died at this man's hand only two days ago. Why her and not me? I was planning on doing something quiet and unassuming with my life. She had much more impactful dreams.

Soon the police were asking me about Charlotte. Apparently she had gone missing after leaving Saturday on a hiking trail. Jacob, Charlie and I fumbled our way through the embarrassing story that they had walked in on me with her and we hadn't seen her again since. They seemed to think that the home invasion was connected to Charlotte's disappearance. It was hard not telling them that they were right.

Charlie drove us home. Jacob sat in the back of his cruiser with me. I rested against him while he murmured stroking my hair. I could feel Charlie watching me through his rear view mirror. Again, I was clinging to Jacob. Again, he was rescuing the damsel in distress. I wished I knew exactly what I did wrong this time. How had I brought this down on myself so I could know to avoid it from happening again?

Charlie parked up at Jacob's house and we got out of the car meeting Billy at the door. Charlie thanked Billy and Jacob for keeping me safe and sounded a little emotional. Billy and Jacob brushed him off casually saying that Jacob was a super hero in training. Rescuing damsels in distress was part of the job description. I choked and coughed trying not to break out into hysterical laughing. Billy and Jacob seemed amused watching me.

Charlie and I said our goodbyes and I sat next to him in the cruiser. We were silent.

"I'm so grateful you're safe. You didn't leave me." Charlie said emotionally. I leaned my head against his shoulder and rested there until we reached home. I slept downstairs on the couch. I didn't want to go in my room.

I had to go into my room the next day to pick out clothing for school and finally use my toiletries. I took a shower and followed routine. Charlie was staying home to have my bedroom window repaired. He told me that I didn't have to go to school. But I was sure the longer I stayed in the house, the bigger the fear of going out in public would be.

He drove me to school. Rumours were flying when I got to school and I was jumpy. Mike Newton was home and Jessica informed me of the details of the rumours. The most popular rumour was that Charlotte had a stalker who had probably raped and killed her on Sunday, who then came for me on Monday and had raped me before being chased off by the brave Indian who gave me rides to school. Now most of the school were wondering if I would keep the baby when I turned up pregnant. How very gothic novel of them. I was quick to explain that while I had been given a fright, I had not been physically harmed. With a blush I admitted that Jacob was already in my house at seven in the morning eating the fried breakfast I was making him. Jessica was thrilled by this detail and Lauren threw triumphant looks as if to say that she had caught me being a whore. After having been mistaken for a rape victim, I preferred Lauren's conclusion that I was a whore strangely enough. I didn't want people to feel too bad for me.

As much as I tried to hide from attention, I received words of encouragement and cards through the day. This still beat staying at home and jumping at every sound. I felt safer around people right now. I tried to redirect attention to Mike Newton. That night, I made a few meals and covered them and brought them over to the Newton's.

My bedroom window had already been repaired and Charlie and cleaned up the glass in my room. I was relieved. I didn't want to relive the moment again. It was bad enough returning to my room. I didn't get a moments sleep that night. Fear held me tightly.

I was too tired to go to school when the sun came up. But I wasn't willing to stay home. I spoke to Charlie and he called Billy. I raised an eyebrow.

"Hey Billy, I'm sorry to bother you but is Jacob still staying off school today?" He paused.

"Don't worry about it then. I just knew that he stayed home yesterday." He was interrupted.

"Well, Bella didn't react well going back to her room last night and didn't sleep. She's not ready for school today but neither of us want her home alone. I can stay home with her. I just thought Jake might be home off school still. But never mind. I'm happy to keep Bells company." He was quiet for a moment.

"You think he'll want to stay home with her?" He asked.

"I would really appreciate that. I would prefer to work on this case and catch who did this. But I don't want her hanging out alone at the scene of the crime. I'll bring her around Billy. Thank you so much." I felt like a little kid who needed babysitting. But I was grateful for a day out of this house.

"Finish getting ready kid. You're hanging out with Jake and Billy today."

Arriving at Jacob's place, I was swept up in Jacob's arms and twirled around.

"I...breathe...please Jake..." He laughed and put me down on my feet carefully.

"I was hoping you'd come visit." Jacob said enthusiastically.

Charlie waved goodbye and we gestured goodbye before heading into the weather red house.

Billy greeted me and then frowned.

"You need sleep." He grunted. "Jake, get on that first."

"Yes sir." Jacob took me by the hand and led me to his room. He fluffed up his pillow and swept a hand towards his bed. "Ladies first." I attempted a bright smile but it was pretty weak. I climbed into his bed and made room for him. He raised an eyebrow.

"I sleep better next to you." He shrugged and flopped down on the bed. I worried for a second it might break. We faced each other again. I was passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. Why hadn't that worked at home in my own bed? Jacob was too good to me.

I work up in the afternoon to find Jacob gone. I could hear him chatting with other men in the living room. They seemed to be in good spirits. I went to the bathroom to freshen up before heading into the living room.

"Morning sleeping beauty!" Embry called out. I watched him cautiously. I really wasn't in the mood for lesbian jokes. But he seemed to be genuine.

"How's it going Em?" I asked.

"Quil's going to be joining us soon. He's burning up and I saw him shaking at school today. He was pretty upset when he heard rumours that some stalker tried to rape and kill you." I cringed.

"You have the same rumours in La Push? Is there anywhere to hide from them? A girl from English class was trying to convince me to go to the pharmacy with her for the morning after pill yesterday." I blushed at the memory. "I can only imagine what they thought when I didn't show up at school today." I worried, chewing on my lip.

"Are you hungry?" Asked Jacob. "We just ate, but we saved a couple of pb and j sandwiches for you."

"I'm honoured!" I laughed. He brought out sandwiches wrapped in cling film from the kitchen while Embry made kissing noises at him. Just as soon as I was sitting down to eat Jacob was tackling Embry to the ground and destroying near lying furniture.

"Guys! You're too big to be play fighting in a house." I yelled.

They stopped to look at each other and laughed. In unison they said: "Okay, MOM!" I rolled my eyes. Jacob searched through pay per view.

"Jake, _Where The Boys Aren't_! I've been dying to see that one."

"It's more lesbian porn Embry." Jacob laughed.

I grinned thinking how Edward never would have allowed me to hear this argument. In his controlled domain, I wouldn't have even seen the titles roll across the screen. I wouldn't have had an evening with Charlotte. I was free to make mistakes and get hurt. This was better than being with Edward. I wasn't sad about losing Edward anymore I realized. I had moved on. With that realization, I wasn't hungry anymore.

I came around the couch to take a seat next to Jacob and snuggled into Jacob's side with my head on his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"Anything you want to watch Bells?"

"I don't really care right now." I said.

"You hear that Jake? She doesn't care! Please, Big Trouble In Little Vagina!"

"I'm not paying to watch that crap Embry. Besides, I don't want to explain that title to Billy when the bill shows up." Embry whined and Jacob picked a big budget action movie. He stroked my hair and I listened to his heart beat in his chest and felt his warm body. Perfect.

**A/N: I always thought spending weeks trying to take out one vampire, no matter how wiry showed incompetence. I wasn't impressed with SM writing them that way. Die bloodsuckers die!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**A/N: I didn't want to put anyone to sleep, but I did want to focus on relationships and personal growth in this chapter. I hope you don't mind. **

With March break coming next week and with Quil fazing that very night, we opted out of the last couple of days of school before spring break. The only thing that really bothered me about missing the three days before spring break was that it would probably feed the rumour mill.

Friday morning before spring break I went to the grocery store and filled a cart. Walking the quiet aisles I felt eyes watching me carefully. Of course, I tripped in the milk aisle and smacked my head really hard on the cart. To my frustration, people didn't see me trip, they saw me kneeling down holding my head.

"Call the chief she's having a meltdown! I knew this was coming." A clerk said over me. I tried to pull myself up but was still seeing stars.

"I'm okay, I just hit my head. Don't call the chief over me hitting my head!" I explained.

"Fine we won't call the chief but you don't have to pretend dear. The whole town's behind you. With that flighty mother of yours it's no wonder you came back on drugs. And then needing that restraining order on that rich Cullen boy, rich people thinking they own everything. You don't have to make Charlie pretend he let the Indian kid sleep over, it wasn't your fault you were attacked. You're so lucky to be alive after Charlotte. They found her body last night." She said knowingly rubbing my shoulder.

There was so much wrong with her rant and so much that was upsetting, I was shaking with anger. But then at the mention of Charlotte's body I was upset again. I was trapped between too many emotions. I felt people watching me. I pulled myself up and ran out leaving the grocery shopping in the cart. That wasn't going to help set the town right. The town of Forks thought I was their very own tragic heroine. _That's just great! _I hit the steering wheel before driving away.

I drove to Jacob's place. I knew he was out with Quil and Sam. I took deep breaths and decided to walk over to the beach. It was cool out but I wanted to feel the sand on my feet. So I took off my shoes and socks and carried them in my hands. I enjoyed the breeze blowing through my hair. Watching the waves crash on the sandy shore. Birds flying low along the length between the cliff face and the tree line at the other end of the beach. The smell of sea salt, pine, sand and simply the wild was tangibly thick in the air. It seemed in this moment to have a life of its own. It filled me with an ancient knowledge. A connection to days past and stories remembered and forgotten through time. This land was like a piece of paper. If you folded it and smoothed it back out, it remembered the fold. If you drew on it with pencil and erased the mark, you could still the etchings on the paper. Like a blank piece of paper, the land didn't forget.

I pondered why this was a significant thought to me. I realized that when they found Charlotte's body, they had unearthed the last place her mind had inhabited. Her body. I don't believe in a God or an afterlife or in souls. But I knew that the earth was real. _I think therefore I am._ The land was something tangible. And she had left a mark on this land that we couldn't clearly see, but then it would remember her long after we were gone and there wasn't anyone around to remember her. It was a soothing thought. I wished for olden times when her body wouldn't be soaked unnaturally in formaldehyde. When she would have been simply wrapped and buried deeply to sink back into one with the land. I wished I could rescue her remains from the morticians. I knew that they were doing it so that the body wouldn't blacken and would look as close as they could keep it to how she would look when she was alive. But she wasn't alive.

I tried to turn my thoughts elsewhere. Was it silly that I didn't believe in an afterlife when a spirit regularly contacted me in my sleep? Probably. Some part of me was too stubborn to seriously consider that not only were vampires and werewolves real and dead men with spirit wolves who talked to me in dreams were real, that there could be an afterlife. What if we didn't go somewhere after we died. What if we joined a pool of spirits walking the land without conscious thought?

The song Spirit In The Sky by Norman Greenbaum came to mind. I smiled. Maybe the pool of spirits were all around us. I knew I certainly didn't have all the answers. It would be simpler if there concept of spirits hadn't been introduced to my life. It was simpler to think on a land that didn't forget us but swallowed us back into the chasm from which we came.

"Hi Bella," I screamed as Jacob's voice appeared behind me. I landed on my butt in the sand much to his amusement. He plunked down next to me.

"You really were deep in thought." He commented.

"I guess so. How are things going with Quil?" I asked.

"Much faster since I started working with him. Sam thinks Embry and me just have more years experience working with him. It's best to make it a game with Quil. But Sam was making it a job. Quil's thrilled to be with us, it's not hard to show him the ropes. You're back from grocery shopping early." He sat with his knee's at a relaxed bend and his forearms resting over his knees. He noticed my blush.

"It didn't go well? Tell me what happened."

"The town thinks I'm a walking victim!" I wailed. He laughed.

"Sometimes it seems that way Bella. But why do they think that now?"

"I tripped and hit my head on the grocery cart. Next thing I knew the clerk was in a rant about how horrible my mother was, no wonder I'd come home on drugs and ragging on Edward and telling me I didn't have to lie about having a boy in the house in the morning, the chief wouldn't allow boys sleeping at the house. How did this rape rumour even start? How do I get it to end?"Jacob laughed at me.

"I told to do the physical at the hospital! Of course they're going to think you were hiding something." He seemed to think the point was obvious.

"You mean this is all because I didn't want them poking and prodding me? If I go get checked out now will that stop the rumours?" I thought hopefully.

"A bit late now. If you were a rape victim you have long since washed away the evidence and there might not be bruises. You really would have saved yourself this if you'd just co-operated in the first place. Will you listen to me in future? It's a small town, this is one of the most exciting tragic stories that's happened in awhile. You just inadvertently fed the rumour meal for decades." I sunk my face in my hands.

"Using your big words again Jake?" I taunted to change the subject. Jacob took the hint.

"So what's on the menu today?"

"I'm digging a hole to bury myself in. Wanna help?" Of course, Jacob shoved me down and started covering me in sand. I hadn't noticed Embry, but of course he was joining in. I tried not to laugh and surely told them off and let me go. But soon I was laughing just as hard.

"You wanted a hole to bury yourself in. We're happy to help you Bella. Anytime!" Jacob yelled gleefully. Eventually they stopped and helped me to my feet.

"Can we see Leah?" I requested.

"I think she's still at school right now. She doesn't skip." Embry grinned.

"Then we should work on the rabbit until Leah gets out." I suggested.

"Where did you find this girl?" Embry and Jacob laughed. We headed back to Jacob's garage.

Embry left for an appointment. Apparently, he didn't make a habit of skipping school without a reason. It was just me and Jacob alone in his garage.

"So, what are we doing today?" I took a seat in his garage. He slapped his hands together with a grin.

"I got new brake pads. What to help replace them? All four of these are worn down and squeaking."

We set about jacking the car up and removing wheels.

"This is the break pad. It looks like a disc." He pointed out. "And this piece holding it on either side is the calliper. That causes the friction needed to bring it to a stop." I nodded. That was pretty straight forward. He reached out to the calliper. "So we open this up ... looks like it's in good shape. Now ... " He continued describing taking off the brake pad and showing me how to put the new one from the box on. He put the wheel back together in continuing to explain each step.

"Pretty straight forward. You want to try doing the next one?" He had a bright enthusiastic smile. He was enjoying showing me this.

"Yeah, but you have to help me if I get stuck without laughing at me." I cautioned.

"Of course Bells! I'll have you working on the intake manifold before your next trip to the hospital." I playfully smacked his arm and started working on the next wheel. Of course, the front wheel was a little more complicated than the back wheel he had shown me. So I gave him the stink eye for that.

I hadn't planned to be working on the car and had made a mess of myself by the time we finished the fourth wheel.

"So, I can't check my oil but I can change my brake pads." I laughed. Jake was quiet for a moment but grinned and let the moment pass. I'd probably said it wrong but I was excited that while I hadn't tightened the bolts myself, I had actively helped work on the rabbit.

"Jake, I can't go to Leah's like this. But we don't have a ride to my place. Can I take shower here?"

"No problem. You can wear some of my clothes while we wash yours okay?" I hadn't planned to wash my clothes here, but it seemed like a reasonable offer. We washed our hands in the kitchen. Jake went ahead of me and laid out a towel and an oversized t-shirt and shorts in the bathroom. We smiled shyly at each other and I was very aware of our bodies as we passed each other in the small bathroom. I'd spent all that time working on the brake pads outside, oblivious to his closeness. I'd been focused on what he was telling me. But now my heart was beating faster and my face was flushing and I could feel warmness in my underwear. I had to shut down before I felt wet. No doubt he'd smell that.

I quickly shut the bathroom door and exhaled. I started the shower easing my head under the stream of hot water. I couldn't help but think about him standing in here naked taking his showers. My breathing hitched as images of his strong wet body under the shower head. Now I was officially fantasising about him and I fought for control. He probably wouldn't know that I was wet, but if I whimpered he'd hear that. I took long, deep calming breaths remembering Renee's jaunt into yoga. I found my center and focused on cleaning off the grease and washing my hair. Of course, after I had already washed it I realized that they didn't have conditioner. I scampered out of the shower and checked under the sink. With two daughters, Billy must have some conditioner lying around. And jackpot, I found it. Coconut ... meh! Not my favourite but beggars can't be choosers.

I finished my shower and dried off quickly and threw on the clothes he had left me. That was when I noticed my clothes were missing! He came in and took them while I was in the shower! What did he see? I blushed and raced out of the bathroom. The sooner he went in there the sooner I could start trying think of something else away from his presence.

"I'm all done!" I called out with the towel still wrapped around my hair wearing his clothes.

He gave me an easy smile and went into the bathroom with towel in hand. I thought after my fifteen minute shower he would take ten minutes. I'd have ten minutes to cool off and not think about how sexy he was. But he only took five minutes.

I pouted even knowing that he hadn't done anything wrong. I recalled more yoga techniques trying to erase any thoughts of Jacob in the shower. It was difficult being around him in his clothes minus underwear and bra. We waited around for my clothes to dry and get dressed and we headed out the door.

The walk to Sam and Leah's place was nice. It was a quiet and relaxed stroll. I was actually happy. I forgot the rumours being spread about me. I was happy! With the realization as I walked beside Jacob, I slipped my arms around him feeling like a child and squeezed him. I could trust Jacob. I didn't have many memories of him from when I was a kid. But with what I had seen of him in the past months and what memories I did have, I was convinced that he could be trusted. _I think._ A small voice still wasn't convinced. I brushed that voice away enjoying his toned body under my arms. He held one arm around me and pulled me close as we entered the house. As the newest member of the pack, Quil was sent on patrol seeing as Sam didn't want a werewolf lacking self-control around he fiancé.

Leah put on nineties rock music and pulled out beer and massive amounts of pretzels and chips. "I'm tired, I'm not making dinner." She narrowed her eyes at Sam just arriving on the scene who looked bewildered by all of the beer and chips. She cocked an eyebrow daring him to fight her on this.

"Leah," I whispered. "I don't mind taking care of it." She grinned.

"Nope. It's our night off. I've decided. Spring break is on! Wooot! Wooot!" She yelled shoving a beer in my hand and guzzling back her own. Sam wasn't impressed but probably figured she wasn't the best person to upset right now.

"Hurry up Bella," She murmured. "They've already finished a case of beer." She motioned for me to tip my bottle back. I tried to hide my grimace. Most of the guys were busy talking but Paul laughed at my reaction.

"Never mind Leah, I picked up some sweet for Bells while I was out." He turned to the fridge and pulled out something with pictures of fruit. It looked harmless enough. He opened it and handed it over to me while Embry kept Jacob occupied and Jared was talking to Sam. I took a sip, it tasted great. Tangy, sweet and a little bit of a lemon bite to it. I didn't realize the lemon wasn't the bite.

The guys migrated outside play wrestling. Leah had a playful look on her face.

"We don't get much time just the two of us. Care to play a game with me?" I was feeling warm halfway through my drink and happily agreed. Yes, I was happy. She explained the rules to the game.

"I'll go first. Okay, I've never skinny dipped."

I cringed and hesitated over my drink. "Does it count if you were a little kid?" Leah laughed.

"It was supposed to be an easy one. I'll ignore it this time okay?" She warned. I giggled.

"I've never smoked weed." I took a sip of my drink. I was curious if she had smoked before. Her bottle remained in her lap. I narrowed my eyes at her. _Crap!_ She smiled at me. I noticed I was feeling giddy, Leah sounded possibly a little drink but none of the guys seemed to be in the least bit buzzed after all the beer they had drunk. I'd better slow down and be more careful with my questions.

"I have never passed out from drinking too much." Leah announced and took a sip of her beer, but I held my bottle away from me. Jacob and Embry were standing with Paul watching us now. I frowned. This didn't seem as much fun without them playing along. They noticed me watching and started talking again. I felt a little bit brighter that she had drank too much even if she hadn't smoked pot.

"Ummmm...I have never...been arrested." Neither of us drank. We laughed. It seemed obvious, but then I wouldn't imagine myself smoking weed a year ago or that she had drunk until she passed out before.

"I have never made out at home with my parents in the house." She said mockingly. It was a sore point but she somehow facing Charlotte's death with a drop of humour helped me tonight.

"I guess that's not restricted to with boys?" Leah kept eye contact and took another sip of my drink.

An idea came to me. She was going to hit below the belt. Two could play that game. I burst out laughing and the room went quiet.

"I've ... never ..." I puffed between fits of laughter until I calmed down. "Never performed oral sex on someone." I kept my drink on my lap and Leah gave me a dirty look as she sipped her beer. Hoots and laughter came from the guys.

"Leah, we already know about that! Why get angry with Bella?" Paul teased.

"That's it! You guys, grab a drink and join in!" Leah ordered. "This isn't a spectators sport! Bella, I'll make you pay!" She said half laughing. Embry, Paul and Jacob took seats and a beer each.

"I've never stolen anything." Jacob took the next turn. Leah, myself and Paul all took a sip.

"You what?!" Embry and Jacob asked incredulously. "What did you steal?"

"My Little Pony." Leah confessed.

"A girl's panties after I slept with her." Paul confessed.

"Money for drugs." I shrunk in my seat. "It got expensive."

Embry rescued me from the silence but rushed his question.

"I've never worn mascara." Paul groaned about a wasted question and promised to put mascara on Embry for him. Leah and I took sips of our drinks. Embry looked disappointed about his question. I noticed Sam standing at the door way disapproving.

"I've never fantasized about having a threesome." Said Paul. Leah and I looked at each other and shrugged but all three guys sipped on their beer. Embry exclaimed his discontent.

"I have never searched for porn on the internet." I couldn't remember when, but I could see that I had an empty bottle in front of me and I had started a new bottle. I was starting to feel that empty stomach. I hoped this game would wrap up soon, my speech was starting to slur. I saw Jacob, Embry, Paul and Leah all sip on their beer.

Leah gave me a humorous but vengeful look.

"I've never made it to third base with someone of the same sex." I hung my head in shame before sipping on my drink.

"I think that's enough for one night Leah." Sam said gently while smiling at Leah.

"Now's you speak up?" I asked Sam. "After she gets her last question out?"

"I think it's time we get some food and water in Bella before she makes a mess." I didn't remember, but we'd already arranged for me to stay over with Leah and Sam's.

I ate crackers and drank water under Jacob's supervision while Embry explained that the guys drank off alcohol faster than they could get drunk. I'd question Leah's judgement more carefully in future. Apparently Paul enjoyed living vicariously through Leah and I getting a little drunk and Embry was sorely disappointed when that _Where the Guys Aren't_ didn't happen before his eyes. Somehow I sobered up and played rock music video games with the others badly.

The night came to an end, Jared went to relieve Quil. I climbed into the guest bed beside Jacob facing him while he stroked my hair. I passed out almost in seconds.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I woke up to a little nausea and a headache. But it was mild. The crackers and exorbitant amount of water Jacob had plied me with must have worked. I looked beside me and the smile on my face dropped. I was surprised I was so disappointed that he was gone. He had tucked me into the bed with extra blankets. That must have been why I didn't notice him leave.

As I sat up I became aware that I had slept in only my bra and panties. I must have been out of it last night to not notice that I was mostly naked sleeping next to Jacob. I found my pants and shirt folded on the chair and pulled them on.

I came out to the Kitchen to find Sam coaxing Leah on the couch to drink more water. Yes, she was sick. While Jacob had successfully plied me with water and snagged my bottle from me promptly last night, Leah had been much more set on her beer. The difference between our mornings was remarkable. I fought back a giggle as Leah screwed up her face and turned her body from the cup of water as if it were poison. I didn't want to have to admit that she looked like a pissed off kitten. All hiss and no bite.

"Lee-lee, be reasonable!" Sam whined. "A sip of water with advil isn't going to cure a hang-over."

"Morning!" I said brightly. "How much did she drink?"

"Three beers, but she has low tolerance for alcohol. Look at her. She's a hundred and twenty pounds. You weigh less than that you probably had the equivalent with your drinks. You must have a pretty good tolerance." Sam noted.

"I was just more obedient last night when Jacob kept tipping glasses of water at me. I saw her pushing the water you offered away last night. really does work wonders Leah."

Leah groaned.

"Who's up for eggs?" I offered. Leah jumped off the couch and stumbled for the porcelain throne with Sam following behind to hold her hair back. She heaved into the toilet hugging it. I followed behind feeling sympathetic for her. She wiped her mouth and looked up at me pointing.

"You tell anyone about this, I'll make you skinny dip from the cliffs at the beach." She threatened.

Sam patted her shoulder. "Everyone's going to know anyway Lee-Lee. Without Bella opening her mouth."

Leah got up and freshened up at the sink. "That sucks, I need to misdirect my aggression somewhere Sam." She muttered bringing a wide grin to Sam's face.

"That's my girl. That's what I'm there for honey." Leah struggled to hold back a smile. Sam offered the glass again.

"Water?"

"Yeah," She sighed. "bottoms up."

After five tall glasses of water and many trips to the washroom, Leah was in better spirits.

Leah decided the pack would go on a hike and a picnic. She'd done this before, so this meant giant coolers on wheels and a lot of sandwiches. By the time they had finished packing and arrived at the picnic, it was after one o'clock. There was laughter and joking and mass quantities of eating.

I had slept days without pack dreams for days. I had appreciated the rest. I sat on a log a small distance from the pack and observed Sam and Leah, Jared and Kim, Quil and what's-her-name, and Jacob. Paul was on patrol. They were uplifting and fun to watch.

A frog caught my attention. It hopped past me, paused and continued on its way. I followed its course quietly, tracking it with my eye. It disappeared behind a boulder. I heard more laughter from the pack and decided they wouldn't notice if I followed my curiosity. Where was the frog headed? I grinned at myself. Just like when I was a little kid. I couldn't help but follow the random animal that crossed my path. I found the frog on the other side of the boulder and followed its sudden hop and long pauses in silence. It was headed for a stream. Soon, I heard a plop as the frog dropped into the water.

"Bella," A voice jolted me back to reality. I saw Edward standing fifty feet away. I felt a small shiver go through me. "Come here now dear. I'll take care of you." He smiled at me with his beautiful eyes. "Don't you remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood? It's not safe with the wolves.

I love you so much." He made motions to close the distance between us. And I backed away trying to remember why his eyes were a problem. A voice in my head told me I'd been sucked in by those eyes before and they were drawing me in again.

His stare became more intense and I couldn't remember why I was resisting his gaze. "Bella, you belong with me. You belong to me and I belong to you. I have made preparations for your return."

_Return?_ A part of me reared up like a horse on its hind legs and that notion. I dithered because I was torn between two reactions. He was beautiful, passionate and seductive. But there was fear.

"You might kill me. I've been warned by Charlie, next time I might not be lucky. You seem fine right now. But you might kill me." Edward hushed me with gentle eyes.

"I would never hurt you Bella. Come to me so that I can hold you."

I shook my head no, but my feet moved forward as if of their own will. I felt confused, two sides of me warring. I was carefully and slowly crossing the stream, but as usual I felt myself slipping.

"Bella!" An urgent voice called. It was one of the pack but not Jacob. I tried to pull my eyes from Edward. But he held them. I continued my slow path.

"Edward loves me." I murmured.

"Look at me!" The same urgent voice blocked my view effectively capturing my attention.

"Leave her alone." Edward spat. The rest of the pack arrived. The guys made a line taking up defensive positions ahead of me. Leah and Kim were at my side. I began to shake.

"What am I doing?" I asked Leah. She hushed me, rubbing my back.

"Cullen, leave now." Sam said darkly.

"You whore! Lauren is right! How many have you given yourself to now?!" Edward yelled at me.

"Bloodsucker! You're pushing the line." Sam warned. I turned my back to Edward and covered my ears.

"You'll come back begging for my forgiveness when you're abandoned with their litter of foul mutts!"

I could hear him over my hands covering my ears.

"Edward!" Yelled! The pack parted to see me. "I've been intimate but not with any man." I knew the pack would supply images. His face filled with rage.

"You liar! You're being passed around the pack! You're their communal whore!" He accused. Was he getting confused a couple of them remembering their fantasies? It didn't matter.

"Believe that if you may. But you have proven that you are my enemy. Goodbye Edward." I turned and took Leah's hand walking away. Leah and Kim brought me back to the picnic area and we cleaned up.

"What were you thinking? You were walking towards him when we came." Asked Leah.

"His eyes held me and his words were soothing. I tried to stop. But I just kept on walking to him. I'm pathetic." I thought aloud. Kim hugged me.

"I don't know much about this Bella." Kim said. "It's probably none of my business. But he must have had quite the leash on you. That doesn't necessarily make you pathetic. Just still in recovery." It was an optimistic thought and I appreciate it. We had finished packing up the picnic when the guys returned. Leah, Kim and Jared walked ahead.

"I'm-I'm sorry." I said to Jacob. "There was a frog and then beautiful topaz eyes. And I asked questions but his answers didn't really matter. I lost my resolve." I rambled my poor excuse for an apology.

Jacob looked into my eyes. Sam spoke.

"Well, it's different than last time. You didn't run into his arms." Sam smacked Jacob's arm and walked ahead.

Jacob caught up and gave me a smile. "You did just fine Bella. You held out long enough for us to get there. You stood up for yourself when we backed you. You're coming alive each day, you're paying attention to the world around you and you didn't abandon all thought and run into a wife beater's arms." I cringed at the name calling.

"He's never hit me." Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Let's not argue about this small detail. Are you ready to go? You're still shaking. Are you cold?" I laughed.

"I wasn't ready for a confrontation. I still have a lot of adrenalin I think. It's confusing. I didn't want to go with him. The last time I saw him, I asked questions. But I didn't consider not going to him then. It wasn't so simple this time. I sort of want Edward, but I want what we had, I don't think I can be that girl anymore. I heard those things he yelled at me. I don't know if he said those things before I left. I can think of other things I want. Things Taha Aki showed me and things that Charlotte showed me. Edward can't give me those things."

We were walking hand in hand.

"I've been watching you come alive. I thought you were wonderful before. The woman that's opening up and letting me get to know her, is amazing and I'm growing to love her more every day."

I came to a stop and looked up into his eyes.

"Really?" He nodded with a smile.

There was something I wanted to tell him. He had opened up and told me he loved me. He knew about all of my failures and weaknesses and I wasn't a pillar of strength right now. But he was being vulnerable in front of me.

"I can't say the same back to you right now. But I have something to tell you. Do you remember when I fell asleep on the couch and you wanted to know who I saw?" I asked.

"Your future mate. Do you recognize a face or name?" He asked concerned.

"Yes, it was you." I blushed. "It seemed so unlikely. You hadn't shown any interest in me in that way. It seemed like too much pressure to put on you. But now that you've told me that you love me, it doesn't seem so unlikely." I smiled at him. "Taha Aki gave me a dream about you and what we could have that I couldn't have with Edward." I was nervous. He stood watching my face thinking carefully. Seconds passing felt like hours and my patience waned.

"I want to kiss you." He said simply. "But I don't know if that will upset you."

"That won't upset me. I'd like that." I had barely finished the words when he swept me up into his arms and pressed me to him. Our lips met and his lips moved in ways that I was unfamiliar with. Warm, wet and soft. He tasted refreshing but exciting. Exciting isn't a flavour I corrected myself. But it seemed an apt description.

My heart pounded, heat rose from my belly and up to my head. I pulled my arms around his neck and held myself to him tightly. His hands tightened and his tongue searched my mouth. I relinquished myself to his probing. He was firm but gentle. It felt wonderful.

A moan escaped my throat and he poured more passion into the kiss with renewed vigour. I revelled in his body wrapped around mine. He pulled away staring into my eyes.

"I'm so happy to hear that. I hope your dream is true. I started to love you that day we first saw each other at the beach and my love has only grown as time passes. I want you to be happy and safe and strong. You are so brave you put warriors to shame." He smiled.

I smiled. We walked along the beach hand in hand. I imagined us in our own home, with a low wooden fence and flowered garden with children's toys and two dark haired children playing in the yard. I saw Jacob walking to me and wrapping his arms around me happily. I imagined being a good wife to him and a good mother to our children. It all sounded so wonderful. I froze. An idea occurred to me.

"What's the matter?" Jacob asked. I had stopped walking.

"He said litter. Your sister's are twins. Jared has twin brother and sister. There's even triplets around here. You guys don't make litters do you? I'm an only child. I don't think I'll ever be ready for litters!" I panicked.

Jacob chuckled. "We are very virile." He laughed good-naturedly. "You're cute." He sighed. "No, we don't make litters. I hadn't thought we had more twins than usual. Maybe we can find some stats on that. But still most of us aren't twins."

I felt anger at Edward. I saw how much he hurt when he saw memories of me with Charlotte and whatever else the guys showed him. Edward tried to scare her with threats of litters of puppies. She'd hurt him worse than that. Jacob was her soul mate. Why not retaliate against Edward with images of her with her soul mate the next time he saw one of the pack?

"What are you thinking Bella? You're getting that determined look in your eye."

I threw myself at him, wrapping my legs around his waist and attaching myself to him. I was aggressive, strong and angry with Edward. It felt wrong. I pushed that thought away from me. Jacob was kissing me back, equally strong, aggressive but loving. There was no denying the guilt that was coming but I wasn't going to admit to Jacob why I had thrown myself at him and why I was kissing him like I was now. She heard him groan and saw a frown settle on his brow.

"Bella..." He breathed. "I love you... but I have a funny... feeling... you're kissing me for the wrong reasons. I'm not going to participate in that." He twisted away from her mouth and held her head against his shoulder in an embrace.

"I'm sorry." I pulled back. "I'll go now." I muttered in embarrassment and guilt.

"Bella,"

"No, you're right. It's okay. I should go now." I ran off.

"But Bella, how will you get ..." When I got to his house, I remembered I'd borrowed their truck to grocery shop and get down here. Where does the truck go when I get home without admitting I drove without a licence? _So much for a dramatic exit._ I walked back to Leah and Sam's.

It was just Leah dancing like a crazy person to Bif Naked "Let down." In the kitchen. I took a moment to watch with a small smile on my face.

"Very nice Leah." She screamed and turned to face me.

"Bella! What the hell are you doing watching me spaz out?"

"Enjoying myself. Um, Leah can I get a ride home. I made a dramatic exit and then realized I didn't have a way home." Leah grinned.

"At least I'm not the only acting like a spaz. Hold, let me get my keys. Okay?"

Leah's version of driving was a little erratic. I made a mental note to avoid riding with her. She sped up, slowed down with the conversation, she changed cd's and occasionally she cut people off. Her reflexes were great or she would have gotten killed a long time ago with her lack of attention to the road. But just to be safe, I decided I would be sure to make sure I had a ride before going with her.

"What were you planning to do now?" She asked.

"Cleaning, laundry and make dinner."

"It's only two in the afternoon. I've got another idea. You're coming with me." She turned up the music and sped up. The sun was out and it seemed a good day for a road trip. An hour and a half later, she pulled off onto a side road and hopped out of the car.

"What are we doing?"

"Just a little trespassing." She grinned. I followed her timidly. She hurried through the tree's and tripped trying to keep up. Just ahead of us I heard her yell up a whoop. I broke through the trees and came to rows of fields of purple.

Leah dropped down and sniffed. "It's only Spring. By Summer, the smell is everywhere and they grow out. There are a few Lavender farms around here. Will you come back with me in July for the festival?"

I smiled. "I'd like that. This is much more innocent than what I thought you were up to." I took a seat next to her. We spent the next hour sitting and talking until we had an inkling that someone was coming. Then we picked up and ran. Of course, as soon as we got to the tree's I took a fall. Leah got me back to the car and we drove back.

We were laughing and Leah was dancing to loud women screaming to rock music as we pulled up to my house. Jacob and Sam were sitting out front with their arms across their chest. They didn't look happy.

"What's wrong?" Leah spoke first.

"Where were you?" Sam asked.

"Sequim."

Now Sam was curious. "Doing what?" He tried to hide a smile.

"Girl stuff. Now what's going on?"

"Well you didn't tell anyone so we were worried that you might have run into Edward after the incident today. We've had the guys out looking for you." Sam was serious again. "Could you give us a heads up?"

Leah gave Sam a kiss. "Sure hon. We just had an idea on the spur of the moment. We're going back in July."

"I'll see you at home Leah."Sam told her. "I'll let the guys know we found them." He nodded to Jacob.

Leah and Bella said their goodbyes and then it was just Bella and Jacob.

"What's in Sequim in July?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know if I should tell you that. It was a bit of a girls day and you might not be interested. And what if Leah doesn't want you to know anyway? She might lose some tough girl street cred." I smirked at Jacob and he shrugged. "Jake, would you like to join us for dinner?"

"I'd love to."

**A/N: I lived in London for four years as a kid and visit family. As a group of six kids, (siblings and cousins) we used to go down to Norfolk and traipse through lavender fields. We'd also go onto fruit farms and get chased off with a shotgun. But god was it ever nice compared to London. I know, completely irrelevant but **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**A/N: I haven't skimmed over this to check for mistakes. But I'm feeling impatient, so here it is. **

_Two of us were crying sitting in the back of a car. The hood was up and it was raining in desert. I felt overwhelming defeat. There was a flash of white movement outside the car. I knew but I wasn't looking. I wouldn't look. I already knew what was coming. Then there they were standing either side of the car at the windows either side of me. Alice and Edward. _

"_There's a flood coming in fifteen minutes Bella." It was true. I had seen it before. And the last time I had seen it, I refused their help. And we had died. I had also seen it before and I had taken their help. And we had been swept into the Cullen's like collectibles. _

_I'd rather die than under Edwards thumb again. But I wasn't alone and I couldn't think only of myself. _

"_Please save us." I sobbed. _

"_On condition that you will not contact family or Quileute or anyone outside of the Cullen's." Edward demanded. I nodded solemnly. _

"_This is where you are headed Bella." I was now in the woods at a fire with Taha Aki. "You run into men's arms for comfort and safety. I know you are about to do it again no matter what I say tonight or which scenario or timeline we set. I have thought over this carefully, it is better it happens sooner than later. I wish you would listen. You betray the pack and your family. But worst of all you betray yourself . Tell Sam all that you see." He said dejectedly. _

I woke up terrified. I ran outside. Jacob was supposed to be on patrol tonight. I cry outside in the dark against the cold in pj's and dressing gown with slippers. I had taken comfort and safety from Edward again in the dream. _No!_

"Bella? What are you doing outside?" Jacob appears.

"I _need_ you." The memory of Edward and Alice holding me prisoner for life rattling me to the core.

He hugs me. "I'm here. You have me."

"No! I _need_ you." I demand. Then I hit below the belt. "If you love me then don't reject me now." I knew it was a low blow and I knew it was manipulative. The guilt set in immediately. But I was going to be captured again and I shuddered remembering Edward grinding against me on his bed. I remembered the bruises on my crotch and the inside of my thighs. My first time wasn't going to be the kiss of death. I would be with Jacob first. I had to now. Who knew when desert would happen? In the morning? Not if I was in Jacob's bed. Even if Jacob refused, Edward would _not _be my first.

Jacob was staring at me. He seemed to be having an internal struggle.

"Edward will _not_ be my first. If I don't get a choice about him having my body later, I get a choice whether he's my first. I want it to be you. But anyone has to be better than Edward. He will not have my virginity." I declared.

"You were dreaming." Jacob said.

"He finds me and I am not alone. If I was alone, I would have chosen death rather than capture. But I can't choose death for those with me. He will not save us until I promise to stay with him forever. Taha Aki played out many timelines and scenario's and they all led me to making the same mistakes and being caught Edward. If you love me, you won't allow him this much." I pleaded holding his hand.

"You do realize how crazy it sounds that you're pleading with me to have sex with you? This is role reversal. Can't this wait? We need to tell Sam about the dream before we start making decisions." He said with conviction. Anger surged from me.

"You won't help me." I said simply. "I won't wait and I won't have your alpha involved in the decision making process of when and to whom I have sex. Jacob Black, it's now or never." I said with surety. I knew boys at school or Quil or someone had to want me. It hurt that Jacob had to think about this.

He paused for one moment before gently picking me up in bridal style and kissing me softly. He walked me to the house and in through the back door. He tasted wonderful and his warm skin was a relief after the biting cold. His heat relaxed my body. I noticed how all the places that usually creaked as I stepped on them were silent. He padded into the living room.

"That bed will make far too much noise. Is this okay?" He asked quietly. I nodded feeling warmed from his concern. He took cushions from the couch and lined them on the floor. Then turned to look at me.

"You don't have to do this now. We could plan this and make it special." I took his hand and looked up into his dark eyes.

"I feel special. That is enough." I reached up on my toes and he assisted me lifting me at the waist. I kissed his chin and traced kisses along in jaw. He groaned and I felt a shiver run through him. I still felt like this was urgent after my dream. But I didn't want to rush him. I suspected that this was his first time too.

"I don't carry condoms on patrol." He sighed reluctantly. I wriggled down and unzipped his jeans. It was best if he didn't give this too much thought. I doubted Edward would be concerned about condoms if he came for me tomorrow. I kissed down his bare chest. Confidence in knowing he loved me spurred me on. My hand had reached his hard on and found moisture at his tip. I licked it figuring that it would probably feel good to him. He whimpered. I liked the sound. I wondered what other sounds I could pull out of him. I lowered my mouth over his head, sucked gently before circling my tongue around pretending it was a lollipop being it was the only thing I had experience sucking. I heard a guttural sound come from him and I felt moisture seep into my panties. I sucked once more tugging on his head before releasing him and licking his full length. His entire body was tense. I stopped and waited to him to look at me. I almost laughed when he became aware and seemed to come back to the moment.

"I need you." I said earnestly hoping he heard the weight that I placed on the words. I took off my nightgown, keeping my eyes on him. I raised my hands and looked at him expectantly. He slowly placed his hands at my hips and slipped his hands under my shirt edge, slowly raising the edges and lifting the oversized shirt over my head. His hands lightly grazed my skin as he lifted my shirt off. His eyes met my torso. I felt self-conscious but he seemed to be enjoying what he was seeing and I didn't want him to lose focus. I fought my urge to cover myself. I curled my thumbs under the waist of my pj bottoms and underwear and tugged down. I heard his breath hitch. I stepped out of my pants and pressed my body against his. He was a hot oasis against the cold room. I tugged on his pants and smiled at him. I remained quiet. The more I talked, the more I would distract him and bring him back to reality. I didn't want him to think about this. His jeans were already undone and they slipped off his hips onto the floor. I pressed myself against him and let my fingers explore his body. I didn't take my eyes from his as I watched his reactions. I reached for his face and he lowered his lips to mine. We kissed and I felt desire swell within myself.

I whispered in his ear as his arms encircled me. "Soft and wet." I felt his heart beat fast against his chest pressed up against me. His arousal pressed against me. He gulped as I pulled away and laid back on the cushions and try to give him a look of reassurance.

He lowered his body over mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt every bit as nervous as he did, but I didn't want him to know it. He was kissing my neck and rubbing his length against my folds. I had grown impatient. I was wet, he was erect and this was going to hurt. I didn't want to wait around and let fear of pain build. I would only dry and lose tense. Renee had said it wouldn't hurt much if I was relaxed. I reached down and led him towards the center of my folds. He stopped moving. We both stopped moving for a moment. I heard him softly panting.

"You need to push for this part. It's probably going to hurt me a little bit so I may be a little distracted at first." I warned him. Everything inside me was screaming for him to enter me, but my mind warned me that my body was forgetting the hymen. He seemed to think for another moment but still panting.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I jerked my hips down on him, pushing against my folds harder.

"Hell yes." I told him. He let out a slow controlled breath as he slowly pushed himself inside of me. It stung and felt foreign and too big. Before he had pushed inside me, I had felt the need to be filled. And now he was filling me, it was shockingly unfamiliar. He finished pushing inside me all of the way and I could feel his pleasure rolling off of him. It soothed and relaxed me knowing that it felt entirely pleasurable to him. He felt more familiar inside of me. Yes, I wanted him. I focused my mind on my core. He was still holding still, as though to collect himself. He felt harder inside me than I had expected. But he fit tightly. As though he expanded against me. The thought made me feel more anticipation. I felt my body relax and enjoyed the sensation of him inside me.

"Okay." I whispered to him. I knew he was waiting for me. It must have felt like an eternity for him. He was shaky as he pulled out and slowly pushed in. The sting returned, but this time I noticed the friction. He filled me to the hilt and I felt him push against my clitoris. I felt a shiver and the movement rubbed him against it. I felt my body building up already. A gasp escaped my mouth, it had felt good and I hadn't expect it to so soon.

"You liked that." He said. "You're still a little tense." He observed.

"Pleasure and pain will do that to you." I whispered. He shuddered against me, jerking my nub. The sensation made me tingle and I felt the tide turning on this experience. My caught myself digging my nails into his back and jerked my hands away.

"I'm sorry! I'm hurting you."

I heard a smile in his voice. "I liked it. Seemed appropriate." I pulled my arms around him but tried to be more aware of my nails. I lifted my hips back and he pulled out. I was ready to start setting a pace and showed him by rocking my hips up and down. Each thrust became more pleasurable and less painful.

Just as I started to need something I couldn't name, he began to pump harder and faster. A moan escaped me. That was exactly what it was. If I'd known what it was I was looking for, I would have told him. But it was good that he felt the same thing. I saw nothing and heard nothing and smelled nothing except for Jacob and his body. My hips met his and we moved harder and faster my body arched up into him and let out a small cry. He jerked harder and faster even still and came seconds later letting out grunts. His hips relaxed down on my body and he rested on his elbows over me. His face was in the crook of my neck breathing heavily sending small tingles down my spine. I didn't want him to get off. I held him despite being too hot. I wanted to burn under him. I was immersed in Jacob in ways I never knew I wanted to be. As my body relaxed I realized my nails were imbedded in his back again. I tried to gently rub away where my nails had been feeling embarrassed and silently hoping he didn't notice.

There was some soreness still left. Even so, I felt my walls tighten around him revelling in him inside of me. I noticed then that his large torso had to bend around me and it couldn't be comfortable for him. I reluctantly let go and he stretched out. His face hovered over mine. We stared at each other with small shy smiles.

"Hey," I said.

He laughed softly. "Hey,"

"That felt right." I said and took a deep breath. "I love you Jake." I told him.

His widened before he smiled wickedly. "Sure, you tell me that after you get into my pants. Are you sure you love me or my dick?"

"Hmmm ... difficult questions." I said slyly. "Do I have to separate to the two?" He lay down next to me and pulled me onto his chest and stroked my hair.

"I love you too Bella."

I wanted more, but I knew Charlie would be up soon. I sighed.

"We have to pack this up before Charlie's alarm goes off."Jacob stiffened.

"I forgot about Charlie." He stiffened. "The condoms!" He whispered.

"Usually, I would care. After that dream...it was worth the risk. I'm sorry Jake. I needed you." I admitted. Before he could say more I got up. I didn't want to think about having a baby. I was so happy we shared this moment and we had taken something away from Edward. Jacob jumped up looking concerned. I felt liquid running down my leg. I didn't want it to land on the carpet and quickly grabbed my dressing gown to catch. The liquid brought reality to hit me like a force of nature. I forced away thoughts associated with the liquid. A part of me couldn't picture myself pregnant. It was an alien concept. And what were the odds? I pushed that thought away from me as I pulled on my pj's.

"I'm not going to get pregnant." I reassured Jacob. He looked doubtful. "I'll go to the pharmacy this afternoon." I wasn't sure how I'd get there, but I'd figure that out when I got up. If I was going to have sex with Jacob again, I was also going to need condoms and I was going to go on the pill. I wanted to do that again. Before I could do anything, I had to get Jacob out of here and back in bed before Charlie showed up.

Jacob had already put the cushions back.

"I turned over the cushions. There's a few drops of blood and cum on the other side." He grimaced.

"There was blood?" It didn't hurt that much. I figured there wouldn't be any because it didn't hurt much and I was told many girls didn't bleed the first time.

Jacob looked at me funny but I decided to drop the subject.

"I'll clean it up after Charlie leaves." I kissed him on the lips and headed up the stairs carrying my dressing gown. I waved from the top of the stairs with a big smile. He smiled back and left. I went to bed and tried to go to sleep. My mind was racing. I hear Charlie's alarm. I hoped he didn't smell sex in the living room. But usually he didn't use that room in the morning.

_The fireplace in the clearing again. _

"_Enjoy my descendent?" Taha Aki asked. I blushed profusely. This was just weird. _

"_Well when you put it that way..." I said. _

"_I won't forget that you told my descendents that I lack a sense of humour. But we have business to attend to. As you know, Edward will capture you. You must live. I know you would choose death. But you must live." I frowned. Edward had made it clear that he was my enemy. I had been a prisoner in Phil's home. It would only be worse with Edward. I wouldn't live that again. _

"_Your son asks you to live. Jacob's son asks you to live." A boy appeared facing away from toward the fire. He had my brown curly hair. He was nearly school age. My heart leapt and my mouth dropped open. _

"_Edward has brought in a distraction. The pack are fighting the distraction. If they had not all gone to fight, one would have stayed and died. You will wake up to Alice and Edward kidnapping you. You will do as you are told. You will take the first opportunity to escape. You will escape before Edward can harm you. There will be money with the drawer, take the money." He looked apologetic. "You will be exiled and hiding until the pack are ready to divide the Cullen Coven. You are entrusted with a child because you wouldn't fight otherwise. If you want to protect your child, you will listen to me in future." _

I felt my body being yanked up.

"You smell of sex." Edward said with disgust. I was hanging over his shoulder.

_That's not the worst of it._ I thought to myself. Edward and Alice talked to another person.

"Cover the scent carefully. It must not get back to us."

Soon I was in a bedroom that looked to belong to Alice. The Cullen's argued downstairs. Edward and Alice promised that they would leave and take me and Jasper with them. Carlisle argued for my return. Alice yelled and they all left the house. _My escape! _I jumped up and grabbed a bag from the closet, I threw open a draw and shoved clothes into the bag and shoes from the closet into the bag. Sure enough, there was a wad of bills in the drawer. I checked the next draw. Another wad of bills. I took both and hurried downstairs. There were keys by the front door. I grabbed a set and headed to the garage. _Which one?_ I hit the unlock unbutton and Emmett's Jeep unlocked. I threw myself in the car and took off down speeding down the road. I raced until I reached Port Angeles, dumped the Jeep and pulled out my passport that had been sitting on the edge. I ran to the ferry to Victoria, Canada. I was going to be doing a lot of running over the next few days.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**A/N: I was asked for Jacob's perspective of what happened. So, show a little patience for the escape and exile. Didn't take too long as I'd already integrated his perspective for plot line. **

**JPOV**

"Bella..." I tried to explain. "I love you... but I have a funny... feeling... you're kissing me for the wrong reasons. I'm not going to participate in that." I pulled her lips away from me and tried to give a reassuring hug.

"I'm sorry." She pulled away from me. "I'll go now." She looked guilty. She was leaving me.

"Bella," _How would she get home? _She interrupted my question.

"No, you're right. It's okay. I should go now." She ran away.

"But Bella, how will you get ..." I tried to tell her as she ran to my house. If she took the truck I'd have to run up to her house and bring it back before Charlie noticed. I didn't want to annoy her, she was making it clear that she wanted space.

I thought about what had happened but couldn't decide why in that moment it had felt wrong. She was kissing me for the wrong reasons but I couldn't figure out what those reasons were. I liked that I was her soul mate. I was going to make sure that I was a permanent fixture in her life and not a fling. Not someone she turned to for comfort and then moved on.

After a time, I didn't hear the truck. I did hear Leah driving past and honking at someone. Something was changing with Leah. Sam wasn't noticing, but I could see she was getting stronger, faster and even the number of minor collisions she gets into had dropped. Her car was a testament to how many times she had side swiped and backed into other vehicles. But she hadn't had an accident in a month. She was getting warmer. Was the wolf thing rubbing off on the mate? I smiled, I'd like that. That would mean Bella would be safer and wouldn't hurt herself so often.

There was no sign of Bella at my house. I caught a small scent of her heading to Sam and Leah's. That would explain Leah driving by earlier. She must have been giving Bella a ride home.

A howl went up. It wasn't too urgent. I entered the woods and tied my clothes to my leg before phasing. I listened carefully as I headed to where Sam was. He was at the stream Cullen had drawn Bella to earlier.

_Cullen's scent is gone from the spot he was standing only hours earlier. We can't rely on scent to tell his whereabouts. This isn't a coincidence. He's up to something. We'll step up patrols and speak to Carlisle. Where is Bella right now? _Sam asked me.

_With Leah. I believe that they are headed to Bella's house. _I answered showing images from my head. Quil had other images. Bella and Leah headed out of Forks. Alarm went through the pack. Had Cullen lured them out of Forks? _Oh fuck me!_ Without a scent trail for him or the girls in the car, how would we find them? For about five seconds, panic filled the pack. Until Sam and I took control of ourselves. Calm immediately settled over the others. Sam gave orders and we began to search the peninsula.

Three hours later me and Sam stood outside Bella's house. Her scent had been found with Leah's going into the woods in Sequim and then back to the road. What were they doing? Embry had immediately offered up a raunchy lesbian sex scene playing through his mind replacing Leah and Bella's bodies instead of porn actresses. We should have stopped him sooner but it was hard to drag our minds out of the gutter. Paul was impressed with Embry's attention to detail imagining smells and sounds. I didn't have it in me to be jealous or upset. I was just annoyed that I was so easily distracted from the task at hand and that I wasn't angry with Leah and Bella anymore. We were worried, but the alarm wasn't so serious now that we had some trace of them. Things didn't seem quite so upsetting. I talked to Sam about the implications of today's events avoiding Embry's pack porn offerings. Leah and Bella pulled up in good spirits. I felt relief drop through me. We weren't letting Leah and Bella off that easily though.

"What's wrong?" Leah spoke first.

"Where were you?" Sam asked.

"Sequim." We knew that much already.

I could see Sam's resolve failing. So was mine.

"Doing what?" We tried to maintain our serious expressions.

"Girl stuff. Now what's going on?" Leah had had enough of answering questions. She wanted her question answered. She could see something had happened.

"Well you didn't tell anyone so we were worried that you might have run into Edward after the incident today. We've had the guys out looking for you." So were Sam and me until Embry picked up you scent in Sequim heading back to the road. "Could you give us a heads up?" Bella seemed to half understand the implications here. Leah understood entirely. She nodded in all seriousness and threw me an apologetic look.

Leah gave Sam a kiss. "Sure hon. We just had an idea on the spur of the moment. We're going back in July." She added.

"I'll see you at home Leah." Sam impressed upon her that he would explain more there. She was eager for further explanation. "I'll let the guys know we found them." He told me.

Bella walked up to me. She smelled of Lavender and woods and nature. Under all of this was her floral scent.

"What's in Sequim in July?" I asked her.

"I don't know if I should tell you that. It was a bit of a girls day and you might not be interested." I doubted that. "And what if Leah doesn't want you to know anyway? She might lose some tough girl street cred." She smirked. I pulled back laughter. Bella said 'street cred'. I managed a shrug. "Jake, would you like to join us for dinner?"

"I'd love to."

Bella served a large meal of fried fish, mashed garlic potatoes and a salad. It was nice considering it was just before my patrol started.

I was trading off patrol with Jared when Bella's scent came to me. I changed to human ran towards her house.

I saw her running into the woods in pj's, dressing gown and slippers shivering against the cold.

"Bella? What are you doing outside?" How can we guard her when she won't stay where she is supposed to be? She was scared.

"I _need_ you." I smiled. I could comfort her anytime. She must have had a pack dream.

"I'm here. You have me." I told her.

"No! I_ need_ you." She looked me in the eye and suddenly, I wondered what she had seen in the dream. I connected that she this dream with Edward's activities. Something was coming. "If you love me then don't reject me now." She looked guilty, but also confident in her assessment. She seemed to shudder at a thought. I didn't want her first time with me to be out of fear of something worse happening. But I had yearned for her for a long time. I had dreamed of her in my bed so many times and in so many ways. My groin tightened.

"Edward will _not_ be my first. If I don't get a choice about him having my body later, I get a choice whether he's my first. I want it to be you." She admitted. "But anyone has to be better than Edward. He will not have my virginity." We were going to fail. She had dreamed and we were going to fail. Edward would have her. This was the one thing she could keep from him.

"You were dreaming." I said dumbly.

"He finds me and I am not alone. If I was alone, I would have chosen death rather than capture. But I can't choose death for those with me. He will not save us until I promise to stay with him forever. Taha Aki played out many timelines and scenario's and they all led me to making the same mistakes and being caught by Edward. If you love me, you won't allow him this much." She was right. This was too much for him to take. But there must be some time?

"You do realize how crazy it sounds that you're pleading with me to have sex with you? This is role reversal. Can't this wait? We need to tell Sam about the dream before we start making decisions." This would be how Sam would approach this situation. And he was usually right. Her shivering stopped and heat filled the air with her rage.

"You won't help me. I won't wait and I won't have your alpha involved in the decision making process of when and whom I have sex with. Jacob Black, it's now or never." I knew that I might give pause to make sure that this was a special moment. But others wouldn't and they would be more than willing to help her with this.

I gently picked up her up kissing her softly. I would try to make this special with what I had available to me. Outside with her shivering in the cold was not acceptable. I brought her to the living room.

"That bed will make far too much noise. Is this okay?" I said quietly. I lined couch cushions on the floor and looked at her. She was so small, I hoped I wouldn't hurt her and I hoped I could make this feel good for her.

"You don't have to do this now." This seemed so rushed. I was barely ready, how could she be so sure? "We could plan this and make it special." She took my hand and looked into my eyes with her soft doe eyes melting me. She took my fears with her next words.

"I feel special. That is enough." She reached up to kiss me and I pulled her up to me. My skin heated to her kisses and my groin tightened. A part of me, I suppose the wolf, wanted to bend her over the couch while I hold her breasts and hammer away inside of her. I felt a rush at the thought but concentrated my efforts on what I should be doing and not on what my instincts wanted. I let her set the pace.

Then a thought struck me. This problem would end things and I felt disappointment. My wolf didn't care, but I knew it was a necessity. "I don't carry condoms on patrol." She aligned her hips with mine and unzipped my jeans. The friction of her movements and her action of undoing my pants made my hard on painfully swell. Thoughts of birth control dissipated from my mind. She kissed my body with her sweet, warm soft lips. Her breath on my chest coaxed moans from my throat. Her hand reached down into my pants and to my surprise she grasped me and rubbed my pre-cum over my head. My breath caught and I fought for control over myself. She bent down and licked me inducing whimpers as I forced myself to hold still. I would _not_ let the wolf fuck her brains out. She seemed pleased by my sounds. I was incredulous that she wanted to do this. I wanted to stop her, I should be pleasing her. But I was enjoying myself too much to argue with her. Her soft, sweet wet mouth held my head and sucked as her tongue swept around me. Shudders ran through me and my eyes rolled back in my head. A loud growl that would have woken up Charlie was fighting to emerge. A low groan broke out. I smelled her arousal following my groan. She liked that. I was a lucky man if she enjoyed giving head. I gasped as she licked my length. And then she suddenly stopped. I was panting. She looked amused.

"I need you." She took off her nightgown while maintaining eye contact. She raised up her arms and I lifted her shirt over her head slowly I touched her soft skin raising the shirt up. This felt like foreplay as much as kissing her was foreplay. I wasn't sure how much foreplay I could withstand. Her breasts were soft and round with pale pink nipples. She was perfect and I felt a need to claim her even though I had no right. She pulled her pj bottoms and underwear down. Anticipation was building and reaching new heights. I could hardly breathe as she pressed herself against me. She was cold and I happily warmed her. She tugged on my pants and they fell to the floor. Her small fingers explored my body and she watched my reactions. We kissed and I wondered out much longer she could drag this out. My body was screaming. I was ready in the woods and at this point it was becoming torture. The scent of her arousal as our bare skin met reminded me why I was waiting through this torture. The smell was intoxicating and I felt myself floating in my mind. She wants me. I was waiting for so long for her to feel what I felt.

She whispered in my ear. "Soft and wet." My heart pounded out of my chest and relief swept through me as she laid down on the cushions.

I felt nervous about rushing her still. I slowly lowered my body over hers. As our hips aligned she wrapped her legs around me. I almost burst all over her torso feeling her thighs around my waist. I kissed her neck and dragged my erection along her wet folds. She reached down without warning and directed me into her folds. I panted more heavily trying to hold still. I was confused for a moment. It was what I wanted but I was second guessing each step making sure the wolf didn't gain control.

"You need to push for this part." I almost laughed when she said that. "It's probably going to hurt me a little bit so I may be a little distracted at first." I was annoyed with myself being pleased that she was a virgin.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She shoved her hips down on me.

"Hell yes." The wolf liked that answer. I let out a slow breath as I pushed inside of her. Soft skin resisted and tightly hugged around me as I pushed forward. I groaned and tried to hold back the noise. Her body tightened under me. It seemed wrong that it felt so good to me and it was clearly hurting her. All of the way in, waited for her to recover. It was torture again. I caught the scent of blood and winced at the thought. I wondered if she would want to stop now. I felt her muscles begin to relax again.

"Okay." She whispered. I pulled out slowly and pushed in again. The friction, the tightness and the wetness felt so good. I couldn't move faster against her, so I pressed against ever further. She shivered while gasping and clearly liked it when our pelvis touched. Her nails dug into my back.

"You liked that." I said. "You're still a little tense."

"Pleasure and pain will do that to you." I shuddered at the admission. Yes there was pain, but she was enjoying herself too! She jerked her hands away from my back. I had been enjoying the urgency with which she had pulled me to her.

"I'm sorry! I'm hurting you."

"I liked it. Seemed appropriate." She hugged me again and began to rock her hips against me. I concentrated on meeting her rhythm. I heard her breathing turning into a pant and her rocking became more urgent. I was filled with elation and found my body moving with her. Soon we weren't in unison but she seemed to let go and moan with my pace. She held me tighter, her nails digging into me as soft mewls came were induced from her mouth with each thrust. I felt encouraged. He mewls reach higher chords and her body arched into me as she cried out. It felt so good my body seemed to respond instantly to her and I came. It was so much better than I had ever imagined. I continued to rock slightly against her as her walls continued to alternate between relaxing and tightening on me. She held me to her and I could feel that her orgasm had lasted so much longer than mine. I felt a little smug.

She must have noticed her nails again because she pulled her nails out of my flesh and rubbed the spots. I would have smiled. I wasn't registering any pain, it felt good when she did right now. She sighed and released me. My body gratefully stretched out and I pulled out of her. I hovered over her beautiful face still. She was flushed and I enjoyed seeing this on her face. We smiled at each other.

"Hey," She said.

I laughed. "Hey,"

"That felt right." She told me. And it was exactly what I needed to hear. And then she told me something I had wanted to hear her say for a long time. "I love you Jake."

I held back a laugh. "Sure, you tell me that after you get into my pants. Are you sure you love me or my dick?" I teased.

"Hmmm...difficult question." She teased slyly. "Do I have to separate the two?" I lay down and pulled her to me. She won the teasing. I was more than happy that she loved me and my cock.

"I love you too Bella."

She sighed. "We have to pack this up before Charlie's alarm goes off." Reality hit me like a brick.

"I forgot about Charlie. The condoms!" I whispered. _Oh god!_ The wolf was more than pleased at the idea of impregnating her and that only made me feel like a bad man. We were clearly too young but my instincts didn't want to deter pregnancy.

"Usually, I would care. After that dream...it was worth the risk. I'm sorry Jake. I needed you." If she knew the idea of impregnating her tonight was a turn on, she'd probably hate me. She jumped up and I saw her sway a little before finding her balance. I quickly set to tidying up our mess. The room smelled intoxicatingly of sex. Of us. I felt a shudder seeing my cum drip down her legs and pretended not to see as she wiped it up.

"I'm not going to get pregnant." She reassured me. With her luck, that was highly unlikely. "I'll go to the pharmacy this afternoon." I wondered what that meant. I knew about condoms and the pill. What else did the pharmacy have?

"I turned over the cushions. There's a few drops of blood and cum on the other side."

"There was blood?" She blinked. How did she not know there was blood? The fact that it hurt at first should have let her know there would be blood. Her surprise gave my ego a boost but I smacked that down quickly. I really didn't know how the female mind worked.

"I'll clean it up after Charlie leaves." She said before kissing me. She carried her dressing gown upstairs and waved at me from the top of the stairs.

I was filled with elation as I left. I had to change into my wolf and run off the excitement and joy I was feeling. My mind replayed everything to a reluctant audience. Jared cringed at the thought of my naked ass pounding against someone. I chuffed. He pulled up the information about the birth control.

_Sam, Charlie and Billy will NOT be pleased that you knocked up Bella. _Jared was stern.

_You make it sound like a foregone conclusion that she's pregnant. _I sniffed back. _She's going to the pharmacy. _Jared chuckled.

_You don't even know what's at the pharmacy. _This is when it became clear that he was older than me. He showed me Plan B that needed to be used within hours of birth control failure to prevent implantation and an abortion pill. I didn't like the sound of either. Both would make her sick Jared insisted as Kim had used Plan B after a condom broke. I decided I would talk to her before she went out this afternoon. Of course, it was her choice. But I thought I should let her know where I stand.

We caught multiple vampire scents at once. We chased down the scents at full speed. A group of female vampires were astride the border waiting patiently. Rage overwhelmed me. I let out a howl to call the others.

Then we noticed that they had yellow eyes. Should we attack? Between the Cullen's and these vampires we were greatly outnumbered. Sam arrived.

_I will find out what's happening. They aren't moving forward. _Jared and me stood before the bloodsuckers with our hackles up.

"We can't talk to you like this." The blonde said with disdain. Sam arrived and spoke in human form. It seemed that these leeches were family from Alaska trying to ease talks amongst the Cullen's. They weren't sure of the truth and needed to hear our perspective of events. They had made a mistake on the exact boundary line. Sam explained our perspective of the story. They were troubled. Very troubled.

"Your story closely resembles Carlisle's version of events. I believe it is time that Edward came with us and left Forks. He will bring down the wrath of the Volturi on the Cullen's and we will lose good people." I doubted that they were people or good but ignored the comment. "Thank you. Edward sent us out here to talk to you. Which is odd, as you don't corroborate his version of events."

Alarm hit the pack. We took off at full speed for Bella's house.

She was gone without a trail.

I played back the discussion I had with Bella before we had sex to the pack.

_She knew. _Sam had waited with the female leeches at the border. We became agitated and angry. Soon the Cullen's joined and an altercation broke out. While they were displeased with Edward and Alice, they still considered them family. They would deal with the situation with Edward and said they would help find Bella. My mind spat at them. _Lies, you know damn well where Bella is._

Carlisle and the calming one brought the situation back to calm and we separated ways. Bella seemed to expect to live. I held onto that hope that I might see her again someday.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

At the ferry, I paid for tickets and saw I had a thirty minute wait. I looked down at myself. I was still wearing my pj's. I silently prayed that I had grabbed clothes that would fit. I found a public washroom and looked through the bag. I found yellow capri shorts, (I had never seen Alice wearing pants much less shorts.) and a gray tank top with a dark gray hooded sweater with pink trim. The capri's were a little short on me. Of course, no underwear. I changed and came out wearing slippers. I then rifled through the bag for shoes. Black high heels or short pointy heeled sandals. I stared hopelessly at the two pairs of shoes. A giggle echoed and I looked up.

"You look like someone else packed for you." A sleekly dressed woman said bemused.

"That's exactly what happened." I frowned deciding that was the best explanation I could give.

"I'm taking off on my boyfriend. Well, my ex-boyfriend now. I'm going to need to go shopping when I get off the ferry." I explained.

"The sandals. It's too cold for this time of year, but it the black shoes would look make you look oversexed." The woman offered.

"Thank you." I put on the sandals and left for the ship.

As I prepared money and pulled out my passport, I noticed that it wasn't my passport. It had my picture. But the name was Elizabeth Mason. Edwards mother. I frowned thinking that was very presumptuous of him. My birth date was four years earlier making me twenty-one years old. I hoped it was a good forgery. I looked through the bag. It had embedded pocked in the straps. I knew I remembered seeing Alice sewing these bags with along with clothes. When she was too impatient for someone else to make something, she made her own. I took most of the money and tucked them into the secret pockets. I suddenly wondered. Alice would have seen this. Was Alice even helping Edward? I shook my head and decided it was time to keep moving. I staggered around in the stupid heels.

In Victoria I bought some warmer clothes, underwear, socks and running shoes. I bought a ticket for a flight to Toronto, Canada. In case Alice was helping Edward, I didn't plan. I made decisions when I saw opportunities present themselves. I saw flights going to Milan, Italy and snatched up a ticket. I bought a suitcase and more clothes in the airport. Authorities would notice an American tourist arriving with a backpack and a handful of clothing without a return ticket. I was too tired and afraid to take in the sights around me until I was bumped to first class and slept to Milan in a chair that lay flat.

_There were rolling hills, tidy fields of so many different colours and textures that they looked like patchwork quilts. Plump hedgerows were filled with wild flowers and berries. A group of houses looking as though they had once made up a farm stood on the highest hill over wide expanses. The grey and blue sky stretched out forever. Tree's dotted the land. One tree stood out to me on the horizon. It looked like a wolf howling at the moon. _

"_A retired policeman and his wife run a small farm. They have three full-grown daughters and two full-grown sons and thirteen grandchildren. Explain that you are running from an abusive ex. He spent twenty-five years turning up to see battered women in their homes before he retired. They will expect you to work. But they have the means to keep you out of sight of the authorities until the time comes._

_You will arrive in London by train. You will ask for The Tarka line for Morchard Bishop. And then you will walk." _

Four days later, I walked off the platform of the small railway station. I walked to the London Inn and had lunch. Like many other places, employee's seemed disgruntled that I was interrupting them. I sat quietly watching a wood fire burn.

"Thee bist staaring faare too 'aard at yaar chips dearel." A short pretty blonde raised concerned eyebrows while creasing them together. Her pronounciations seemed far too guttaral for her pretty melodic voice. I really didn't know what she said. Many of the local people sounded like pirates to me.

"Whare 'ee be going tae?" I understood that.

"Retired policeman around these parts." I smiled. "I'm not sure of the address. I noticed the roads don't have names. Just directions."

"Whaat 'ee naed tae know foar? Ne'er 'ee maind. Stuart Baernstael bae neare." She smiled. I was stunned by my good luck. It was really that easy. She called out some names.

"Mye chillurn well take 'ee. Gemma this be-" she paused to look at me. Something told me I needed to use my own name. She would know if I lied at this point.

"Bella." I choked out.

"Waest Aashe aye. Guide 'aer tae thae fork and diraect 'aer farm 'ere." She nodded.

Her early teenage daughter spoke more clearly, apparently her father was from Salisbury. Which meant that she understood West Country accents but was more mild herself. Her younger brother was Benjamin and he followed along dragging my suitcase with him.

"Sorry we aren't doing ar purper job taking 'ee." Benjamin apologized earnestly with a heavier accent than his sister. It was down hill to a fork in the road. I avoided looking at the white sign post pointing three directions in case Alice was watching. I thanked them and said goodbye.

The rest of the way was uphill. Halfway there a tractor with farm equipment pulled up. A Carl Bragg with another thick accent knew the policeman and took my suitcase without asking hitching it onto the back of the tractor avoiding and pointed to stand on the ledge beside him. They seemed to believe I was a vacationer, although I was the first American they had seen. Most came from Northern Europe. I almost fell a couple of times.

Stuart was a large man with a booming low voice and enunciated extremely clearly with an authoritative tone. He was displeased my presence on his property and if I was planning on renting a cottage I should have informed well in advance and booked one like everyone else. It wouldn't do to simply ignore the waiting the list and he didn't have room available as it was.

I was surprised how little I had to tell him and his wife. I'm told I can stick around in the camper for a year. It doesn't take long to be swept up into their daily lives. Nelly is involved painting classes, hiking groups with Stuart, playing squash, helping with the farm, cooking entirely from scratch without the aid of grocery stores, babysitting grandchildren occasionally, volunteering with meals on wheels, visiting the recluse down the road, book club and still hairdressing for friends as that was what she did as a living before she retired to the farm. Stuart was into local history, gardening, farming, his small herd of sheep, two cows, chickens, ducks, orchard, holiday cottage they rented out, hiking, local tourism board, local newspaper editor, masonry and organ repair for local churches and stealing Nelly's cakes when she wasn't looking. Stuart was drawn to the area due to family history. I talked with him soon after arriving on the farm about it.

We sat for lunch as Nelly pottered around the kitchen. The short white haired woman rarely sat down in her chipper world. When I asked him why he retired here he smiled.

"This is why the locals think I'm mad." He chuckled in his baritone voice. You see the tree on the hill? The locals joke that it's the hound of Baskerville. But my Grandfather lived here as a boy and for many generations they lived here until my father moved to London. My Grandfather looked like me. Over six foot tall, olive skin, dark hair and dark blue almost indigo eyes." His eyes were so dark I had never stopped to look before. But sure enough, his eyes were blue and so dark they almost looked purple.

"He said that there was a tree that looked like a wolf howling at the moon at the highest point between the two moors. He said it was the last of our ancestors to turn into wolves." He told me as though it were an inside joke and winked at me. I stopped breathing.

"My family lived here probably back to the bronze ages or earlier. As family myth has it, our tall dark skinned children stopped having brown eyes with the last wolf. Of course, it's all very silly nonsense. But all through my childhood and adult years I was called to this land. We were planning early retirement when we found the tree shaped like a wolf at the highest point between the two moors and Nelly and I knew we had to be here. I had seen this place in my dreams since the day my Grandfather told me about it. This farm was derelict and we paid little for it. We've rebuilt it and it has felt wonderful. Of course, we're a crazy old retired couple who moved to the middle of nowhere and start a farm when we knew only about gardening. But we're going to be around a long time. Both our parents are still alive and my grandparents were over a hundred when they died. There are many myths and legends from the old days, before William the Conqueror got his face into things around here. People don't forget things easily around here. They still hark, 'ee bist and tell I's. They remember their stories of fairies, goblins, werewolves and spirits." He told me conspiratorially.

I felt a shiver. He recognized something in my face but was too embarrassed to admit that he had any suspicions that I knew my own legends.

The farm had much work to do, the locals helped each other and I found my day filled with activity. As though I had dropped into a new world and disappeared entirely off the radar. This world was mostly filled with the over fifty crowd who politely asked few questions but accepted me cheerfully.

When the grandchildren came to visit, I was shocked. Seven teenage and college age grandsons. Leaner, but built like the pack with olive skin instead of russet, brown hair and indigo eyes. As if the five children had decided to have children all the same time. It would seem true, as two had their first children in their late teens while the others had waited until later. There were three girls, with builds slighter than Leah's, one was fair with blonde hair and brown eyes. The other two had olive skin, brown hair and indigo eyes. Then there were three small young children. Two girls and a boy.

The older grandchildren seemed to like trouble. They took up windsurfing, hang gliding and rally racing with the exception of the blonde who was set on becoming a professor of English in university. She had their height but was built very differently. The parents were very active also. I found myself dragged out to the moor's for hike's at paces that I deemed unnecessary. Of course, the younger children found it hysterical when I landed butt first in the cow pat.

It was a week long invasion each Spring for the wassailing on the Saturday night. Some celebrate in January. But they had decided that tradition was much too cold and moved it to April at Nelly's insistence. Late into the night we joined hands left the warmth of the house to the orchard. There were chants and a song to the sprites to bring a good harvest come autumn. Then the men got carried away making a racket to scare away evil spirits with bellows, soccer chants and drinking songs. Mischievous exchanges passed between the women and girls slowly backing away from the men before we turned and ran into the house locking the men and boys outside. It had happened that way for many years. The best pleads and promises from the men were a requirement to get back inside. The least convincing waited the longest.

I observed one of the younger children playing with his toys. He ignored the fire truck and other toys to play with the farm toys.

"What are you doing?"I asked him.

"Mucking the fields. Make sure we have a good harvest." He said seriously. I had no idea what mucking a field was but I nodded solemnly with him.

As much fun as family visit had been, it was a relief when they left.

A month later when my period hadn't come, Nelly approached me. She had discreetly placed pads in the bathroom. And when she had gone to replace them, they hadn't been touched. I admitted, I was possibly pregnant.

"Come with me." She smiled sweetly. I found another woman driver who made me cringe. She hit the ivy covered fence backing out of the garage. I had seen many capable women drivers. But it would seem lately, those capable women drivers weren't in my life. She left out an apologetic laugh.

"Ohhh dear! Do you think Stuart will notice?" I shook my head. She ground the gear back into first and I felt sorry for the car. Driving along the narrow roads she told me happily about a bridge game that she had played with friends in the living room last night. The narrow road allowed for only one car at a time. We came upon two cars traveling opposite directions who had gotten out of their cars to talk. A line developed either side and people waited patiently. Nelly waited and continued to talk as though she hadn't noticed that two cars were stopping the road. When they finally got back into their respective cars, the cars shuffled to find openings to allow passage along the narrow road. Navigating this small space, I was stunned to see Nelly close her eyes and screw up her face as though praying her way through the tiny opening rather than driving her way though. I was stunned that we made it with the hedge brushing the side of the car.

Silent but polite exchanges. It was all very strange to me. No sooner than we had passed that hurdle, we came across a farm with a herd of cows crossing the road from one field to another. Nelly continued to talk patiently. What should have taken ten minutes to drive, had taken about forty minutes so far.

We eventually reached the shopping center parking lot and we paid for parking stubs. I was used to cities paying for parking, not a town with a small high street/mall.

"I didn't think you would like the village talking about your pregnancy test. This is more discreet." She said reassuringly. She led the way to the drug store and exchanged pleasantries with the staff. I picked up the two tests and paid hiding my eyes from the clerk.

Of course, I wasn't surprised when the tests came back positive after the pack dream. I wondered at how I hadn't had another pack dream. But then, I was in exile wasn't I?

There were many meals that were very good. Nelly was a great cook especially considering she didn't go grocery shopping and used the farm. That night, wouldn't include her better meals. Rabbit stew wasn't on my list of dishes I wanted to try. _Who doesn't look at a bunny and think yummy?_ I thought sarcastically to myself. I spoke to Nelly about the positive test as I was sure that Stuart wasn't prepared for that conversation. She assured me that she would let me know and that she knew a wonderful woman in Tiverton to be my Midwife. Nelly was excited.

She had her children at home with midwives and so did her daughters. She shared stories and said she would ask if Brianna would be willing to have me assist with her birth after learning that I had never attended a birth. She seemed to think it unreasonable to give birth before ever witnessing it first hand before. I wasn't sure if I _wanted _to see it first. I wondered if showing up at a hospital and getting an epidural would mean I'd be too visible to Edward? I sensed it would be best in my situation to follow the woman Taha Aki had entrusted me with.

As summer came, the landscape came alive. There were flowers everywhere, the moors became a dreamscape with brooks and blossoms and flowers and ewes and sea air reached the mainland some days.

My midwife was a woman in her late thirties who wore long flowing skirts, loose hair and spoke with a crisp accent. Nelly described Zoe's accent as Received English. She was soft and reassuring and more new age than common sense for my liking. But she knew her stuff. I saw the equipment that she would be bringing. She had a doppler to hear the heart beat and offered to set up an appointment for an ultrasound with a technician if I pleased. She recommended it to check the placenta wasn't obstructing the cervix. She seemed to safe to talk to.

"I'm worried about my name going onto official records easily dug up." She smiled.

"It won't show up in any databases. This is Devon, stuck in the stone ages. It's all paper." She smirked. "Who are you hiding from?"

"I had...a very rich boyfriend who became abusive. I left him. I started a life and found a new boyfriend. My ex found me. I'm hiding temporarily here. I've been told my ex should be out of the picture in about a year. Then I can go home. For now, it's best if I stay invisible. If he knew about the baby with the new boyfriend, he would go ballistic."

"That's why you pay cash? I don't see many patients outside of the NHS." I shrugged. "I understand, I'll be sensitive with this information." She had more questions in her eyes, but thought better than to ask them.

Days later Stuart sat watching cricket with me over a cup of tea. "If one were to want to send a letter inconspicuously to America, without a trace back to England..." He said slowly, not taking his eyes from the screen. "They could place an addressed and postage paid envelope inside of another addressed envelope to a friend in Australia who would mail off the letter found inside the larger envelope." I smiled but he didn't look up. "I'm talking too much over my cricket game. One could look in my office for stationary."

I hopped out of the room and set to writing at the dining room table.

Dear Jake,

I am in a beautiful hiding place that Taha Aki showed me along with my escape. It seems there is another land that had werewolves who haven't phased in many generations. I was shown a year long exile before I am captured by Edward in the Arizona desert. But I was told that is how long it will take before the pack is ready to divide the Cullen coven. I hope so.

I am four months pregnant with our child! I was shown a boy in my pack dream, so he probably will be. His heartbeat is strong. I haven't felt any kicking yet. I'm excited to meet him. But I am scared of the birth. I will be avoiding the hospital which rules out epidurals. I will have two women who I trust at my side. But that doesn't replace you.

I wish I could tell you so much more about this place. It is peaceful and yet there is always something to occupy my time so I don't sit and worry myself sick. Work here is labour intensive but I enjoy it and I am enjoying watching muscles grow on my body with my round belly. I am strong and healthy and in good spirits. But I miss you.

I love you with all my heart,

Bella

I left money on Stuarts desk for the stamps I took using enough postage for Australia to America and placed them on the envelope and wrote the address. I pulled out another larger envelope and placed my letter inside it and looked through his rolodex. Sure enough, there was only one address for Australia. I prepared the letter and placed it on the kitchen table with a thank you note.

As the summer rolled through I attended a village revel with morris men dancers, May pole dancing and a revel queen who I was told would be offered up for sacrifice for pagan Gods at the end of three day festival. Coconuts were broken up and handed out to eager children. Church bells rang deafeningly. I was amused the pub. We went in to eat and it looked quite normal. Until I entered the "old" section. Taking steps down into a low ceilinged room with ancient looking wood and stone floors. No one commented on its age or took note. But I felt as though I had stepped back in time. Amongst the adults, a lot of beer was drunk that night.

Stuart told me stories of the land and I was surprised how much history was remembered by the locals. Of course, reliability was an issue. They swore that giants built Stonehenge. Autumn came and I learned about the dangers of fog when I got lost in the orchard and couldn't see my hand waving in front of my face. I followed Nelly's voice calling back to the house. If I had been on the moor's I could have found myself drowned in a bog due to that fog. I enjoyed Harvest Festival celebrations and Guy Fawkes. Before Christmas, I wrote to Jacob again expecting the baby at anytime. My fear and anticipation were at an all time high and I wanted to feel a connection to Jacob.

Dear Jake,

I should be writing to reassure you, but I'm days from the due date and I am terrified of the pain. I feel guilty that I'm not worried about a healthy baby and a healthy birth. But I'm not a fan of pain. I did attend a birth here by a lovely girl who wanted to put my mind at ease. It was beautiful and her pain wasn't so bad. But I've been warned every birth is different. I want the short not so painful kind.

I'm rambling. I've been trying to keep contact at a minimum and shouldn't be writing to you. But this is the time when I want you by my side the most. I wish you were here to stroke my hair and tell me it was okay. That would mean more to me than an epidural. Which believe me would mean a lot to me right now.

I am having false labour nearly daily. It hurts. I want to say something reassuring to you but I can't say anything and honestly mean it right now. I wish I could tell you where I was so you could come to me. Being without you right now hurts just as much as the contractions.

When I manage to relax and breathe with them with my friend's help, they don't hurt nearly as much. But when I'm alone, the panic and fear sets in and then it's bad.

I have nightmares of the dream of Edward capturing me soon. But I think that will bring me closer to you. My year is almost over and that brings me hope that I will see you again. I will try to be as brave as you facing down a vampire. If it wasn't safe, I believe Taha Aki wouldn't send me here.

I love you and miss you.

Bella

I was peeling potatoes while experiencing false labour for the umpteenth time.

"Bella," Nelly said watching me. "I think it's time." I frowned. "I've been watching you. It's been picking up for the last half hour. It looks like labour to me." She had given birth five children, attended births within her own family and ten of her grandchildren. I believed her. "Shall I call Zoe?" She asked.

I nodded. My heart raced. I walked to my room and began preparing the bed. I prepared the rest of my birth kit. It was methodical and kept my mind from focusing on terror. I breathed slowly and deeply and focused on what was ahead of me. As I finished Nelly came in.

"Would you help me crack walnuts and almonds for my cake please?" As always, she had something to keep me occupied. I stood in the kitchen with her chatting about the rabbit that had gotten into her rhubarb and how she intended to thwart it's efforts in the new year.

The contractions came harder and closer together and longer. They were harder to ignore.

"Brace the sink and rock dear. Bring him down. So, you think that solution is too cruel?" She asked. I took her advice and took deep breaths. High whimpers came out. "No, no. That is the sound of a scared little girl. I've turned Stuart out for you, make it for a reason. You're on top of an empty hill. Give me a roar." She laughed. "Or if you're too shy you can practice teaching him farm animal sounds. Moo's are good Daisy." She giggled.

In my mind, I decided that this wasn't going to go away on its own. I had to face this head on. I felt supremely stupid, but began with one loud roar to declare that I would face this head on. She was right, it was easier to relax into low sounds. I continued moaning loudly. I stopped hearing the world around me and focused on the sound of my own voice. Other noises were blocked out and I pulled into myself. I made low moans as I imagined myself riding the contractions like waves. Sometimes I lost focus and pain break through and I thought I would break and my exhaustion made me want to play victim. But Zoe and Nelly were right there bringing me back to myself and my focus. I paced the house sometimes bracing on furniture. Soon I stopped noticing what was happening. As if coming out of a trance, soon I found myself pushing him out on my bed. His cries broke through the silence of my mind and I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I hadn't cried and hidden away. I had faced a fear head on for once in my life and I had my beautiful baby boy to look at for it. I held him and nursed him and looked down on him proudly. I watched powerful creatures do things all the time. But I felt like I had accomplished something just as powerful as they were today as only a young woman.

"How long was the labour?" I asked.

"Twenty-three hours I would guess. What do you think Zoe?" Asked Nelly. I was stunned. It did not seem a day. No wonder I was exhausted.

Dear Jake,

I worried you needlessly. The first part was horrible. But when I faced it head on, I found strength. I'm stronger than I knew and I wish that I had believed you when you told me.

He looks dark right now and happily feeding like a champ. My midwife knew nothing about you and immediately knew that his father is Native American. Very exotic for these parts.

I'm not sure of a name. I decided I didn't like Junior. But I wanted family names. I am going with Ephraim Jacob for now and when we get home you can give him a proper name as this is only a place holder. I've had months to figure this out and I'm tied in knots. We can have his name changed when I get home and he'll be none the wiser that his mother couldn't figure it out. I should be more upset that I'm stuck on this, but I'm not.

He weighs 9lbs 6oz on American scales that Zoe thoughtfully brought for me. It's all metric and English scales here. I love him so much. I have a piece of you here with me that I can look at and hold and love. I feel so much braver seeing who I have to protect. I'll do whatever I need to do to bring your son home Jake. I promise.

We love you and miss you.

Bella and EJ


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**JPOV**

Spring break was coming. A year had passed since Bella had disappeared and been kidnapped. My theory was that Cullen had kidnapped her and that she had escaped him. But without her letters, I didn't know if she had run away from me or if Cullen had kidnapped her and sucked her dry or turned her.

Her letters had been a godsend. I was almost entirely lost in grief and held on to a slim hope that she was alive when I received her letter four months after she had gone. My soul soared when I found out that she was alive and she was giving me a son! I hurt inside that I didn't get to hear the news from her lips. It hurt that I wasn't going to be with her through the pregnancy. It hurt because I would miss my son's birth. But I focused on what I did have. Bella was alive, I was going to be a father and I had a chance to fight for her when the year was up. I had tried to learn and understand her fears during the pregnancy. I looked into epidurals and I could see why she was scared and disappointed that she wasn't going that route. But Sue assured me that many who have a choice to have epidurals insist on natural anyway. She said it was empowering and possibly better for the baby. I took comfort in Sue's reassurances.

Bella seemed to think she was in capable hands. I wanted to hunt her down when I received her scared second letter. But Cullen was watching. If we searched for Bella, we would lead him right to her if we ever found her.

Still, I looked at the postage to Australia and imagined where she would be and what she was doing. Of course, Cullen took off to Australia when he read my mind on the border. The pack was in upheaval filled with terror that we had given away Bella's location. But weeks later he came back empty handed.

Remind me to never play hide and seek with Bella. She had lasted a year hiding from a mind reading parasite and future reading bloodsucker. I'd thought of her as helpless for so long in Edward's shadow. But I was being reminded of the girl I knew from my childhood and from her letters, she was now a woman. She had only been with us for three and a half short months since leaving Edward, but she had become one of ours.

I hadn't received word from Bella since her announcement of his birth. I was now a father, tribal chief and the Alpha. It seemed crazy when I hadn't graduated high school just yet. Bella hadn't graduated yet. But she was at least eighteen years old. But Old Quil was right. Looking at the guys in my class, I wasn't just physically more mature than them. In every way but my age, I was a man.

I feared and questioned the future of Bella in Edward's hands. I wondered if Edward had already caught her. Maybe she was in their basement with EJ right now. I shuddered at the poisonous thought and tried to be more optimistic.

With Charlie's failed Amber alert, he didn't understand my renewed hopes after receiving the first letter. Of course, we couldn't tell him about the letter, so I'm sure from the outside it would seem like strange behaviour. I set about to prepare and build a stronger pack so that when we showed down Edward to rescue Bella and my son, we would be ready. With the Denali's coven staying in Forks, our numbers were growing in proportion to the vampires. Ten bloodsuckers had led to thirteen wolves. Myself, Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil, _Leah_ (who saw that coming?), Seth, Colin, Brady and our three newest pups Javier, Daniel and Dinah.

We were learning why girls hadn't phased before, at least not that we know of. Leah phased in May. Dinah phased in January. Mating season hit in February and the girls came into heat. They smelled amazing. The first few days Leah seemed happy about the attention from Sam, until she found her limit and made rules. Sam was eagerly awaiting next February.

Dinah was Daniel's twin and Jared's younger sister. They were the least prepared for her to phase and then most upset by mating season. Most of us seemed to get that she was only fourteen years old and last year she had been playing with barbies still sometimes when she thought no one was looking. Yes, this was a member of my band of fierce warrior protectors. She was sweet, innocent, immature and smelled like a sex Goddess in February only weeks after phasing. The pack members closer to her age had restraint issues and I was grateful that she had two brothers to step in. The rest of the guys picked up the mantra 'barbies, barbies, barbies' whenever they had urges to remind themselves of her age and maturity level. Soon enough Dinah was nicknamed Barbie.

I didn't give her much of a chance to really become a member of the pack initially. Her brothers wanted to shelter her and to be honest, so did I. Then came the Embry throw down.

We were having a pack meeting at Sam and Leah's. Following business we had hung out talking. Until we heard tree's breaking and snarling outside. We all ran outside to find Embry and Barbie in wolf form when she took a chunk out of his hide. I phased to find the images causing rage in Barbie's mind.

She had been sucking on a lollipop in the kitchen helping Leah cook when Embry had groaned loudly watching her. This wasn't the first time and she had yanked him by the collar and dragged him out the back door to talk. After a few wrong answers she had phased. When he phased to defend himself, she saw images of herself giving him a blow job. She was livid.

We broke up the fight, but I saw that she was tough. She didn't go running to her brothers. She kicked Embry's ass. I was now considering if we could give our new members earlier participation.

"Jared, I know you don't want her to fight. I don't want her to fight. The elders really think that we have to trust that she is with the pack for a reason. We're holding her back, when does she get a chance to prove herself? I think we should give her a chance, see how well she does in training and then decide."

He was quiet deep in thought.

"She's always been tougher than she seems." I raised an eyebrow looking for more information. He sighed. "She's always been so girly, until she loses her temper. But she's helpless when she's scared. That's why we're protective of her."

I considered this. "We can train her through her fear. But what do you mean about her temper. I've only seen the Embry smack down." I grinned.

Jared smiled. "She broke my nose and I had to get stitches in my hand when I broke her dolly when she was four and I was eight. I can count how many times she's lost her temper, but she'll take down someone twice her size when she's angry."

"She's easy to underestimate. I've seen her mind for so long and I've never seen a hint of that temper before Embry pissed her off." Sounded like a backup plan if things went wrong with Edward. He'd never see her coming. She didn't have any thoughts when she was attacking Embry. She was pure instinct. I felt sick at the idea of her facing down Edward, but she might be a last ditch chance if all else failed. Or at least an asset to the pack.

**BPOV**

_We had a picnic set out under a large oak tree. EJ was crawling on the grass and I watched with Stuart and Nelly delighted in his discoveries. Of course, the sky grew overcast and we packed up to go home despite a forecast with sunny skies. I turned around and Edward was holding EJ while Nelly lay on the ground with Alice sucking Stuart dry. I gasped a cry. EJ was crying. _

"_You've been living a fairy tale life while I've been worried sick about you!" Edward roared. I chewed my lip my heart and stomach in knots watching EJ. My arms dying to reach for him._

_The bonfire with naked men dancing and Taha Aki cut the vision short. _

"_I'm sorry, it's too sickening to watch the rest. It is time to move. If Edward believes you have been living happily while in hiding, the consequences will be devastating." We sat in silence as the terror and dread of what I had just seen and these words of warning reached me. _

"_When should I leave?"_

"_Pack carefully tomorrow. You should be out of there within two days. It's best you don't contact these people again until Edward burns. He would only use them against you." _

_I noticed the pack weren't celebrating. They were solemn and seemed to be in silent meditation. _

"_They are preparing days before a battle that they know is coming. Much as your pack is doing." He observed. _

_Alice stood between us and the fire. I jumped. _

"_She has been having doubts. She sometimes helps you. She sometimes helps Edward. But ultimately, she will choose her brother. She does not want to see harm come to you or your son. But she can see a future where you would be with Edward. It isn't impossible. But..." My body came up in bruises and it became painful to breath, as though my ribs were broken. Then my body was injury free again. "She is watching the possibility become more slim with the passing of time and is in denial."_

_Alice disappeared and EJ appeared in Taha Aki's arms. He was asleep and looked serene grunting and snoring in his sleep. _

"_He will grow to be a good man. For Jacob's efforts, EJ's generation will be spared as was Jacob's father's generation were spared. He will live a normal life." A wide grin spread across my face. As much as I loved the wolves, I did not want that for my own child. EJ disappeared. _

"_You will land in Phoenix. You will head northwest. You will see the valley where the flash flood will come. You will park and put your hood up as if the car is broken down. Then you will wait." He smiled. "Any message for Jacob?" he asked. _

_I blinked. _

"_I am contacting him tonight with information. I will try to be gentle but he's not a dreamer."_

_A sly smile came to me._

"_The vision of my mate you gave me after I saw Third Wife. Would it be too much for him?" Taha Aki laughed. _

"_I'll see what I can do."_

I woke up and watched EJ in his crib. I stood over his chubby body, with his hands in fists reaching above his head. I loved the sound of his snoring and grunting in his sleep. Sometimes sucking on his pouty lips with a small frown. I wrapped a robe around my body and headed to the office. I asked the operator for assistance with a long distance number.

"Hi Bella," Alice answered. "Congratulations, EJ is adorable." I frowned, of course she knew. I expected she knew. It just wasn't pleasant to have my fears confirmed.

"You kept that from Edward?"

"I just didn't push for locations. Wherever you are, there is a serious lack of signage. Nice work, it's taken very little effort to keep my thoughts quiet Bella. The Arizona plan is excellent. Give him some leverage and you should come in safely. I have passports ready for you and some travel assistance at Heathrow when you get off the train. I'm so excited Bella!" She chirped. "I see you frowning Bella. You just have to give us another chance. I mean really, there's not much to offer the poor boy on the rez. We'll provide the best life possible for the two of you. Anyway, think of his. I've told Rosalie and Esme and we can hardly wait!" She hung up on me.

I began packing before sunrise and told Nelly and Stuart that I was ready to go. I thanked them and we said our goodbyes. I stayed one more night before they got us to the train station.

Everything inside of me was fighting me. I was leading my son into the hands of a monster. It went against my grain. Had I lost my mind? He was so tiny and fragile and trusting. I held him in my lap talking about the train absentmindedly as he gurgled back at me. He was able to smile at me now with his dark brown eyes. He already had his father's eyes to match his skin tone. I couldn't see much of myself in EJ. Mostly my hair and mouth. My fear pooled and gathered strength. All of the scary thoughts I had held at bay began to assault my mind. I looked to EJ and found a reason to be strong. He needed me. Not a zombie tuning everything out. He needed me to man up and face this. I choked back tears and swallowed the lump in my throat. I could do this. I had to do this.

I tried to hang onto fierce determination for the rest of the trip. Alice was good to her word. She had hired a nanny to assist with luggage and to hold EJ so I could sleep. I took help with the luggage and having her hold him while I used the washrooms. She was a great help when he didn't like changing planes in New York.

I immediately recognized the rental car from the desert dream. I shuddered and began my drive. It seemed all too soon when I arrived in the small canyon.

I didn't notice the beauty around me. I got out of the car, raise the hood and climbed into the back seat. EJ was crying and I noticed that I was crying right along with him. I pulled him into my arms and rocked him. It began to rain, but I knew the rain further up the valley was the real problem. I felt overwhelming defeat. I know this had been my choice. But I hadn't appreciate the limited options I had been given. I caught a flash of white movement out of the corner of my eye. I ignored it. Soon enough, Alice stood on one side of the car and Edward on the other.

"There's a flood coming in fifteen minutes Bella."

I wondered if we would stay in their collectibles forever. Would they turn us? Would Edward eventually kill us? I had to keep EJ alive. Whatever the cost.

"Please save us." I sobbed.

"On condition that you will not contact family or Quileute or anyone outside of the Cullen's." Edward demanded. I nodded solemnly. I put EJ back in his car seat and Edward carried us away while Alice took our luggage. A canary yellow Ferrari awaited just outside of the canyon.

Alice chirped about plans for EJ the whole way. Infant sign language, learning programs that incorporated EQ and not just IQ and fostered creativity and most importantly fashion. He would be outgrowing clothes she would have excuses to shop for a full wardrobe every three months and then every six months and then at least once a year. Not mention seasonal wardrobe's and that babies ruin clothes constantly. She had a nursery ready and knew I'd want to share a room with him so I'd just have to deal with nursery decorations.

Edward was quiet during all of her planning. We had to stop frequently for EJ and I observed the amazing patience that vampires possess. Not one word of complaint. They entirely understood. Edward seemed to warm to EJ. I saw him smile.

"Why are you smiling?" I said looking at sleeping EJ.

"His dreams."

"His dreams?"

"He is dreaming about colours and your voice. It makes him very happy."

I woke up to a bang. The front windshield was smashed with something huge and furry across it. Me and EJ screamed. I pulled him out of the car seat and held him to me. I looked out the window. We were out front of the Cullen house and a fight had broken out between the Cullen's and the wolves. I yelped seeing those I loved getting hurt. I couldn't make out what was happening. They were moving too quickly. My heart thundered in my chest and I wanted to do something. How much had I slept through?

I locked eyes with Carlisle.

"Make them stop." I said. I doubt I could be heard me over the noise, but he read my lips. I saw his face soften.

"STOP!" I heard his voice roar outside through the car.

As soon as the vampires stopped, the wolves paused.

"Edward, you're going to destroy our family chasing after this man's wife and child. As much as I want to protect you. I have to draw the line right here. Edward, leave now." Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper and the Denali coven join Carlisle. Alice stood between her family and Edward in indecision.

"I can't leave him all alone." She pleaded with Jasper. He shook his head.

"You said he will go to the Volturi. I have no wish to join the Volturi. Don't do this Alice." Her eyes brimmed with tears and she slowly walked up to him and gave him a small kiss.

"He's my brother. This isn't goodbye forever. Just for now." She turned and walked to Edward.

Edward's eyes were vicious as he glared with rage between Carlisle and a large wolf.

"You will pay for this." He said darkly to them all. He looked me in the eye. "You belong to me. I should have turned you already. I won't make that mistake again." He walked away. I felt sick.

Alice and Edward left. Carlisle and Jacob quickly arranged a meeting to discuss terms to the treaty. The rest of the wolves phased. I covered my eyes. EJ calmed.

I opened my door and got out of the car. All eyes turned to me and the bundle in my arms. But my eyes were on Jacob. There was silence. I couldn't move my legs, my heart was pounding. For a fleeting moment, I was concerned he hadn't been longing for me as much as I had longed for him.

And then he was by my side in an instant gathering the two of us in his arms. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my mouth, my eyes and my neck. He looked into my eyes with love and devotion. I looked down at EJ. He turned his attention to our three month old. Tears welled in both of our eyes. I saw pride and love. EJ frowned looking confused. But he usually looked confused given his age.

"EJ, this is your father." I introduced them with a smile.

"I'm pleased to meet you EJ." Jacob said halfway between a laugh and a cry. He looked at me for a second with his hands out. I nodded and placed EJ into Jacob's arms. Cheers and back clapping from the rest of the pack as the Cullen's watched on from the house.

I was passed around into bear hugs and saw new faces. I was confused to see Leah here. She caught the look and whispered in my ear.

"I'm one of the wolf pack now Bella." I saw she wasn't the only girl. A petite muscular girl who looked to be about sixteen was amongst the pack. But introductions came later. We were in celebratory moods.

"Are you ready to see Charlie? I know it's going to involve officials and it's going to be a lot of paperwork, but the sooner we get this done the better." Jacob asked.

I wasn't ready for the attention. I had already decided to tell him that I ran away to avoid Edward's advances. It involved the least lying. I could say that as soon as I knew Edward was leaving, I returned. The fact that EJ's birth certificate was British was going to be more difficult to explain.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Let's go."

"Leah, could you hold EJ for a moment?" Jacob asked. She smiled brightly and took him. Jacob swept me up in his arms and kissed me so intensely I lost myself in him and forgot about the audience. I had to pull away to breathe and then heard the wolf whistles and cat calls. I blushed.

"W-we should get going Jake." I said breathlessly.

"Don't think I've forgotten that message you passed to me days ago." He growled in my ear. The guys were hooting. I guess they saw that dream huh?


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**BPOV**

I sat on the couch with EJ and Jacob, surrounded by the jubilant pack waiting for Charlie and inevitably for the police to show up. As soon as we came through the front door, Jacob had called Charlie at work. And I waited anxiously on the couch. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say.

I heard Charlie screech onto the driveway. Seconds later the door flew open and Charlie's eyes swept them room landing on me before catching a glimpse of a baby out of the corner of his eye. He looked confused for a moment but I could see he put the confusion aside and went with the overriding emotion.

"Bella!" Relief. I jumped up as he ran to me and he took me in a bear hug. I couldn't remember the last time Charlie had held me this way. I didn't notice the pack filter out the front door. I did see uniformed officers show up at the front door. I cringed.

I tapped Charlie's shoulder and he let me pull back.

"Dad, this is Ephraim Jacob." I smiled at EJ. Charlie showed a whole range of emotions over his face. Joy at seeing his grandchild, concern that his daughter was a teenage mother and shock that he was a Grandfather. And those were only the most obvious emotions that I could see.

"Bella, he's incredible ... but you have to tell me what happened. Where have you been?"

"I panicked when I found out I was pregnant. And then Edward found out and threatened me." I tried to focus on the truth of my words. I did panic when I found out I was pregnant and Edward was a threat when I was pregnant and I did escape Edward. "I don't know why, but I just ran. The idea of him getting a hold of me and the baby or going after you two just terrified me. I just snapped." Charlie watched me carefully, frowning as he sought the truth.

"You couldn't have come to me? I wouldn't have let him touch you." Charlie asked.

"I wasn't thinking clearly. It was a lot to think about all at once." I said quietly. "He was just so angry when he found out. I didn't know what he was going to do us. I wasn't going to find out. He finds a way to go back to him. I needed to be as far away from him as possible while I was conscious that he was a danger. I was scared he wouldn't seem so bad in a weeks."

EJ started to squirm and I watched as Jacob gently bounced him. It caught Charlie's attention too and brought a small smile to Charlie's face.

"You came back? Why now? I'm happy you are, it's just, what took you so long to come back to your senses." Charlie asked. This was where I didn't have an answer.

"Dad ... it was just ... I wanted to ... and well..." I faltered. I thought about the camper I was staying in during the pregnancy until I was moved into the house just before EJ was born and the minor hardships I lived with there. "I wanted EJ to have a home with electricity that stayed on and water wasn't shut off frequently and had his own father. I'm resourceful, but it wasn't easy taking off on my own as a teenager finding a safe place for us and not knowing what was going to happen next. I'm tired." I stated everything as honestly as I could without details. Charlie watched my face.

EJ started sucking on his fist, letting me know he was hungry.

"Dad, he's hungry. I'll answer your questions as best I can, but just let me feed him first okay?" I asked him.

"Sure, you need to make up a bottle in the kitchen?"

"He doesn't like bottles." I laughed. And took EJ from Jacob and took a spot on the couch to nurse EJ.

"The lady I was with when he was born, breastfed her five kids. So she was helpful with that. But when I tried to introduce a bottle later, he screamed at the formula. But it can be peaceful, so I don't mind."

"Boob man." Jacob said and then looked away with Charlie to my amusement. Around Nelly, I'd gotten over my squeamishness quickly.

It was a long night of questioning, a short physical and finally sleep. Jacob insisted on sleeping on the couch.

EJ was up at 3am. I nursed him in the rocking chair. The bed on the farm had been firm and I had felt comfortable nursing EJ in bed with me at night there. But my bed was fluffy and soft. I was scared of an accident here. I felt a presence at the door.

"You can come in." I told Jacob. He stepped forward and I could see him in the moonlight.

"Can I help?" He asked me.

"You can keep me company. I was sleeping on a firm mattress before, it was safe to nurse him while I slept. But my bed is soft and fluffy. I'm too scared to share that bed with him." I explained, trying to make conversation.

"Where was he sleeping before he woke up?"

"I set him up on the floor on a blanket. I'll need to come up with something better tomorrow." I sighed.

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Charlie, but we set up a nursery for you. Would you come home with me tomorrow?" He pleaded. I almost laughed.

"Of course! I've been dreaming of you and missing you since my last night with you. Besides, it would be nice to have someone around for midnight feedings. He wakes up after four or five hours. He's so much better now. He was a hungry newborn. He woke me up every hour and a half to feed for weeks! Good thing he's as cute as his Daddy." Jacob sighed and stood over me stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry I missed that. I'm sorry I wasn't there to give you rest."

"I'm sorry you missed him. But I'm glad he pushed me hard. I've been too weak. He showed me that I could be tough. Without him, I wouldn't have fought and I wouldn't have realized how important it was to make it back to you. I would have given in, let you think I had died and quietly gone back to Edward. I needed to be woken up and he did just that." I smiled. I noticed Jacob had gone quiet.

"You would have gone back to Edward?"

"It seemed reasonable to risk getting hurt by Edward. But the idea of Edward hurting EJ shook me to the core. I let Edward catch us because Taha Aki told me when the right time was. I had to believe it would bring us to you. I'm starting to see how little I valued myself. But this little guy pushes me to be stronger. And when I see what I'm capable of, I find out that I'm not worthless. My guys are hero's. You saved me from Edward. And EJ has been saving me from myself." As if on cue, EJ grunted and finished nursing looking at me intently. "Thank you." I said softly. I wondered at all the things that I had learned about myself since I became pregnant with EJ.

In the morning, we spoke to Charlie and told him that Billy had invited me to move in. They had more space for me and EJ. Charlie had to agree, there really wasn't room. He was a little broken up about it and I assured him we were just a twenty minute drive away.

Billy hadn't seen EJ yet and Charlie understood when we left to go see him. I sat in the back of the car beside EJ in his car seat and took in the uniform trees. I had missed them. I felt nervous excitement anticipating seeing Billy. Pulling up, Billy was waiting outside with a smile standing next to Sue and most of the pack. I opened my door hearing Billy yelling.

"Where's my Grandson?"

"Wait old man." Jacob teased coming around to help me out. He had told me we would be driving CR-V in a couple of weeks. Whatever that was. I passed the car seat to Jacob and he carefully pulled EJ out. Jacob was grinning ear to ear as he handed the three month old to Billy. Who was in turn grinning just as brightly.

"Awwe." Rang out from a few followed by louder taunts making fun of those who had turned "sissy".

The atmosphere was a party. If the weather had been better there would have been a bonfire. It would have to wait for better weather.

I observed the pack had changed beyond growing in size. They were more structured. They were more disciplined.

"Come on Bells, grab your coat. Billy's got EJ for an hour. We get _couple time_ as he said it."

Eagerly I followed him out.

"So, where were you? Can you tell me about it?" He asked as we wandered the beach in the drizzle.

"Devon, England. You'd never believe it, they had werewolves in ancient times. They don't faze anymore. But all of the ones who have the gene but don't faze have indigo eyes." He smiled.

"Why don't they faze anymore and how do they believe the stories if they don't see fazing anymore?" His warm arm around my waist heated me. His touch was delicious.

"I don't know why they don't faze anymore, but it was interesting. I met the patriarch. His father left the land, but his Grandfather told him all of the stories and described the land. He felt a calling to the land and found it when he grew up. They don't believe the stories the way the pack does, but they have sneaking suspicions. They're tall and built and have tanned skin and the eyes and the ones with the gene are adventurous. They sky dive, snowboard, windsurf ... they're so active. And you can just tell how they move across the land, they just _belong_. It made me feel a connection to the pack. Taha Aki knew these people. I'd swear he was talking to the patriarch before I came because he wasn't all that resistant to a strange American Girl showing up pregnant on his doorstep looking for a place to stay." Jacob nodded.

"I guess so. When you put it that way."

"His wife was knowledgeable about pregnancy and so helpful. The family had grown up in London, but the locals sounded like pirates!" I laughed. "We went into Wales to visit some friends and they spoke Gaelic. It sounded beautiful. It made me wish that EJ would learn Quileute. And you should have seen all of the flowers during the summer. They grew everywhere, I was breathing in the scent of flowers all over the place." He chuckled.

"What?"

"You smell like flowers Bells." I frowned.

"Really?"

"Your scent, it's very floral but mouth watering. I breathe flowers whenever I'm around you." He kissed my mouth and we walked on.

"Jake, the pack seems different. More structured, but not as fun as before. What's going on?"

"There's so many of us, we had to create a stricter chain of command. From top to bottom. That way, no matter who's fazed, it's clear who is in charge. It was starting to get messy out there and the wolves were fighting." I considered this.

"So they can order each other around?"

"If needed. When a decision needs to be made and a wolf has command, then he or she makes the order. Obedience is absolute. We had some complications with it, but we have it under control now."

"Like what?" I couldn't imagine what complications would come of this but believed that there would be.

"Take Leah and Barbie. Leah had me, Sam and Paul in command over her. Paul immediately got ideas in his head that she was going to be following sexual orders. Sam was insanely angry when he saw what Paul had in his mind. Me and Sam had to set up guidelines such as respect for pack members." I shivered at the thought of what it would have been like for the two girls if they hadn't set boundaries.

"But it's showing up in human form too." I searched for him to elaborate.

"There are customs amongst the wolves. We are trying to observe them to a degree in both forms. It didn't matter so much when we were smaller. But with this many of us, all of us can be aggressive, we flow better if we observe as best we can in both forms. It brings order. We have decided that it shouldn't be a requirement of girlfriends. You don't know faze and so you don't know the customs and they don't come naturally to you anyway. They come to us with very little effort. Besides, I'm going to need you to keep a grasp of normal human customs to teach EJ. We can't have him being raised by a pack of wolves now can we?" He winked and we laughed together.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a better name." I said seriously.

"To be honest, at first I hated the name. But looking at him, it fits him. A bit like Quil and Embry suit their names. Without the faces to the names, they don't sound right. But Ephraim fits EJ. I wouldn't have considered the name, but I'm happy with it. Thank you." I looked at him unconvinced.

"You're not just saying that to appease me are you?"

He stopped me and pulled me to him. "No Bells. I'm saying it because it's true. I'm so proud of you. The pack are proud of you. We all remember the night I saw your arms with Billy. We remember when you were meek and scared and shrank away whenever anyone raised their hand or their voice. You've come so far. The pack were going wild celebrating and you stood by with a smile and you weren't frightened in the least. You escaped EJ all by yourself, no one did it for you, you did. And you hid for an entire year with a pregnancy and a baby and you've come back in excellent health. Do you have any idea how amazing that is?" He gazed into my eyes and then I heard an animalistic growl and he pulled me against him by my hips. I wasn't sure if I liked that.

"Um...Jacob...Are you okay?"

"I've waited for you all year and you sent me that dream a few nights ago. I'm going to devour you tonight. You shouldn't play with fire." My heart beat faster. I hoped it didn't hurt.

"Will I at least get foreplay? I haven't been getting much sleep and to be honest, I'm not all that horny."

He looked at me seriously for a moment and I shuffled awkwardly.

"Then why did you send me that dream?"

"Because it was the best way to remind you how much I loved you and I enjoyed that dream. I wanted you to enjoy yourself too." He cracked up laughing before kissing me passionately. "You're too much Bella! What will I do with you?" I then realized he was teasing me. "I loved the dream. Very inspiring before battle. Come on, we should head back."

**A/N: Class, repeat after me. Blue balls. **


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

A/N: I had to rewrite this a few times. I was indecisive where I was taking this next. Hope you like it. **Please vote on the poll that I've added. **

**BPOV**

As I got ready for my first night under the Black roof, I was rocking EJ to sleep singing a lullaby when I caught a glimpse of Jacob's back in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth. I was tired, but felt a small pang of want come up from nowhere inside of me for a brief moment. His back was strong, toned and masculine. It really had been too long and I did know the difference now. I wasn't a virgin anymore. I knew exactly what I was missing out on. A shudder passed through me and I turned my attention back to my infant son.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jacob looking around as though he sensed someone watching him. Of course, it had been me watching him. I forced myself not to look. _I need to sleep_. _Do not tease the wolf._ I told myself. _I need to sleep_. I repeated my mantra to myself to make sure I kept my focus. I hadn't experienced a full nights sleep since the second trimester of my pregnancy when it became difficult to sleep with large belly and restless legs. Once EJ went down I knew I would have four or five hours straight of blissful sleep. _Sex is a waste of my resources_. I reminded myself. I carefully kept my thoughts innocent refusing to acknowledge the tiny part of me, although I didn't care to know which part. But a tiny part of me that wanted Jacob right now.

EJ went down and I enjoyed the realization that he was sleeping in a different room from me for the first time. But would I be able to hear him if he cried during the night. I then noticed that someone had already thought of that and set up a baby monitor. I smiled and turned it on and blew a kiss to EJ as I left the room closing the door behind me. I turned on the monitor in our room and then went to the bathroom to get ready for bed passing Jacob in the hallway. My body didn't betray me. I really was tired. Sadly, as a new parent, sleep was as exciting as it got for me right now. I felt a little jealous that Jacob had skipped that part and he was getting the three month old who slept long stretches at night.

I came back to our room and Jacob was already in bed under a sheet with a bare chest that screamed for me to touch him. That would be fun at a later date, but I wasn't going to tease the wolf. We smiled shyly. He was feeling just unsure as I was. I turned out the light and climbed in beside him. We lay side by side with our arms touching. He reached out and held my hand.

"I love you Jacob." I whispered.

"I love you too Bella." He could hear him smile as he sighed.

_I stood with Taha Aki on a sky scraper in Seattle. The city looked post-apocalyptic. A heavy breath heaved out of me. I wanted to clutch EJ closer to me, but he wasn't with me. _

"_What..." I trailed off. _

"_Vampire rule." He said simply. "They have lived underground for their entire existence. They live nomadic existences with very little comforts. There is no need for that anymore. They have power, wealth and friends in high places in the human world. They have been laying seeds in high places for a decade now in wealthy countries. They will turn human weapons on cities ready with breeding farms already in place to replace lost numbers. Humanity will be enslaved, bred for feeding vampires. Those they call singers will be kept like cows, blood collected like milk each day. You are amongst those singers. Others, will be selected for breeding purposes. Your friend Jessica is amongst those selected for breeding. Others are drained and killed. _

_Edward and Alice will bring the Volturi to us. He is blind to your will and is putting them all at risk bringing them directly to the wolves. This is our one chance to end this future. Many of their guard will be here. We can strike a blow against them when the Volturi appear. If the pack fails, the tribe will be a prime enemy to the vampire state. A small and ineffectual resistance movement. I would hate to see my descendents live that life. I will explain more of this. But the pack must understand the gravity of the situation. This isn't just the future of our tribe at stake. If they can bring us down, the pack are the gate keepers. The Volturi have become too powerful. Do not let them continue past us._

I woke up stunned. I was hyperventilating. Jacob tried to calm me down. Finally I calmed down and told him about the dream. I was upset enough when I saw it. Seeing my big brave Jacob's scared face swallowed me whole. When he saw my reaction to his face, a mask of calm and resolve replaced his fear.

"It's okay. You caught me off guard. I knew we were going to have a large pack. I knew there was a big threat looming. I just wasn't prepared for the size of the ramifications of failure. I assumed it would ruin us. I never thought we would be saving the world Bella. I hope you can understand that." I struggled to take deep breaths as he stroked my back. I nodded.

"I think I need a drink." I said feeling a little shaky.

"I need you sober." I looked at him funny.

"I was thinking along the lines of warmed milk." He closed his eyes and shook silently with laughter. I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"My Bella, ever the rebel. Come on hellion. Let's warm some milk on the stove for you." I got up and shrugged away from his hands. I didn't appreciate being laughed at.

"Come on Bells. You see a dream of a possible future where vampires have taken over the world and you're response is wanting warm milk? It's frickin' hilarious!"

I snorted and pushed past him for a pan to heat my milk on.

"Fine, laugh at me. See if I share." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Just then I heard EJ crying. "Can you finish this?" I indicated the pan to him. He kissed my forehead and let me go.

I pulled EJ from his crib and changed his diaper. Then I nursed him and finally I rocked him walking around singing lullabye's to him. I felt Jacob's presence nearby but focused on getting EJ off to sleep. The idea of EJ bringing drug into the future that Taha Aki saw made my heart sink. I was going to do everything I could to make sure he had a bright and hopeful future to look forward to.

He dozed off and I gently lay him back in his crib.

Jacob was waiting by the door with a mug of steaming milk smiling at me.

"Your voice is still beautiful. You should sing more often." He said as we walked into the living room.

I shrugged trying not to blush. I then saw Billy looking at me.

"Hey." I said. He nodded but worried lines etched his face.

"Jake told you huh? I was told that there would be more information. This was just to help the pack understand the importance of the coming battle." I sipped from my mug of milk. It had just cooled enough to drink. It really was soothing.

"So, I see you go for the strong stuff when the stress gets you Bella. You'll have to watch that dangerous habit." Billy teased. I noticed that Jacob and Billy were drinking a clear but coloured liquid from crystal tumblers.

"I'm guessing that's not iced tea." I sighed. "That stuff burns." I wrinkled my nose. They chuckled and continued talking. It was more stressful thoughts that I didn't want to think about it so I ignored the noise. I focused on my milk, soothing and calming. Soon enough someone was calling my name.

"Bells honey, ready to go back to sleep?" I nodded. I could see Billy heading to his room.

We lay down in bed and my imagination produced visions of concentration camps for breeding, blood collection and killing. My stomach turned.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"No." I broke down and sobbed into Jacob's shoulder. He hushed me and stroked my hair. "I'm scared. What if I get this wrong? What if I don't do enough? I'm supposed to be strong here. I'm sorry." I attempted to pull myself together and swallow back my tears. "You're the one leading the pack and I'm the one that's crying because of stress. How ridiculous is that?" His chest rumbled under me.

"It's okay. I'm amazed how far you've come. You have nothing to be insecure about. I'm proud of you. Don't forget that." The stress still laid heavy on me.

"Jake," I whispered.

"Yes Bella?"

"I need you." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"No. I mean, I _need_ you." He froze still for a moment. I worried for a second that he didn't want me before he was suddenly hovering over me, his eyes smoldering with lust.

"Thank God Bells! I _need_ you too." His lips met mine and I tasted alcohol on his breath. I tasted much better on him that it did from a glass. It was arousing.

I moaned against his lips. His knee pressed between my thighs gently coaxed my legs apart. There wasn't any hesitation on his part and I was relieved to hold him and sink into his desires. I wanted to be carried away by him. He filled my senses with his kisses, his touch, his scent and his moans. It was felt so good to have him here to sooth me.

I gripped his hair in my hands and felt my body rocking to meet his. Soon our clothes had been removed and flung across the room. I was panting and felt an ache for him inside of me.

"Please. I need-" I hadn't finished the sentence when I felt him pressed against my entrance.

"You need what?" He whispered in my ear mocking me playfully. "Say it. Tell me what you need."

I was overwhelmed and couldn't have told you what was happening around me beyond his lips brushing tantalizingly against my ear as he whispered or his erection pressing against my ache. My thighs were burning and my hips were bucking.

"Jaaaake..." My voice was breathless and at a high soft pitch that I didn't recognize as my own.

"Say it Bells. I'll wait all night if I have to." He was killing me here.

He was looking for coherent words that I wasn't sure if I could formulate. I'd been waiting a year and he thought I could form words? What planet was he from?

"You! Inside..." I mewled. He groaned.

"I suppose that's close enough." And with that he thrust inside me. We both grunted. My voice was still at that pitch that I didn't recognize and seemed to come from someone else. He was halfway and we held still for a moment before he eased in the rest of the way. I slowly adjusted to being filled. It was a wonderful but strange sensation. It threatened to be painful and I held some tension braced for pain that hadn't come just yet. He could sense it. He waited. Slowly the tension eased and my body relaxed under his kisses. I felt him withdraw and gently thrust again. I hung onto his back. I was panting again and cursing myself for my voice groaning aloud. Just as soon as I had stopped the noise, he thrust again and I made a mewling sound.

"Oh fuck!" I whispered cursing my lack of self-control. _Bella shut up!_ I blushed at myself. I focused on reaching up to kiss Jacob's neck as we rocked against each other. Meeting each other. I ran my hands incredulously over his body receiving rewarding moans from him. I wondered if he liked my moans as much as I liked his.

A good tension was building in my muscles. It took my attention away from Jacob's chest. I hung onto his back, my own back arching up so that my body was pressed against him. I could hear my voice but couldn't bring myself to care. My whole body was throbbing and I stopped meeting his thrusts. I was lost in his rhythm. He built up the tension faster and harder and my body was responding without reservation. My soft high pitched cries became louder and I heard him moan in my ear. I was entirely absorbed in him and the sensations he was creating. I heard an animalistic grunt come from him and felt his entire body stiffen and a rush through my center. This pushed me over the edge and I bit down on him as I climaxed with him. I wasn't aware enough of what I was doing to be concerned that I might be hurting him. That would come later.

"Jake," I whispered as he rocked us coming through the climax bringing us back down. I pressed kisses across his body. It felt right. His body quivered over me with small shivers escaping him with each kiss.

He moved to get off me but I pulled my legs more tightly around him. My inner walls were still clenching intermittently and it still felt good to have him there. I wanted him to stay for longer. He didn't seem to mind resting on his elbows observing me.

"I love you." We both said at the same time and broke out laughing quietly.

"I had forgotten how good it was last time." I said.

"I'll have to make sure that you never forget how much fun this is." He said with a devilish grin.

We finally separated our bodies and spooned. His breath sweeping down my body eased me back to sleep. How had I forgotten how good that felt?


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

A/N: I had to rewrite this a few times. I was indecisive where I was taking this next. Hope you like it. I'm still watching votes. I'll let the votes decide the fate of the world when I write the Volturi arriving in Forks. LOL I hope this chapter isn't too dark.

AN part 2: Had to make some corrections but it's done.

**BPOV**

_A sat in a greyhound bus rolling through the lush green scenery of Oregon. Mostly young adults rode chatting quietly, watching movies and reading books. Some listened and danced to music near the front of the bus. I was experiencing this from someone else's body. Her mind spoke Italian and she was sitting with her American boyfriend heading to visit his parents. Her English was very broken.  
_

_A bloodcurdling scream came up through the bus. Everyone jumped up and looked around as I felt the bus pull over and slam to a stop. In the seat directly behind me, a man was stabbing someone repeatedly in the neck. His eyes stopped and met mine for a second. His eyes were empty and black. His face was calm. He raised the knife towards me for a moment before cocking his head to one side. My heart was beating out of my chest. Adrenalin was coursing through my veins. Terror gripped me. I realized then that my boyfriend had run towards the exit and was now struggling against the tide of people escaping the bus. The victim wasn't struggling anymore. _

_The man turned his eyes from me and went back to stabbing the victim in the neck. My boyfriends hand grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of my seat and down the bus steps. Everyone was yelling, but my English wasn't adequate enough to follow their words. _

_I watched distantly as chaos ensued. They battled to keep the man on the bus. _

_I heard a tremendous bang and looked above us. A wing fell from a plane sweeping across the highway causing a pile up. I could see the plane diving towards trees. _

_Screams came out and my eyes darted back to the bus. The man had decapitated the victim and was now climbing out the window with his hunting knife waving the bloody head around. I was frozen to the spot but my boyfriend pulled me running into the woods yelling at me to run. I saw an orange glow above the forest heading from the city we had passed through. What was happening? So many noises, explosions? Guns? Screaming? My boyfriend screamed at me to climb with him. He helped me climb a tree. We watched as another man, just as crazy as the man from the bus started beating people with a metal baseball bat. I recognized the man with the hunting knife, still welding the bloody decapitated head launched into victims. We were a few stories above the ground watching and praying that no one saw us. Then I saw the mushroom cloud over the city. I wasn't sure what was worse. Being a part of the unspeakable horrors I saw below me or being killed instantly in that mushroom cloud? I thought about how the following days would be for me after trying to escape this tree. I felt certain that this horror was everywhere. I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I watched murder, torture and rape play out on the forest floor as I cried silently with my boyfriend. Most people were panicking but others appeared to have had a switch turned in their heads. _

_I watched a pale brunette man reach for the man with the hunting knife calmly before biting into his neck and draining his body of all his blood. I fought a sob. _

_I whispered to my boyfriend I couldn't live in the world that I was witnessing. I didn't want to survive. He begged me to stay. I deliberated jumping to my death. Stay for him or end it for me?_

_I was back in my own dream body as I sat at a fire with Taha Aki in my own body. _

"_What was that?" _

"_If the wolves fail, that is the early days of vampire reign. Cities they plan to set up bases they plan to destroy completely. With fire and panic."_

"_The murderer in the bus?" _

"_A short order cook. A vampire with the gift to switch people into lunatics sets off random people in the area for his entertainment. In this case, the most violent. A farm is going up in the area and they would want the area clear before construction. Those that survive the first years will be the ones who truly suffer. _

_We must prepare in the possible event that the pack fails. Three elder's are next to phase. You will prepare them with this news. They are responsible for leading the tribe out of La Push and through the mountains. The elders are next in line for those of lineage but they will not fight in the clearing. They will stand with the tribe. They will be responsible for getting families out. Their years of experience dictates that they will know what difficulties families will face hiking through the wilderness. William Black, Susan Clearwater and Quil Atera will phase. They are not to fight, Jacob Black is still Alpha but the elders must be made stronger to do their jobs."_

I jumped up startled. I looked over to see Jacob sleeping. I had been home for a few short weeks. I had received our first instructions for preparing for war through my dreams. I had seen a beautiful future in which the pack had won and we lived idyllically just days ago. I had shared enthusiastically with everyone. I didn't want to share this one with them. After seeing the good future, a part of me had thought it meant that we were going to win for sure. But maybe we were too cocky and self-assured. I relived images of the gruesome decapitated head and shuddered. It almost felt as though I had lived it. It was tattooed in my mind and I felt physically ill. My head was hurting from the dream but my stomach churned on the memories. I suddenly jumped up and ran to the bathroom throwing up into the toilet.

"Bella?" Jacob asked from the doorway before coming to pull my hair back from my face.

I threw up again.

"What's the matter? Are you pregnant?" I laughed darkly and pulled myself up to the sink. Wouldn't that just be wonderful, I thought sarcastically. I rinsed my face and mouth before brushing my teeth.

"No Jake. I just got to see an alternate outcome to the battle. The one where the pack loses. I saw what happens in Oregon."

"What happens in Oregon?"

"I saw it from a tourists eyes. Genocide, torture, murder, decapitation the list went on and on. A bloodbath. We will need to quickly mobilize the tribe. Live on the run. Those next to phase are three elders. They are not to fight. Their experience will lead them to know how to prepare families to run." I watched his jaw drop and his eyes widen in surprise. He shook his head as though trying to think of more important consequences.

"The elders? Does that make my Dad the Alpha?"

"No, the elders will not fight. They will need to prepare a tribe to hike through mountain ranges. I think that's more than enough work for them don't you?" I spoke with a small sad smile. He held me closer.

"How will they manage that? Is that even possible?" He frowned and screwed up his face as if he were trying to figure out a complicated mathematical equation. I giggled.

"Good thing that's Billy's, Sue's and Old Quil's problem." Jacob froze.

"Sue and Old Quil? And wait, Billy's in a wheelchair. How can he lead people up a mountain range? Oh God, they really are going to go wolfy. My father is going to be in my head! I'm going to be in his head!" Jacob groaned and then turned and mashed his face into a pillow. "How the hell do I lead my father with his thoughts? He can throw me for a loop with a single look?" He grumbled out of a pillow. I imagined sharing minds with Charlie or Renee. My entire body tensed. This might be worse than the Volturi. But it had to be done. We couldn't mobilize La Push and any other stragglers we caught up in our exodus without their help, I was sure. Maybe this was for the best?

"How were we planning on getting Billy out of La Push and through the mountains in a wheelchair Jake?" I pointed out. He sat up and blinked at me.

"How do we move babies small children up steep inclines?" He asked. I smirked.

"The old fashioned way. I've seen slings, wraps and hiking back carriers. I saw a lady in Arizona once with twins in this wrap carriers. It's just going to be an issue with parents with lots of small children. They'll need volunteers. Also, the elderly. We'll need to find volunteers for the elderly. Oh this is getting more complicated. This is the elders responsibility." I said with a wide grin. "And I'm happy to have them relieve us of this burden." I stood up and shrugged on a dressing gown.

"Where are you going?" Jacob straightened up in the bed and watched me.

"We have news for Billy. He's going to walk again." Jacob coughed.

"Bella, I aged to about twenty-five. How old will the elders look?" He swallowed hard. I shrugged.

"I expect they'll become younger. Why, are you worried about competition?" I teased him. He growled at me and he left to wake Billy. I called Sue and Old Quil over before heading into the kitchen to make some coffee.

The sun was rising when we settled around the kitchen table. Each had a coffee in hand and were joking with each other as Jacob held EJ and we looked at each other nervously.

"So Bella, tell us about this dream." Old Quil smiled at me. I stepped haltingly to the table. I had no idea how they would react. I took a seat and took a sip of my coffee avoiding their gazes before I began.

"I saw the destruction that would hit Oregon. It was a bloodbath and it was disgusting and you need to know how horrible it will be for our people if we sat in La Push if the pack fails against the Volturi. If we fail, there will need to be a mass exodus the moment the bombs start dropping. I don't think they'll immediately descend on La Push, but the tribe will be a target. I was informed that the three of you will be held responsible for mobilizing the families and bringing them out of here." The three of them listened intently. Old Quil and Billy looked down at themselves but said nothing. "You're not currently in any state to be going on safari it would seem." I said as though answering the two men's self doubts. "The three of you will be phasing soon. Jacob is still Alpha and the three of you will not be at the fight. You will be stationed with the people." I said quickly as they coughed and spluttered and tried to speak over me. As I finished, Billy commanded attention first.

"That would probably set me back twenty years! I just want to see Sarah again!" He was clearly emotional. "Do you know how many years it takes a wolf to learn to stop phasing?" He asked but it sounded more as though he were threatening me. I winced under his glare. Jacob stood closer to me defensively. Then, as if taking cue to Billy finishing his points.

"Exactly! I only stopped phasing fifty years ago. Do you know how hard it was for me to start aging? I'm old and tired. I was old and tired before I stopped phasing." Old Quil admitted. Sue was quiet but determined. We somehow expected her to speak next. She whispered.  
"Your children have made so many sacrifices and you're complaining? Grumpy and whiny old men. Don't you think I was expecting to see Harry in a few more years? Clearly, Taha Aki understands that the kids need our years of human experience to lead frightened people. Now man up and shut it." Sue growled at them. It was clear where Leah Clearwater got her determined genes from. She took my breath away and made the two old men bow their heads in shame.

"I don't want to look the same age as my children anymore than you do. And if you admit it to yourselves, you're scared of having children and grandchildren in your head. That they'll find out your not as old as wise as they think you are. They will respect you because you are good men who have good lives even for all of your mistakes. No need to upset Bella over this. Thank you Bella." She finished her coffee. "I will be going home and thinking about all that has happened. Jake, should I inform my children or would you prefer a pack meeting." He stood to my side swaying with EJ in his arms looking the picture of paternal strength.

"I should imagine you would prefer to talk to your children yourself Sue. They're about to go into your head. Anything you need to speak with them about before the pack has access to your thoughts would be good to share first." A look dawned on Sue's face and then on Billy and Old Quil's. "You have some secrets I take it?" Jake asked gently but solemnly. Old Quil chuckled.

"I have three hundred years worth of secrets boy. I can remember hearing rumours about the pale faces in the east." I doubted Jacob and Sam has dropped the information that Old Quil used to be a wolf. "How do I get roped into these things? I was just getting used to having my thoughts to myself." He laughed. "It might be pleasant to share a pack mind with women. Only problem is two of them are my descendents and one is little more than a child."

I shuddered at the thought of a three hundred year old man sharing my thoughts. But then, isn't that exactly what Edward had done? Suddenly, it struck me as creepy for the first time. I was so glad that he never had access to my head.

"Do you think you could give me any warnings about secrets that might upset people?" Jacob asked seriously.

"Joshua Uley was my husband before Harry." Sue said quietly. "He was a wife beater and alcoholic before he cheated on me, divorced me and married Sam Uley's poor mother. Of course, neither of us pressed charges and Harry was there for me. When Joshua got bored of her, he went for Embry's young mother. Each of us was younger than the last. Even though she was younger, she was smarter and refused him. He got angry and raped her." She stated with a pained expression. "He disappeared after that. I thought he would stick around to rub it in her face. Embry is an amazing boy, no one wanted him to think any less of himself because of what his father did. We followed her lead and pretended he didn't have a father. We decided that we the elders would try our best to be his father. We've always tried to be involved in his life. This secret will come out when we phase. There are many secrets within the tribe that we keep. But this is the one that would hurt the pack."

The table was dead silent. I looked up and saw that Jacob was shaking. He caught my eye and handed EJ over to me.

"If you don't mind, I would prefer to approach Embry with this information myself first." Jacob said tensely holding his hands in fists at his sides. Old Quil nodded.

"We chased Joshua Uley out of town. He returned and a few times and we chased him off. He finally stopped coming. The problem with Joshua was that he was a warrior without a war. He took all of his own hurts and projected them outwardly. The Uley's each generation have been big and aggressive and those that don't imprint make a mess of things. Embry doesn't seem to have the same personality traits of Joshua. Sam is much like Joshua, but Leah incredibly has always kept him on his toes. My fears were answered." Old Quil stated his opinion.

EJ moaned in my arms and I rocked him gently while swaying side to side. He seemed to sense the pain of these honest words.

"I know how Sam and Embry will react. But how will Leah and Seth react Sue? Should I meet with them too first?" Jacob asked unsure of himself. His shaking had subsided. Sue shrugged.

"How was Joshua Uley allowed to wreak so much havoc on La push before anything was done about all of this?" Jacob demanded angrily. Sue spoke up as Billy and Old Quil blushed under their tanned skin.

"There wasn't nearly as much information out about abusive relationships. It was harder to recognize. And it's embarrassing. I went to great lengths to cover up what the man I loved was doing to me. Harry kept going to Charlie to get something done about Uley and Charlie kept trying to get me to press charges. That was how their friendship started. You must remember how difficult it was to get Bella to acknowledge that she was in a bad relationship. Besides. Have you been watching to see if Edward to see if he has found another girl to hurt? It was a painful reminder seeing Charlie's daughter going through what I had been through." Sue looked at me knowingly and I gulped.

Charlie had seen a situation in his own life that resembled mine. I felt bad for drudging up painful old memories. But it must have given him hope seeing that Sue had moved on to a happy relationship.

"It must have been scary seeing your daughter dating the son of the man who used to beat you." I said blankly, feeling a little numb. Sue's eyes were filled with tears she held back as she nodded her head.

"Leah was so young and he was older and so much bigger than her. It looked like a pattern was repeating at first. He never left a mark on her. I watched carefully. I knew banning her wouldn't do any good. But as she became more familiar with him, she taught him how to treat her and he had hell to pay if he lapsed. I realize now that they were both designed to be vampire killing machines. No wonder she can hold her own against him. Anyway, story time is over. If you want to talk to them, you should get this done." Jacob nodded and said his goodbyes to them before giving me a long kiss.

"I'll see you soon. I love you." He told me.

"I love you too." I watched him jog away seeing the sun a good distance above the earth now breaking through the clouds of light drizzle. I overheard Old Quil and Billy arguing.

"I'll be tripping you in no time Billy. You mark my words." A smile lit my lips. I was looking forward to seeing a young and walking Billy. I was sure he could give Jacob a run for his money.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Asian Dub Foundation – Fly Over**

AN: Time to deal with the fall out from the coming changes heading to the pack.

AN 2: There isn't imprinting in this story, just girlfriends. I've made the pack less secretive without imprints. Otherwise there would NEVER have someone to share their life with. Leah is with Sam. I haven't written who Emily is dating but she is being inserted into pack life with a role more similar to Kim and scar free.

Life is full of seemingly random acts. I wonder if it's fate or a bunch of decisions made by different people that we don't know and all of these things colliding with each other that make things random. If you watch rain begin to fall in Phoenix, there are clusters within inches of each large dry spaces. Rain doesn't come down evenly. My mother told me story about her old high school before her parents moved to Forks. She was taking a short cut home through the school field late one night trying to make it before curfew. She saw a classmate carting gasoline. She came up beside him and chatted with him before asking what the gasoline was for. He told her he was going to burn down the school. She laughed giving him words of encouragement before hurrying to get home. Sure enough, he ended up burning down the library that night and went home and buried a knife in his older sister's stomach.  
I always preferred the random acts theory. People making decisions that bounced off each other creating cause and effect. In the supernatural world, everything was a part of fate and wrapped up tightly and we had to get things right. We had to do things according to fate or we would fail.

As the pack gathered at the Clearwater's home, I played sat EJ on the carpet and rolled an orange to him. He preferred to roll fruit because it smelled and tasted more interesting when he gummed on it. The pack had no idea what this emergency meeting was for this evening. They could tell the elders and Jacob and Sam were shaken up. Jacob called the meeting to order.  
"Bella had a vision last night. Two issues came to light. The first is that we need to be ready to mobilize La Push if the pack were to fail. Which brings up the second issue, whose job is that? The elders." He gave a small smile to Harry, Old Quil and Sue. "The elders are here because they are the next three wolves to phase." The pack was silent before a few pack mates chuckled at what they thought was Jacob's joke. Jacob solemnly shook his head at them. "We've been monitoring them today and all three have temperatures above average and have been experiencing growth, muscle mass increase and reversals in the aging process. It seems to be happening more rapidly than my own transformation or that of the rest of the pack. As soon as we measured that they were growing and experiencing reversed aging we began legal proceedings because they will need new identities. It will raise too many questions if Elders in our community become youth overnight. Quil's mother will be taking legal titles from Old Quil. I'll be taking legal titles from Billy and Leah will be taking titles from Sue." This was where Jacob took a deep breath and looked to the elders. "The elders are privy to information around La Push dating five or more decades back for Sue and Billy. We have to admit at this point that Old Quil counts back in centuries as he used to phase." Gasps breathed out from the pack.

"You didn't tell us?" Someone asked. EJ squealed in delight and clapped his hands gaining attention from the pack. As he got older he was becoming more active and interrupting more.

"They understood that I was a little embarrassed. I wasn't supposed to stop phasing until the next pack showed up and I handed over the reigns. My old soul got tired. I stuck around for the last pack already and they were done after only ten years. Black and Uley wanted to age with their wives so they pleaded with me to keep phasing for their children. I shouldn't have agreed to help them. I should have stopped phasing so that I could age with my wife when I was twenty. But other wolves kept imploring me to let them age with their spouses and I seem to have missed the boat. It's hard to tell a wolf that he can't age with his wife." Now I was interested. Jacob and Sam hadn't mentioned this to me.

"I knew you were a part of the last pack, I didn't realize they weren't your first pack. How old are you Quil?" I asked him.

"Well, we didn't mark time the same way. I'd guess white people were mostly puritans based on the descriptions we heard. Quil Jr's grandmother was my fifth wife. She was so much like Seth, I just didn't have the heart to ditch her." My mind tried to wrap around the idea that Quil's grandfather was born sometime in the seventeen century. Yeah, that hurt my head. The pack was quiet as we chewed on this piece of information. I managed to catch Jacob's attention and looked at Embry. He sighed.

"There's concern about some of the information that more directly affects the pack. Joshua Uley. There's a good chance we're going to be faced with information that I don't think we want to know. We're fortunate that as Billy, Sue and Old Quil have pointed out that Uley's sons aren't like their father. Sam and Embry are decent, strong and we're proud to have them in our pack. I'm not sure how much to share with the pack. I don't know how much or how likely the details are to come out." Jacob admitted defeat looking to Billy. I watched the faces of the pack.

Sam and Embry were surprised but timid at the prospect of what exactly made them nothing like their father and why would that need to be pointed out? My heart went out to them.

"Based on watching this pack, new wolves don't filter their thoughts at all. Sue still flinches Jacob." Billy spoke up. Old Quil shifted in his seat and Sue blushed looking at Billy.

"Really?" She asked him. He shrugged.

"I need to know what you're talking about." Sam demanded. EJ was getting restless and I took note it was time for his dinner. I handed EJ over to Seth and went to heat up some carrots I had steamed for him earlier.

"I think Embry and Sam would prefer to wait to hear the details without an audience. We just want the pack to have a forewarning as it seems we may not have much time before the elder's phase." Jacob suggested. His face looked worn with concern.

"Embry, I don't know about you, but the pack will know sooner later. I don't want to wait. What do you want?" Sam asked trying to hide his impatience. Embry looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment. I sat down in front of Seth and EJ, using Seth as the highchair as I began to feed an enthusiastic child. I watched Embry out of the corner of my eye. He shrugged.

"Sure, I want to know why he abandoned us."

"Me and Harry Clearwater chased him out of town." Old Quil spoke up. "Sue was his first wife. One day we noticed him drinking out on his front porch like he often did but then we heard him when he went inside the house beat the snot out of her." Sue was blushing looking as though she wished the ground would open up and swallow her. Seth and Leah watched their mother torn between compassion for her and anger at what had been done to her.

"We called the police but sue wouldn't press charges, she was full of excuses for him."

"Why NOT?" Leah glowered now on her feet clearly enraged. Sue waved Old Quil off and explained patiently in a detached way. Protecting herself from personalizing the memory.

"Just like Bella, I saw what I wanted to see. I had invested so much in this man and I loved him and I believed that he loved me. What I didn't look at was that I was scared what he would do to me if I left him. I would lose my home and belongings because he would probably burn my stuff. He had isolated me from friends and family, which meant that I was homeless if I left him. He had me convinced that I was a loser and that I would be hopping from bed to bed around La Push to keep a roof over my head if I left. Those girls you hear about sleeping around here, they're homeless, without a high school diploma and without job experience, that's what they're reduced to. They go home with whatever horny male offers a warm place to sleep that night. He'd managed to get my parents to sign off for me to get married at seventeen and I dropped out of school. I had to hide my birth control from him, I knew I would never leave if I had to protect my child. He hunted through my stuff. I hid my pills with the household cleaning products. Leah, don't look at me like that. I'm not pathetic, you didn't live it. You had two parents with college diploma's growing up. My parents taught me different lessons than we taught you." Billy stared down Leah. She crossed her arms and sat back down with a scowl on her face.

Old Quil continued his story. "Harry worked on getting Sue to leave Joshua. Getting her to trust us. It took time but once he cheated on her, Joshua closed the deal for us. When she left, I took care that Joshua stayed the hell away from Sue. The problem seemed to be solved. He remarried Sam's mother and she seemed to be okay. We should have taken a closer look but other things were happening in our own lives at the time. Next thing we knew he'd raped Delilah Call." The pack were silent, I didn't look up to see their reaction. I focused on feeding EJ. "She was just a kid but was she ever brave! She didn't know me or Harry, but she knew we took care of things for Sue. She came straight to us and demanded he was removed from La Push. She was somewhere between fear and rage. She didn't say what he did because everyone who saw her march from her house to Old Quil's house could figure it out. When we found Joshua he had a black eye and a dislocated shoulder down at the clinic. He admitted to what he'd done and then called her names because she'd gotten violent when he got off her. Embry, you should see her right hook. He demanded to bring Sam with him when we told him that he had to leave La Push. When Sam's mother found out what Joshua did, she refused to leave and refused to hand over Sam. He let out a stream of threats. She stood her ground. She didn't have a job, an education or way to pay her mortgage. He took her to court for custody, she convinced the judge that he was a danger to Sam and won full custody but it took years." He smiled at Sam. "She did good by you Sam." From the look on Sam's face as he clutched Leah into his side, he couldn't fully appreciate just now.

"Delilah packed up and left for the Makah reservation days after she spoke to us. We found out from her father that she was pregnant. She had no intention of letting Joshua know or meet or hear about Embry's existence. She preferred the reservation thought she was a slut than for Joshua to have any legal rights to Embry. She returned once we assured her that Joshua wasn't coming back. Most impressive is that neither of these ladies spoke ill of Joshua to their sons. Janice had a soft spot for Joshua, so that wasn't a surprise. But Delilah despised Joshua from the word go. I think he got frustrated by the rejection. He didn't hear no from a lot of women. For her peace of mind, it might be best to not say anything to Delilah or at least wait until Embry turns eighteen. You both have strong mothers that you can be proud of. I want you to both focus on what special women brought you up." The room was silent.

Embry and Sam looked stunned and sickened. The rest of the pack seemed to be empathetic but struggling to accept all they had heard. Embry suddenly jumped to his feet and dashed to the door. Quil and Jacob seemed to see it coming because they were the first to intercept him.

"Let me go!" He growled.

"Where are you going?" One of them asked.

"I have to talk to Mom. How could she keep this from me? How can she look at me every day?" He pleaded.

"Because you are not your father. You are Embry. You are a part of her and she loves you." I said as I picked up EJ. "It's very nice that I love EJ's father and I'm happy to give him a child. But at the end of the day, look at him." I smiled at Embry bringing EJ closer for him to look at. "He's beautiful, he's adorable and he's wonderful. And so are you. When your mother looks at you, she sees her baby. She wouldn't have kept you around for seventeen years if she only saw reminder's of your father. It's a testament of how much she loves you that she would keep this from you. If I were her, I wouldn't want you to know a goddamn thing about it either." The pack clearly didn't understand. The only other mother in the room was Sue and she spoke now.

"Embry. You stole her heart from the first kick. She worked hard to make sure that you were a sensitive and strong young man. Are you going to go over there and break her heart? You never would have known if it weren't for the pack."

Sam stood up and approached Embry.

"I have to say, if you feel in anyway responsible then you must feel that I'm in some way responsible for Joshua's actions." I saw Embry's jaw drop.

"I don't, I just... it's different...we're brothers but..."Embry started to say and trailed off.

"We were already brothers, but now we're family. We'll work this out together. Agreed?" Sam asked Embry. We all watched quietly as EJ started to squirm in my arms. Embry stared at Sam for what seemed like an eternity. Finally he nodded and they hugged slapping each other on the back like men do.

The room relaxed instantly and the pack began to interact and move on. Jacob interrupted across the room and the room dropped to silence to hear the Alpha speak.

"This is the biggest secret that will be realized. But remember, there's probably more. Meeting over. Let's eat."

Emily and Kim began to bring food out of the kitchen and the chaos ensued as the wolves descended en masse. EJ had had a long day and was clearly tired out.

"He needs to sleep now." I told Jacob as he shovelled back food. He nodded but continued to eat. I took EJ to Sue's bedroom and began to sing to him.

I decided I'd had enough of old lullabyes so I sang Dreaming My Dreams by The Cranberries to him.

It was easy and sounded soothing with my small feminine voice. I wished I had a more powerful voice.

_All the things you said to me today  
Changed my perspective in every way  
These things come to mean  
To much to me_

Into my faith you  
And your baby  
It's out there  
If you want me  
I'll be here  
It's out there

I'll be dreaming my dreams with you  
And there's no other place  
That I'd lay down my face  
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you

It's out there  
If you want me, I'll be here  
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you  
And there's no other place that I'd lay down my face  
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you

I put him down in the pack n' play I had set up earlier but didn't bring the monitor. The guys would hear him and let me know. When I came out of the room I jumped a foot to see a few guys standing watching me.

"You scared me!" I whispered angrily. They looked sheepish.

"How come I didn't know you could sing?" Quil Jr asked. "I never even heard it in Jacob's thoughts."

"Because she's very private about it. I try not to share stuff she keeps private." Jacob explained.

"And I'm not exactly ready to take center stage. EJ like's it when I sing. So I sing for him." I told them as I passed them.

"Lucky little dude. I want an angelic voice to sing me to sleep every night." Jared said wistfully. "Kim, how's your singing voice?" He was gone.

I buried my face in Jacob's arm because of their embarrassing exaggerations.

As soon as they left me alone and the blush had left I looked around for my dinner. It didn't come as a surprise that the food was all gone. The pack had massacred the meal and only the salad remained untouched by the pack. I shrugged and served myself some salad.

"What were other packs like?" I overheard Paul asking Old Quil.

"Smaller packs were relaxed, but the larger the pack the more disciplined they have been. Largest pack I saw was twelve I think. And had a clear pecking order like you have. The order and discipline needed by the time there's twenty-five minds sharing a consciousness means this pack is going to be a sight to behold. I'm glad I'll live to see it." I looked around. I didn't have to ask what the pecking order was around here. It was obvious from body language where everyone fit in. Lowest ranks weren't even joked about as puppies, they were foetuses. I wondered if by twenty-five the lowest rank would be reduced to primordial goo. It was fascinating. They continued talking as I observed the gathering.

Sam and Embry were talking intently. I hoped they found comfort in each other as brothers.

I remembered what Old Quil had said about Sue flinching.

"Billy, what did Old Quil mean about Sue flinching?" I recalled Jacob had understood what he meant.

"When someone walks towards her and reaches for something, she jerks away and winces. I have to assume she flinches because she's expecting someone to hurt her. I expect her mind replays Joshua backhanding her. The pack will find out." My mind flashed to memories of Edward yanking me around.

I realized I winced when I thought about it.

I wanted a good dream tonight. I didn't want to bring the pack more bad news.


	21. Chapter 21

I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.

**Madonna - Gone**

**Chapter 21**

JPOV

"Any time now. I can feel him on the air." I commented to Sam. We stood in my backyard waiting impatiently.

"Old Quil has gone through the changes so fast. Why is that?" Sam pondered.

"It's not his first time is my guess. I wonder what his mind is like." Until now, we had tried not to talk about the impending addition. We were worried about Old Quil finding out what we were thinking later. We kept our thoughts at a minimum.

"One of us should phase. It's Barbie and Paul on patrol right now, he's probably teasing her." I sighed.

"Yeah, why is Paul patroling with Barbie?" Sam asked me.

"She wanted to go see a Miley Cyrus movie so she switched with Quil." We both shuddered at the thought of watching Miley Cyrus at the movies. The girl was poisoning the pack mind. We used to think about the Playboy channel.

I was a little scared of sharing mind space with Old Quil. I was supposed to retain my leadership as Alpha with an ancient man under my command. How does that work? Besides Billy coming next. I just didn't feel right being in charge of the elders. Why couldn't Billy be Alpha? I wanted to avoid this as long as possible. But Sam was my second in command. He was in the same position as I was. I wasn't sure where the three elders would fit in the pecking order of things.

Initially pecking order was by ancestry and then by age. As Embry was unsure of ancestry, I had taken him under the Black name. Uley's had been second in charge for generations, so we continued this order. But soon challenges began. Stronger, faster, better fighters challenged those higher in the pecking order. Unfortunately the truth was that we were a pack of wolves and I couldn't find a better way to find order than to allow these challenges. Many challenges were solved with signs of submission. But some came down to fights. After numerous challenges our pecking order stood as follows. Myself, Sam, Paul, Embry, Quil, Jared, Seth, Daniel, Leah, Collin, Brady, Javier, Etu, Lenno and Barbie. Each of my pack knew their place. Leah and Daniel had fought and traded places multiple times. I was surprised Seth had been held his rank so well and Jared hadn't held over Embry and Quil. He didn't seem to be too concerned with rank. Leah was bothered by young Daniel and Seth holding rank over her. But she was a good deal smaller. Only Barbie was smaller than Leah. She should have been impressed that she held rank over Colling, Brady, Javier, Etu and Lenno. She proved that size didn't determine rank.

All this said, we had settled into a dynamic. Where were Billy, Old Quil and Susan going to fit into this pecking order? Or would they, as elders, exist outside of this pecking order? For all intents and purposes, Bella was a part of our pack and yet she existed outside of the pecking order. Neither above or below. But she didn't share out thoughts. The spark in the air indicated that someone had phased. Sam and I looked at each other before turning away to remove our clothes to phase.

_'Life's what you make it!'_ Barbie was singing crap music through her head gleefully knowing how much it would disturb Paul. His mind was screaming and begging and pleading for her to stop.

_'Barbie, do you have to torture the man?'_ I asked her feeling empathy for him. She shared an image of him remembering a centerfold from Hustler magazine that he saw this afternoon only he had replaced the woman's face with Barbie's.

_'Paul! It's Barbie!'_ We were disgusted. He covered his face with his paws and whined.

_'I didn't mean to. I was hanging out remembering something, then she phased and her face just popped up in the picture.'_ I saw the moment replayed from his perspective. I wanted to smack him upside the head. But I could see that mistake had been payed for with half an hour of Barbie singing preteen songs in her head.

_'Didn't Quil mention that he was switching?'_ Barbie asked, referring to Quil Jr.

_'Nope.'_ Paul grumbled. He clearly felt his manhood had been ravaged in all of this.

_'Barbie, go. We'll take care of patrol.'_ As soon as she left, a stream of x-rated thoughts sprang forward.  
_'Oh God, that was torture.'_ Me, Sam and Paul exclaimed shock hearing Old Quil's graphic thoughts release in a whirlwind.  
_'I haven't shared my thoughts in a long time and then I saw Paul's images from his porn. I've never tried to withold thoughts from a young girl before. I never had to share a mind with a young girl before. I couldn't interact and keep those thoughts to one side. I think I'm going to need some practice before I share minds with Leah and Dinah. And why are you calling her Barbie?'_ Old Quil stumbled on his thoughts almost stuttering. He slowly became more coherent. I felt bad for him. I saw a small taste of previous packs in his memory where they openly shared x-rated thoughts. That was us before Leah. Now we were always on guard.

_'Calling her Barbie helped remind us how old she is even if she looks like an eighteen year old centerfold. She was playing with Barbies still last year. The mantra became her nickname. Besides, she doesn't like to get muddy.'_ Paul explained feeling embarrassed still about his gaff from earlier. Old Quil marvelled at having to deal with these issues as Billy and him had wondered about this but hadn't deigned to get involved in pack consciouness.

It was strange sharing minds with a new wolf that wasn't new. Old Quil wasn't freaking out. He was just having to adjust to a pack with a different situation. He noticed that our minds worked differently than he was used to. He could see how our technology had sequenced our thoughts differently. Despite regaining a youthful mind, our thoughts were more rapid and seemed more random. He was also more aware of how little we knew about the scenery. We couldn't name many species of plants even for their uses but we knew hundreds of celebrities, books, movies and random information. There was a marked difference between how his mind worked and how the information age affected our thought processes. He deliberated his thoughts and decisions seeking balance. We filtered and scanned information for relevance and accepted what we considered a logical solution shortly. His mind was like time travel.

It was a sort of reassurance that someone so much older was having difficulty with a girl sharing his head. He was curious as to what Barbie added to the pack given that she didn't like getting muddy. We explained her temper and how we were harnessing it. Old Quil was reminded of a wolf generations back that Barbie was related to._ 'Docile and even tempered. At least until he got hurt. We had to pull his wolf off the shredded vampire remains to burn it. He was pure instinct when triggered. Of course, there were two other vampires and he ignored them entirely. He was too busy ripping apart his attacker.'_

_'We should go for a run. Want to help cover Barbies patrol?'_ I asked. He knew the route all too well. I saw many previous nights that he had patrolled this route. Only he remained constant. The landscape had made minor changes over the years. He remembered old battles and wolves and characters drawing parallels to relations. It was surreal to see other generations of Alpha's looking so much like Billy in his memories. Old Quil chuckled inwardly remembering watching Billy growing up and struggling to not obey Billy as he automatically submitted to his Alpha. Billy would be the only replica that Old Quil had seen that didn't become Alpha. And even now, he wasn't destined to be Alpha. His son was Alpha. As we ran routes, Old Quil shared memories of forgotten times, forgotten customs and ceremonies he hadn't dared to share. Most had been forgotten in the late nineteenth century with the influx of pale faces, disease, war and hunger. While the tribe had always been small, it had been strong and robust.

One memory was particularly poignant. His first wife. We saw images of a girl close to Barbie's age. He had been watching her for years before he reached his sixteenth summer. He knew others were interested and he needed to make sure his interests were known before her father married her off. Otherwise he would have been too afraid to go through the customs. She was too important to him to procrastinate the way that he procrastinated about other things. He remembered sweetly bedding her for their first time. He watched her grow round with his child but halfway through her time she grew sick. They tried to help her but she grew weak and deteriorated. Eventually she went into labour too early and they had not choice but to sit by and watch helplessly as she and their child died. His mourning triggered his first phase. At the very least, they didn't have to hide the wolves when he was young. It wasn't a secret. She was burned into his memory. I felt all the more grateful for Bella and EJ.

We had been watching Old Quil's memories for sometime before he came to his memory of meeting the Cullens. They had a human girl with them that Edward kept in his embrace. She was clearly uncomfortable and squirmed away from him. During negotiations Ephraim included inquiring if she wanted to stay with the Cullens or if she preferred to stay with the tribe. Dr Cullen explained her parents had died and they had not intentions of abandoning her. Ephraim had asked Georgina if she wished to stay with the tribe or stay with the Cullens. She had gone with the tribe to most of the Cullens relief. Only Edward seemed disappointed. She had been covered in bruises. But as any young white woman of her day, she never considered marrying into the tribe. She married a pale face trader by the name of Douglas Swan agreeing to not speak of all she knew after the Cullens had left. They had gone to Seattle and many years later her son had moved to Forks to start his own family where Charlie was born and later Bella. Old Quil had been disturbed to see Edward have another daughter from that family in his clutches. The same brown doe eyes staring out him as they had before. It mu_'_st have hurt Edward to have 'the girl' choose the tribe over Edward a second time. Watching Old Quil's memories brought home one lesson. History really did repeat itself.

We practiced phasing with Old Quil before determining that he was safe to join the rest of the population. Before he could leave another mind joined us, sooner than we had expected. Like the rest of us, this mind was experiencing pain in their first phase. Billy had grown taller, although we didn't usually see how tall he was, Old Quil and Billy remembered what height he had been before the wheelchair. The pain was new and different, but Billy was used to pain. He had felt it physically and emotionally since the day he lost his wife and was confined to a wheelchair. He could handle pain. His life had been painful for so long that it was a bitter friend. He was more stunned by the sensation of being mobile than by experiencing phasing into a dog. For the first time in almost ten years he was walking. Of course, he was walking on all fours, but he was joyful. He only wished that he could have Sarah with him. It hurt to see and feel just how much he missed her. Walking was rehashing all of his memories and emotions. Things that he locked away to focus on his day to day life. I saw just how much Harry and Charlie had done to keep him functional as a father with twin daughters and young son after the accident.

_'How old was Mom when she had Rach and Rebecca?'_ The twins were slightly older than Bella, but he looked younger than Charlie when Mom died.

_'Seventeen.'_ Old Quil and Billy laughed. I suddenly understood why Charlie and Billy took the teen pregnancy in stride. Charlie was nineteen when Bella was born and she was the same age when she had EJ. Billy was the same age as me when Mom had the twins. It wasn't what they had hoped for us, but they knew we would manage. We never really talked about Mom. I'd never stopped to think about how old they were when they had us

_'You're thirty-six?' _Sam asked, I could hear the back of his mind doing the math.

_'Thirty-seven.' _Billy corrected. Sam was twenty-four. I decided it was time to get back to task. We needed Billy to begin learning control. We began practicing phasing between human and wolf. He adjusted just as well as I had but still had much work to do.

_'I haven't felt this good in fifty years. Leave Billy with me, we'll take care of this. You two get back to your girlfriends.'_ Old Quil reassured me and Sam. _'When are you proposing to Bella, Jake?'_ Old Quil threw in. Sam and Leah had their wedding plans well under way. I remembered my last conversation with Bella about marriage.

_'Renee has beaten it into Bella's head that she won't marry straight out of high school because the commitment is too big.'_ The guys laughed.

_'Dude, she gave birth to your son. Isn't that a bigger commitment?'_ Paul asked. I remembered her exact words.

_"I'd rather tell Renee that I boiled live kittens than tell her that I got engaged."_ I recalled her face and words verbatim for them.

_'I had no idea Renee was that scarred from her divorce from Charlie.'_ Billy chuckled.

_'Any conversations involving the words 'marriage' with Bella end with her looking like a deer caught in headlights. Maybe when she isn't so skittish. I'd love my ring on her finger though.' _Old Quil seemed to be the most confused.

_'Things sure have changed among young people since I last phased.'_ He commented.

I phased back to human and enjoyed the walk back to Bella and EJ. It wasn't far. I could hear her singing to him as she made dinner. All of the words were nonsensical and he was squealing in delight. I could already picture them with him in his highchair.

"Hi Bells! 'S'up Little Man?" I pulled EJ out of his highchair and greeted Bella. Bella used to be so serious whenever I left and until I came back. But leaving her with EJ, he seemed to keep her smiling much of the time. I appreciated help keeping my Bells smiling. We ate dinner as a family but missed Dad at the table. Billy wasn't going to be ready to eat in the house for a least a week, so I brought out helpings for him in the backyard. EJ laughed hysterically seeing the big dog trot over to us. We averted our eyes while he phased and hung out at a distance while he ate. I almost couldn't remember Dad walking. It was so strange to see. He had tears in his eyes.

"I wish I could have this but look my age." He laughed.

"It is a little weird having my boyfriends father look the same age as my boyfriend." Bella grinned. I was only an inch or two taller than Billy and he had a marginally heavier build.

Bella and EJ stayed outside while I went into clean up the dishes from dinner. I listened inside as Bella asked questions about Billy phasing for the first time as she rocked EJ off to sleep. Billy left and Bella brought EJ putting him down for night. I thought about everything I had seen in Old Quil's and Billy's memories. The fact that Bella wasn't willing to marry was bothering me now more than ever. I couldn't just let this go. It had been immature of me to so easily drop the subject. Bella needed better reasons than she had given me. Fear of her mother and fear of commitment were both things that we could work though. At least, I thought we could. We really needed to talk about this. I smiled to myself. She begged me for sex the first time and I wanted the wedding. Our roles were reversed once again.

**AN: Hope you enjoyed it. I wasn't sure whether to skip over the elders phasing but decided to add it.  
**


	22. Chapter 22

**My Brilliant Disclaimer:** I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.

**Bedouin Soundclash - 12:59 Lullabye  
**

**Chapter 22**

AN: The votes are in and I will keep my word. I may write an alternate ending as a separate book at a later date because I'm a destructive force of nature. I have some sap for you. For those who like fluffly, enjoy! For everyone, suck it up but stick around.**  
**

BPOV

When Jacob came to bed I could sense that he had something he wanted to say that I wasn't going to like. I mashed my mouth to his and let my fingers creep down his body hoping to distract him from his purpose. We both loved sex and I could silence the noise of the day in his bliss. As I raised my body over his to begin grinding against him, his eyes snapped open and he pulled his mouth away from me. He grinned at me.

"You little minx. You're not getting out of this this time. How do you know when we're going to have a talk?" He mock berated me with amusement in his voice. I shrugged and tried to bite back the mischievous grin creeping to my lips. He took deep breaths and look down his body at the tent planted in the sheets. He gave me the evil eye.

"Great, now I have to have this conversation with an elephant in the room." He smirked.

"That's rather generous of you isn't it?" I said bursting into laughter before smacking my hands over my mouth due to my loud laughter and my innuendo. A blush struck me and I buried my face into my pillow as Jacob pulled me up to face him. I could hear him quietly chuckling over me.

"Hey, no need to start with the insults Bells! I just want to talk. You have amazing skill at distracting me from what I'm trying to say. Now sit up and listen to me." He said sternly but his eyes held nothing but adoration for me. My stomach flipped anticipating what he had to say. It wasn't hard to sober up and listen to what he had to say.

"I need to know why we can't get married. I want the whole world to know that we're together. I want to announce it off the rooftops. I want everyone to know you're mine and I'm yours. I want EJ to have married parents. I don't see why we have to wait for a predetermined date set by Renee. And I'm more than willing to work with you through a fear of commitment." His words came slowly at first but built momentum and were soon rushing out. "We are more than just girlfriend and boyfriend. You are the love of my life. You are 'it' for me. To be honest, it hurts me and scares met that you aren't willing to do this with me." His voice broke on the last sentence. I felt a dagger in my heart as guilt struck me immensely. _What was I doing to him?_ Didn't he have enough stress to contend with without worrying about me leaving him the way that my mother had left Charlie? But Renee was married too.

"I'm not going anywhere Jacob. You don't need to scared. I'm just screwed up!" My voice choked up and old fears resurfaced. "My parents married and it didn't protect Charlie from anything. I'm like Charlie. If you ever left me, you'd break me. He's still not over Renee." I had no idea where that came from. Was that really what I was so afraid of? It was a piece of the fear. "And I don't want to be that girl. Smart girls don't get married straight out of highschool." He watched me thoughtfully prodding me to continue. "I need you too much as it is. I'm not ready for everyone to know how important you are to me." I blushed realizing how whiny and pathetic I sounded. "And I'm just not ready to trust you so publicly." I finally admitted. It hurt. It hurt me and I knew it would hurt him. I had learned to trust him my bed and with my child. But I had drawn a line and I wasn't ready to hand it over. "Oh God I'm such a bitch!" I moaned and threw myself down into the bed seeing the pain I had caused on his face.

The room was quiet and the lump choked me and I felt my pillow soak with silent tears. I felt shame, fear and frustration.

Finally he tugged gently on my shoulder indicating for me to face him. I grimaced as I turned over to look at him.

He kissed my forehead calmly and spoke to me. "You're not screwed up. You're perfect the way you are..." He trailed off as I raised an eyebrow at him. The small smile returned to his lips. "Okay, maybe just a little screwed up happily agreeing to have my baby but deciding marriage is too much commitment. But I love you with everything I have screwed up anyway." I almost laughed through my fading tears. He pecked my lips with a kiss and continued talking. "We are not Renee and Charlie. I'm not leaving you and I don't think you're going to leave me. Whether you were married or not, it would still hurt either of us if one of us left." I nodded, hearing what he had said. Listening was much harder than burying my head in the sand. It took self-control to hold myself still and listen to his points. I wanted to hide from my feelings. He continued. "We are those kids that got together right in highschool. They can see the baby already, we're living together already. In a couple of years, we'll be common-law anyway because the law will reconize that we're essentially married. Do you think your mother or my mother were dumb?" He asked me. I felt heat spread across my face.

"I don't think they made the smart decision. Or that I really made the smart decision. I just can't bring myself to regret EJ or you." I admitted lowering my eyes.

"Are you embarrassed by us?" Jacob asked in a tight voice that broke my heart all over again. I knew he wasn't talking just about me and Jacob. He was asking if I was embarrassed by us, by EJ and by our parents.

"No!" I exclaimed hating the idea that he thought that. "I'm just embarrassed by what people will think of me. I'm already the stupid girl with the ex-boyfriend you guys view as a wife beater. Add married and pregnant highschool drop out and why not slap red neck across my forehead!" I labeled myself with a huff. Jacob's eyes widened dramatically as he pieced together the puzzle he was looking at. "I had good grades. I'm smart, I didn't expect things to go this way." I added. "It's no ones fault. But it still hurts." He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

"So a wedding would be the nail in the redneck coffin. I have an old red chevy truck with some charm to add to your redneck persona that I finished fixing up. When we have more kids we can name them Jim Bob and Mary Sue." He teased me holding a hand out as if he were seeing them across a sign as he named our imaginary children. I couldn't help but break into something that was half a laugh and half a sob.

"I'm being pretty ridiculous huh?" I sobbed trying to make my bottom lip stop trembling. He squeezed me tightly and kissed the top of my forehead reassuringly yet again.

"We'll take care of that diploma and we'll even get you into a college. Even if we have to go the long way around, we'll take care of this okay? I'm not marrying a redneck anymore than you're marrying a drunk Injun. Okay?" He grinned at me in the dim light from the beside lamp. I pushed myself closer into him for the first time during this discussion. It felt good as my sob shuddered as I was able to take a deeper breath. He paused for a minute before making his last point.

"I need you. And I'm more than happy to let everyone know that I need you. It's part and parcel of you belonging to me and me belonging to you. But I think this ties into your little inferiority fears. I think you rock, EJ thinks you rock. Everyone who cares about you and there are lot of people who care about you I have to say- but everyone who cares about you, thinks you rock. So what if everyone knows that we need each other? We have an entire pack of werewolves, imprints and family who already know that. It's not a secret Bella. Can't I just shout it from the rooftops?" He pleaded with big puppy eyes. "Will you marry me?" I chewed my bottom lip apprehensively. He had relly torn through all of my points. How on earth would I tell Renee? Or anyone else for that matter?

I was laying flat on my back in Jacob's arms laying on his side barely hovering over me. I looked up at him into his deep dark brown almost black eyes. I was almost lost in them for a moment.

"You should get a job as a motivational speaker. That's one hell of a pep talk you have there." He cocked his head at me threateningly, knowing that I was teasing him at this point. I heard a low growl rumble in his throat.

"I still haven't heard yes. There's something else." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"The battle is coming. If we rush into a wedding, it feels final. Like I'm giving you a goodbye. I'm not giving you permission to die." He pulled me in for a passionate kiss taking my breath from me leaving me somewhat confused and filled with lust when he finally pulled away.

"Duly noted. If you marry me, you are not giving me permission to die. I have to say, I'm relieved that you're not willing to part with me." He teased me. My lower lip trembled again as the thought of losing him.

"Miss Swan, what is your answer?" He asked mockingly with a small undertone of serious concern.

"Yes. I'll marry you Mr Black." I answered breathlessly wanting to kick myself for sounding like such a sap. Jacob's face lit up like a child seeing a christmas tree and a sea of presents on christmas morning. It felt good that I had made him happy and I was warming to the idea of letting everyone know that we were forever.

His mouth caught mine and he kissed me as passionately as the day I came home with EJ. My senses were lost in what he was doing to me. My body heating under his touch. His mouth moved down my jaw and behind my ear causing me to shiver.

"Jake." He continued kissing me not realizing that I wanted him to listen. I used a more demanding tone to capture his attention. "Jake!" His head snapped up from my collar bone to look at me.

"I want you to claim me." I held his eyes. Something passed behind his eyes that I didn't quite understand before he bit his lip and groaned.

"Oh God Bells, you have no idea what you do to me." He rushed forward and swallowed my conciousness in a kiss. His hands possessed and teased my body. He took me like a man dying of thirst in a desert would take water. Then he began to slow as he gave measured kisses over my body. He teased me and worked me until I grew impatient and grasped his erection. I was done waiting for him to finish claiming me. I was claiming him. He raised an eyebrow as I looked him in the eye. I hadn't taken the lead since our first time together and suddenly, I liked the idea. I liked the idea very much.

"Lay down." I demanded. He gave me an impish grin allowing me to push him back against the bed. I didn't give him a chance to think quickly swirling my tongue around the head of his manhood. I groaned feeling his hips jerk up towards me involuntarily. A whimper escaped his throat and I felt control over his heavily muscled frame. I reveled in having control over Jacob. I brought my mouth over him and tried to push myself down and fight back my gag reflex. Sucking back I lasted a few seconds before I had to withdraw. I looked up to see his reaction. His eyes were rolled back in his head before he looked down at me in surprise.

"Bell-" He started to say, but I didn't want him to finish. I cut him off quickly dragging my tongue spread flat against his full length. He groaned and that sounded so good to me. I watched him writhe under my mouth as I took him in again. I felt lust and love flood my emotions and moaned loudly against him. He reacted to the vibration more than to my head bobbing. I couldn't help laughing. He shot me a dangerous look that made me pause. My breath caught and I almost felt like I was in trouble.

His hands shot out and he pulled me up the bed. He was suddenly hovering over me and thrust himself inside me. I grunted in pleasure my eyes falling closed. He stopped inside of me after the first thrust and I looked up at him. He smiled coyly at me.

"Don't play with me." His voice said mockingly bringing a smile to my lips. I opened my mouth to banter back when he slowly dragged out of me. My breath hitched in expectation before he thrust back into me causing us to both moan together. He began to kiss me and drove into me firmly. As he moved faster and harder I couldn't remember what I was going to say before or what exchange had passed before.

"Oh God Jake! I love you!" I cried as the intense rush built to a point that I came undone underneath him. I forgot the sleeping baby in the next room or wolves out in the woods. I felt and knew only Jacob possessing me entirely. As I cried out he grunted my name invigorating shivers ran through me listening to his voice dripping with love and fulfillment. I held him and rocked my hips against him as I felt him cum just after my climax. We held still for a moment before he rolled off of me. We held each other recovering our composure. I looked over to him and found his deep eyes watching me. For some reason, I felt shy and blushed under his gaze.

"Thank you." I said. He cracked up laughing.

"Always a pleasure, never a chore." He replied cornily. He held me and we drifted off to sleep.

* * *

A week ago Billy and Old Quil had phased on the same day. We all expected Sue to phase the next day or so. But her body seemed to take much longer. Old Quil looked much the same only much younger. Billy looked slightly taller, younger and mobile. But he hadn't changed that much. Sue, was changing a lot. Looking at pictures from when she was a young woman, she looked very different. The bone structure in her face was changing. From a soft and delicate whisp; to a fierce but feminine Xena. She was almost six foot tall by now and we all wondered how much more she could possibly change. As a young woman, she had a slight almost girly frame that hadn't filled out much with age. But now she resembled Leah. She still had her eyes, much like Seth. They held a gentle gleam. But she looked more like a female warrior and not small and motherly anymore. She was catching looks the same way that Leah caught looks. I saw the guys in the pack biting their lips and turning away when they saw her now. They were clearly having difficulty remembering her age and position. The funny part was that Sue didn't seem to be all that aware of her changes. She still behaved much like a mother hen.

Billy, Old Quil and Sue had been moved to cottage a short distance from the rest of the houses on the reservation hiding away for the time being to avoid questions. She ran the cottage and cooked and cleaned and bossed the two men around as she the clock on her body was reversed. Her attention was on her children and on the pack. She still viewed herself as the mother.

We told Charlie and others that the three of them had business on the Makah reservation and might not be back for a long time. We had stories prepared to introduce our new young adults. Distant cousins. The only thing we were waiting for was for Sue to phase. It appeared as though she had started fighting phasing. Old Quil told us that he saw her shaking in the kitchen with her fists in tight balls. As though she were willing it to go away. The guys had tried talking to her. Leah had tried talking to her. Now Old Quil seemed to think I should talk to her. I wasn't sure what I had to offer a more experienced woman. But he used an analogy that I had been through labour and knew enough from my experiences to help her. I took his word for it and knocked on the door to the cottage.

EJ was with Jacob and I felt oddly naked not having a baby to hold or house work to keep my hands busy. I realized I truly was domesticated. Billy came to the door and gave me a warm greeting before he and Old Quil (who wasn't looking so old anymore) excused themselves for "patrol". Sue watched me come in warily before sighing and taking a seat in the living room. I could smell food in the oven. She usually reminded me of Seth. But this guarded reaction reminded me of Leah. Defensive.

"I suppose you've come here to talk to me as well. I'm not fighting the phasing." Sue insisted with a chuckled disarmingly. If I didn't trust Old Quil's experience, I might believe her.

"Humour me then." I replied tritely. I doubted she would open up to me. She sighed.

"I feel the burn and the pain come over me. Then it eases away after a few minutes." She explained.

"What are you scared of?" I asked fired at her directly.

"I'm not scared." She frowned.

"What don't you want them to see?" I didn't ease up. I fired another question quickly.

"I'm not hiding anything. They already heard it from Old Quil." She stuttered.

"But hearing it is different from seeing it isn't it?" I fired again.

"And what would you like EJ to see of your time with Edward?" She spat back at me.

More quickly now I fired my next shot. "Nothing. You do know that you can't hide this?"

"I can hide it as long as I damn well please young lady!" She snapped at me.

"You're worried they'll realize how pathetic you are after they see you let him hurt you?" The less time I gave her the more honest the answers were. But I cringed inwardly seeing her wounds reopened.

"Screw you!" She hissed under her breath, her eyes flying daggers at me. She started to shake. I backed away.

"Sorry Sue." I whispered to her. "Billy!" I yelled. He ran into the house instantly and looked from me to Sue. She was shaking violently. Old Quil arrived and without hesitation grabbed Sue and Billy helped drag her out of the house. They almost made it outside before one of her hind legs took out a section of the wall connecting to the back door. I watched in stunned silence before checking on the three cassaroles in the oven. They needed more time, so I took a seat and waited for the food to finish. I couldn't let dinner burn.


	23. Chapter 23

**My Spectacular Disclaimer:** I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.

**Puddle Of Mudd - She Fucking Hates Me  
**

**Chapter 23**

**AN: ****I thought I'd show some pack perspectives before the battle.  
**

**DinahPOV**

"He's _staring_ at you again." Katrina giggled in my ear.

I looked up. Matt sat two seats to my left. I blushed profusely and looked back to my page. Etu and Lenno laughed quietly at the back of the room. "Shut it or I'll cock block you for your entire miserable lives." I whispered at volume only they could hear. I didn't bother to look back and see their glares.

Our teacher droned at the front of the classroom writing on the board. I wasn't really paying attention. Something about cells? I couldn't care less. It had lost meaning since I started phasing.

I liked Matt. But I was nervous. I'd seen into the minds of the guys and they were into things that I just wasn't ready for. Etu and Lenno seemed ready for sex and I was thinking about my first kiss. I wasn't sure if I was immature or if they were precocious. They called her Barbie constantly and that gave her the impression that they thought she was immature. I wondered if Matt was as mature as Etu and Lenno. Or would he settle for a first kiss. The girls in my class were talking about things I didn't think I wanted to do. Even if I had been witness to it in the guys minds. I didn't want that. I fidgeted in my seat. It would be nice to go back to before I was part wolf. My wolf was ready. She was ready in the dead of winter and she scared me senseless. It was a good thing she wasn't interested the rest of the year.

I stole a glance at Matt. He had dark brown tightly curly hair, bold brown eyes that melted me and the perfect smooth and balanced face. Of course, I looked like an eighteen year old and he looked his fourteen years. We'd look like an odd couple. But that wasn't what had me worried. A lot of boys thought I was hot. The pack had made that clear to me despite their efforts to keep me in the dark. A lot of boys stared at me. But I liked _this_ boy. Katrina and Melanie said he loved me. Of course, they were very silly and I knew that was complete foolishness on their parts. I suspected that he might have a crush on me but was intimidated by me. Or I feared that he might be like the guys in the pack and just want to get laid. Only, Jake or Leah or Sam would be pissed off if one of the guys hurt a girl's feelings using her just for sex. Well, some girls just wanted to get laid too. That didn't bother them. Matt wasn't in a pack. No one would give him hell if he used a girl just for sex. I didn't just want to make-out with him or have sex with him. I wanted Matt to be my boyfriend. I was going to be very careful I didn't get used. If he used me, I'd kill him. Literally. And Jake would be very disappointed with me.

That couldn't be normal. The guys and Leah didn't acknowledge that they would kill someone for using them. At least I hadn't heard them think that before. My wolf was very quiet. I rarely noticed her except for where it came to getting hurt. Physically or emotionally, if I was hurt she was impossibly loud. She wouldn't stand by while her human was hurt. Her issues with protecting us and my temper made for a bad combination in my opinion. The guys seemed to constantly be aware of how their wolves were feeling. For the most part, I couldn't sense her. It was like she was usually napping. But thinking about Matt using me, she knew she would kill him. I would. I had thought about this carefully. It was time I talked to Jake. I had eluded to this before with Leah. But Leah looked at me like I was the crazy little sister. Jake had assured me that I could come to him with things about my temper. He wanted me to keep a handle on it. I was probably stronger than Leah and Daniel when I lost my temper. But I'd never rise in ranking because I'd never get angry enough to fight for the spot. I just didn't care about that.

My thoughts were interrupted by Katrina poking me and giggling some more. "So, are you?" She whispered in my ear.

I looked at her confused."Sure?"

"You are going to give him a hand job?" She asked incredulously in a high pitched whisper. I could hear Etu and Lenno snicker behind me. I clearly hadn't been paying close enough attention to what Katrina had been saying. I blushed again.

"W-what? I-I don't-you know I wasn't-listen I'm not going to." I dropped my head in my arms on my desk hiding from my humiliation. High school sucked.

**SamPOV**

The sun poked in and out of the clouds intermittently. I'd been asked by Old Quil to control who phased this afternoon. He only wanted the older wolves around. So it was Billy, Old Quil, me, Jared and Paul. It would have been Jacob, but he was watching EJ while Bella came to help us with Sue. I would show Jacob what happened afterwards. Paul decided to patrol not wanting to wait around near the log cabin for Sue to fail to phase yet again. Every time Old Quil tried to prod her to phase, she shook and then relaxed into her matronly ways again. As if nothing had happened.

_Bella's been there. She'll know exactly what to say that will push Sue's buttons. Sue might not talk to her for awhile afterwards, but Bella can do this. I just hope Bella knows how to rip a bandaid off. _Old Quil tried to reassure us.

We couldn't wait around indefinitely for Sue to phase. Old Quil was convinced that Sue was fighting it at this point. _I have to believe that with all your years of experience you know what you're talking about. I can't picture Bella hurting Sue's feelings or making her angrier than the rest of us have tried. _I thought conscientiously.

As I waited I thought about Leah. She was going to fight with us against the Volturi. How could I let her fight? What if she got hurt? She'd hate me forever if I made her stay back. I had enough ranking over her to order her to stay. But at what cost? Leah was so worried about proving herself to the pack. Only Barbie was smaller than Leah. But Leah didn't need to prove anything. She was strong, beautiful, smart, fun and she had the ability with her younger brother to give us hope. The hope I remembered from Harry. He had given me hope whenever all seemed to be lost. When it seemed that the only options were unethical, he had hope and he continued the ethical route because it was the right thing to do and because he had hope. Leah didn't need to fight an army of vampires to prove herself to me.

_That bitch doesn't know what I'll do to HER! _A female voice exploded into our heads. A jamble of thoughts and images. Bella's voice rung in our heads.

_"What are you scared of?" Bella fired coldly in a tone that I didn't recognize from her mouth. _

_"I'm not scared." Sue defended._

_"What don't you want them to see?" Bella fired faster still, not giving Sue time to edit her thoughts. Random images and feelings gurgled within the depths of her memories. _

_"I'm not hiding anything. They already heard it from Old Quil." Sue stuttered as familiar pain edged her voice._

_"But hearing it is different from seeing it isn't it?" Bella struck._

_"And what would you like EJ to see of your time with Edward?" Sue spat venomously at Bella. Pain was briefly written on Bella's face followed up understanding and recognition. Sue's stomach dropped realizing that she had just been cornered. _

_Bella recovered quickly and slammed Sue with her next question. "Nothing. You do know that you can't hide this?"_

_"I can hide it as long as I damn well please young lady!" Sue snapped without filtering her thoughts._

_"You're worried they'll realize how pathetic you really are after they see you let him hurt you?" Sue felt volatile rage sweep down on her and she fought her hardest to control all of the hurt and pain. _

I was amazed that Bella had pushed Sue that hard and that calmly. This wasn't the unaware and non-participating Bella that I had met at the Swan residence little over two years ago. The inevitable question came.

_What are you hiding Sue? Get it over and done with now and we'll work to keep your privacy from the rest of the pack. We need you functional though. _Old Quil asked gently.

We were assaulted with images and feelings of pain and humiliation too rapidly to make sense of anything.

_Do you think you could slow that down Sue. Maybe start at the beginning?_ Billy asked cautiously with a sense of foreboding. I felt like me and Jared and Paul shouldn't be phased.

_Stay!_ Old Quil thought sternly to me.

Sue collected her thoughts. _When he started hitting me, it seemed almost like something that I expected. _We saw images of Sue as a kid watching her father slap her mother around as the woman cringed and cried. _I figured other people didn't talk about it and hid it better. I started to have suspicions it wasn't like this in other peoples homes later. _Sue shared a memory of Joshua backhanding her, sending her back into the sink. He grabbed a sandwich off the counter and sneered at her._ But it got worse. He was pushing limits past what my father used to do. He said and did things to humiliate me daily. I wasn't allowed to leave the house. He refused to have a phone in the house. I was living in a constant state of fear. I still have nightmares. I'm not over it. I'll never be over it. The worst thing out of the entire mess is that I still love him. I believed him every single time he said he'd do better next time. I still want to believe him. I don't want my kids to see that. I love Harry more than Joshua now. It just frustrates and embarrasses me that I don't hate Joshua. I've tried. Can you help me go back to human now. That's enough for one day.  
_

Paul stood still on patrol. The rest of us stood in a circle around Sue in the backyard of the log cabin. Our thoughts were quiet as we digested all that Sue had told us. _How could she still love him?_ It just didn't make any sense.

Old Quil started helping her with phasing back to human. I could see in his thoughts that he was going to be working with her controlling her thoughts. I'd never understand why he wanted us three there for this. But I trusted his wisdom. I could tell there was so much more that Sue was holding back from us. I didn't think I wanted to know and hated to admit that I appreciated that Sue kept the details of my father from me. Sue phased out with Billy and Old Quil. The three of us stood and thought together.

_We saw what Old Quil remembered from when Sue was with Joshua. It didn't look nearly so bad. Bella knew exactly what was going on in Sue's head. How much is she and has she been hiding from Jacob? She still has nightmares. Should we say anything to him? _I waited for their response.

_No. Unless Bella starts to have problems, leave it alone. _Paul thought solemnly. _Bella and Sue want to keep it private. Let them. We're not trauma counsellors. I'll finish patrol. Seth doesn't start for another hour. _

_I'll go with you. No one patrols alone remember. _I reminded him. We kept our focus on our surroundings for the next hour.

It hurt to know a vampire had been hurting a human right under our noses and we had done nothing for so long. If a regular man could brain wash and take over a victim, why had it taken me so long to see that a vampire could? We were harsh when we didn't understand why Bella allowed a vampire to control her that way. Back when she had seemed like extra weight. But since then she faced her demons. She had become the pack dreamer and warned us of what was to come. She had born the Alpha a son whom she had protected bravely since before he was born. She had been strength for our Alpha and ultimately for the pack. Today she had gotten into Sue's head after our repeated efforts had failed. She cooked constantly for us only getting a break when Leah's cousin, Emily came down to visit and cooked with Sue at the Clearwaters. Even if she hadn't proven her value, she was the Alpha's mate. The pack would cherish her because she was their's.

**JPOV**

Sam finished sharing what had happened with Sue. I was surprised by Bella's behaviour. I could see that it needed to be done. I just hadn't seen her behave so coldly to someone before. Sue seemed to be almost ready to share minds with the pack after working with Old Quil. Quil Jr and Leah patrolled La Push. We had a lot of ground to cover so we were discussing issues phased to save time. It was hard to share pictures of places and times and faces while in human form.

I shared my dealings with Barbie with Sam. She had shared all of her thoughts with me. She had no idea how bad her temper was. She could rival Paul or Embry when she was angry. I was glad that she didn't anger over much. Annoyed? Yes. Angry? Rarely. Sam agreed that we would need to speak with the elders. I was beginning to think that she might need to hold off on dating until she was older and had more control. We couldn't set her loose like this on the defenceless young men of La Push. Eventually one of them were bound to break her heart and I just couldn't accept her killing someone in a fit of rage. Which brought me back to Collin. He'd slowly fallen hopelessly moon eyed over the girl. I wished Barbie would notice him. He wouldn't break her heart and he'd be a lot harder to kill if they had a misunderstanding. But her thoughts were on Matthew Freeman. A part Quileute and part black boy in her class. He seemed like a sweet and smart kid. But how much could I really know about him. I'd have to talk to Etu and Lenno and find out their thoughts on Matt. Collin was slowly coming apart hearing Barbie's thoughts on Matt. Something about a hand job? Barbie wasn't going to do anything like that for some time I didn't think. And if she thought she was, her brother's would be sure to have a conversation with whoever expected her to give them one. I sighed for Collin. I remember being in love with a girl who didn't notice me not too long ago.

Yes, the pack was emmersed in High School students. And Bella wanted back into high school. I'd looked into furthering her education. There were some options with a GED and then community college and maybe going as a mature student in a few years. We would work out the details. But she seemed to be more optimistic about the possibilities after talking to Leah about it.

We were still working out plans for the battle. We knew they would strike head on.

_We will need to move to raised land heading out of Forks. I want them on the lowland over here. _I showed images in my head of where I was considering.

_No. _Sam shook his head. _Paul lost his temper there. I found out that you can get backed onto a trail. There are tourists in that area. How about this? _He showed me images of two other places. I laughed.

_Are you stealing military strategy from a Hollywood movie? _One of the images was cut with slices of the movie 300. It was a deep canyon slicing into the mountain with a hidden exit that could be blocked off if we needed it to be. It also had access from two sides from the rear that we could easily be cover by us. This would channel them at an angle that we could control. The rise of the land into the mountain gave us a good grade. For humans, it would be too hard to fight from. But it added a small measure of respite for us.

_That's good. I scouted another spot further from home hoping to give us more time for families to leave in the event we were to lose. _I suggested. I showed him what I had seen.

_Our goals are to win and to have as much of La Push survive as possible in the event of a failure. The canyon wouldn't give La Push much time and we wouldn't be able to hold them off for long._ Sam huffed. We both knew right then that the further distance we fought was the better option. It had some advantages in battle but mostly gave survivors more time to get out. We mentally nodded trying not to dwell on this possibility.

_Can you work out the frontal attack options ready for me to look over? I've shown you my ideas but I want to explore all possibilities. The Cullen's have some ideas as well. We'll discuss them all. _Sam nodded. _And now for what I haven't shared with you yet. __For an evacuation Old Quil has decided that the families will be split into three parties between the elders. _It still hurt that we wouldn't be able to take the whole of La Push with us. Anyone anxious and willing to come with us without much in the way of an explanation, we'd happily take. _They're still planning who goes with who, but they have their routes set out. The meet up point will be in these foothills two weeks later. We need to make sure the surviving pack members do not meet up with the parties immediately and do not head directly to the meet up point. We don't want to lead blood suckers directly Sue has set up a supplies and tents for the travel and for the finish point. There is one log cabin and it will carry the heavier equipment to set up a winter camp. Billy is beginning work on a plan b camp. Bella is starting a club for local kids for orienteering. She's worried about them getting lost from groups. _We smiled. Leave it to Bella to turn it into a game for the kids.

_I'll work to get local teens interested. They would need to be able to find their way through unfamiliar terrain and younger kids will copy them and want to join in. I'll point out the toughness of the challenge. Shouldn't be too hard. _Sam volunteered. We continued to discuss plans as we felt our time drawing near. The air changed as someone phased.

_What the hell?_ A mind cried out in panic. We saw through the eyes of the person who just phased a woman and toddler in a yard staring up in shock. His wife and child we felt. _I have fucking paws! I exploded!_ He turned away from them, leaped over his fence and into the trees in panic and began running.

_Hold your horses! Slow down! We're coming! _A combination of the four us were thinking.

_Aggghhhh! There are mother fucking voices in my head! _He mentally screamed. He pushed his running harder and faster.

_What's your name? _I asked him recognizing where he was, me and Sam headed in his direction. Quil and Leah continued to patrol.

He paused running and cocked his head to one side confused by my question. _Robert. Robert Hurley. You're real aren't you?_

That was fast. He seemed to be coming back to himself already. I recognized him as the lawyer who lived near Quil. His office was in Forks. _Yeah, umm... you know the legends about the wolves? Tag, you're it. _I tried to say with humour. His mind was one big exclamation point. He began sifting through our minds and I offered up my memories to him.

_Slow down. Jacob is it? You're the leader? Can you start from the beginning? _He asked.

And so it began. Nineteen wolves, six more to go. This countdown was on. The Volturi couldn't be far behind the last of the twenty-five to phase.


	24. Chapter 24

**My Fabulous Disclaimer:** I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.

**Rage Against The Machine - Renegades Of Funk**

**Chapter 24**

AN: I have a little lemony goodness for you.**  
**

**BPOV**

We gathered at the beach on a rare warm and sunny June day. I laid out a picnic blanket and toys for EJ. I looked over the pack. Since Rob had joined, we had gained five new pack members. I was beginning to have difficulty keeping track of who was who. One short of a pack of twenty-five.

"Hey, that's my beef jerky!" Seth exclaimed. Brady cocked an eyebrow with a cheeky grin and began to run. Seth took chase. Soon they were both in the sea trying not to water log the jerky. They ended up splitting it even if they didn't come to an agreement.

The newer pack members were being kept further down the beach. Some weren't ready to hang out with us "fragile" humans. The new guys were fully grown men. And it seemed funny, but they were starting out below even Etu, Lenno and Barbie. I doubted they would stay there. In the age group of twenty-six to thirty-four, they each had family within La Push. Most had wives and children and took this much more seriously than the younger members had when they first phased. They gave me "looks". They didn't appreciate that I had brought the wrath of the Volturi down on their families. The more information the Cullen's gave us on the Volturi, their power and Edward and Alice and their power, the more apprehensive the pack grew. The difference between the middle aged wolves was that they phased when they were stressed. It seemed their bodies worked differently to teenaged boys and the elders. Or maybe Taha Aki was having to be more creative in his enlistment.

Many of the new members were disgruntled taking orders from teenagers. The week prior to phasing, they had all gone through incredible changes in their bodies. There was Robert Hurley, the lawyer with a wife and daughter. He phased discussing moving to Seattle with his wife. Dwayne Stevenson, the alienated father of two and divorced resident alcoholic who was having a difficult time no longer being able to get drunk. He phased at the liquor store when he could only buy a single case of beer when he wanted more. The stress must have been overwhelming. I rolled my eyes. He was so angry at life and at the pack. He just wanted to drink. He didn't have any interest in saving anyone. Jacob kept a strong leash on him. Kyle Brandon was a quiet fisherman with four children and a wife. He phased while budgeting. Andy Plante was a single man and a terminal cancer patient at home arguing with the insurance company when he phased. It would seem his cancer was cured. Andy had so much new life and enthusiasm for the pack. He was just so damn happy to be alive after fighting cancer for the last decade. And Martin Clearwater, living in Seattle as a journalist. He was single and childfree. The man had a lot of questions. He asked me endless questions about dating a vampire. He asked the first six members of the pack endless questions about what it was like.

I wasn't suprised when Martin approached me.

"Mind if I sit with you?" He asked curteously. I nodded munching on my sandwich.

We watched the pack overwhelm the beach planing football.

"I've noticed the pack, in their minds, they're all looking forward to fatherhood. Is that why you had Jacob's son so young?" Martin asked me. He didn't waste any time warming up the topic. My jaw fell and I stared at him.

"Is this an interview? Are you putting this in your story?" I stuttered.

"No, it's just-just things are changing with me. I look ten years younger, built like a tank and for the first time I'm noticing kids. Everywhere. And the pack seems to have a preoccupation with thinking about when they have kids. As though it's a given. And I'm feeling the same thing." He seemed at a loss for what he was experiencing.

"You phase into a wolf. You must realize you have more instincts now. Wolves _want_ to procreate. No ones making you do anything." I pointed out. I started battling with EJ as he fought me over eating sand. I started tickling his toes as a distraction.

"Are you scared?" Martin asked me.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"You don't look it."

"Are you scared?" I asked Martin.

"Yes." He smirked.

"You don't look it." I pointed out.

* * *

Days after the twenty-fifth wolf phased, we received notice from the Cullen's. They expected the Volturi to arrive in two weeks. We hoped that Luke would be trained and ready by then. Luke Bauer was a thirty-seven-year-old first Gulf War veteran. In some ways, his experiences were more disturbing because he was used to killing humans. But he hadn't used his mouth to do it. He quickly got along with Jasper. I watched Jacob, Sam, Jasper and Luke involved in lots of planning.

Our lives were consumed with planning and preparation. I ran orienteering games with older kids and teens with help from Quil. I was getting better at map reading and finding my way around at the same time. I helped Sue follow sueing patterns online to make wraps for the younger kids to be carried if need be. The list of preparations was endless. My dreams seemed to come to a sudden stop as the last seven wolves phased. My last message had been brief. Get ready.

But nothing could prepare us for the first encounter from the Volturi.

Jacob arrived through the door looking upset with Embry by his side. The pack arrived standing outside the door as there were well and truely too many of them to fit inside the Black home. I threw him questioning eyes but he shook his head. He looked out the door at his pack and stood.

"We need a meeting. Elders and pack alike. Bonfire on the cliff now." He said quietly but with authority. He seemed to have become more powerful as the group had grown. His voice carried more authority and I could have sworn that sometimes, I could sense his Alpha command in my own bones. He took EJ from me as I packed up his diaper bag and blankets.

We held hands as the three of us trekked up the long walk to the cliff. Most of the pack walked with us. We were all subdued. We knew something big had happened. We just didn't know what.

Barbie was humming and soon I harmonized with her. I didn't know the song. It was a lullabye and it wanted soothing. A smile played Jake's mouth and he leaned down to kiss the top of my head and then EJ's head. When we reached the clifftop, Jared and Daniel already had a bonfire started and were building up the flames. We filed into a gathering and waited patiently. I stood behind the group rocking EJ on my hip. When everyone had arrived and settled, Jacob began.

"We caught a scent near Tacoma today when we ventured off our land." He said referring to Embry with a gesture. "We tracked it to the mountains. We were confronted with Edward and a Volturi member by the name of Demetri. The tracker. They still don't have any idea how far our numbers have grown. The Cullen's have added temporarily to their numbers. We total fourty.

"After what we saw, we will need it. They dumped the bodies of Emily Young and Claire Young before us." Growls, tremors and threats were uttered. Leah cried into Sam's shoulder. "Edward demanded we hand over Bella or he would kill us and then massacre our families. They expect an answer by the same time a week from now. We won't wait the week. We will go early to control the battlefield. The elders are bringing in their bodies. If possible, please keep your loved ones within La Push." I was stunned. If I went back to Edward, this could be all taken care of right now. No one's lives would be at risk. I could leave EJ with Jacob.

I heard him continue talking but didn't register his words.

"She's the problem! Hand over the Teepee Creeper and we can all go home!" Dwayne raged. If I wasn't sure before he doesn't like me before, I was sure now. He definitely does _not_ like me.

Jake looked like he was about to explode. The long time pack members looked angry. The newer pack members looked like they were furiously trying to warn Dwayne that this was a bad idea to call out. I looked at EJ. Claire was just a baby. What if Edward came for EJ. I remembered the dream of EJ being murdered by Edward at the picnic in Devon. Before Jacob could explode as she shook and boiled over with rage, I spoke up.

"It is in an option that should be discussed Jake." I said trying to steady my voice and hide my fear. Jacob looked hurt. "I know it hurts, but look how many people have been dragged into my foolish teenage mistakes. How many will be hurt? How many will be killed? Over one woman?" Everyone was silent. I had said aloud what many of the newer pack members were thinking. I could hear the bonfire crackle and spark. The ocean pounded the cliffs below us. The wind rushed through the leaves in the trees. God if they were strong enough to hand me over to the protect the tribe, I would miss this so much. I would miss everyone so much. It would break my heart. But it would be worth it.

"He wouldn't keep up his end of the deal dear." Sue spoke up as she came from the woods. "Just like Joshua, he would not control his anger. He wants blood. He has been humiliated. He wants your blood and our blood. I hate to admit that the Elders did consider this some time ago. Based on my own experiences, it won't work out how you plan." She came to my side and rubbed my back. "Besides, who else is capable of making me lose my temper? We want you to stick around." She patted my back.

"SHE'S STAYING!" Jacob roared. He had finally found his words and calmed down his shaking. We were quiet.

The pack took his words to be final and began to file home.

* * *

Jacob watched EJ on the living room floor at home while I started dinner. I talked to him while I cooked. So what's happening with funeral for Emily and Claire? What I can do to help?" I asked him. He was silent. "It's really that bad huh?" I pushed. I couldn't see his face, but he wasn't moving. "Jacob, what are your thoughts on the wheels on the bus. Round and round or should it be spin spin spin? I think the song could be more creative." Still no reaction. "I'm having a martians baby. I was thinking of naming it Bubbles." I sighed and went back to cooking.

After dinner, I put EJ down to bed after Jacob gave him a bath. I decided Jacob could do with some relaxing. I slipped into a white lace negligee in the bathroom and covered myself up in my dressing gown to cross into our bedroom. Jacob lay tensely in the bed. I dropped my dressing gown and stalked up to the bed. His eyes bulged wide. Reaching the bed, I bent over giving him a view of my breasts and slowly pulled the sheets from the bed. He was laying to one side of the bed.

"Move." I ordered wickedly. He grinned and shuffled over to the center. I climbed up him dropping kisses on his legs and ran my hands over him, around the edges of his shorts. His hand raised up to hold my hips and I slapped it away playfully. I looked him in the eye giving my best sultry voice and feeling wanton.

"Naughty boy. Keep your hands to yourself." I scolded him.

"Yes Ma'am." Jacob grinned looking pleased with himself. I straddled him and began rocking against him gently teasing as I kissed his collarbone, along his neck and jaw and then kissing his ear making a point of sighing into his ear. Letting him hear the tingles I was feeling as I gently rode him. He looked as though he were struggling to hold still. I ran my fingers across his chest and circling his nipple. As I rocked he was hard against me, but I didn't fully grind against him. I kept gentle stroking against him teasingly.

I bent my head down and captured his mouth, kissing him as I held each of his hands down. I began to ride him harder and harder, moaning freely. I blushed realizing I sounded like one of the girls whimpering through a porn track. I let out my cry of release into his ear and sat back. I looked down at him with a wicked grin.

"Oh my word was that fun!" I said innocently with a giggle. He nodded smiling at me. I winked at him. "Goodnight." I dropped off of him and reached over and turned off the beside light. Then a curled against him waiting with a grin on my face waiting for what he would do next. He lay in silence for a moment. I said nothing and still waited.

Suddenly I was whipped over onto my back, my legs were in the air and Jake was grinding against me. "You... are evil..." I growled into my ear before kissing me senseless. I laughed loudly and slapped my hands over my mouth when I heard how loud I was. He pulled me further down the bed and held my hands above my head in one of his hands. He flashed me a grin and I fought fits of giggles when he hungrily kissed my up and down my neck like a starving man. "See if I trust you in bed again Madame." He tore off his boxer shorts and pushed inside of me. He waited a moment for my body to adjust and began rocking his hips as he pulled in and out of me. His free hand searched my silk cladden torso as though he were memorizing the shape and enjoying the texture.

He sat back and without breaking connection and pulled my hips back and forth against him. The position was delicious and I was panting. I couldn't see his face in the darkness but heard him grunting.

"Jaaake.." I whined as I felt myself building.

"Oh God Bells!" He pounded harder and harder. I reached my climax and cried out. His movements were harder still but less rhythmic. I felt his release come and we both relaxed against each other.

We recovered our breaths and I clung to him resting my head on his should and swung my leg over his waist. His breath blew on my heard, my hand explored his chest, he stroked my hair off of my neck.

"So, Bubbles is a good name?" I clarified.

"For what?" He asked me.

"The baby I'm having with the martian." I responded sleepily. He chuckled in his deep voice.

"Sure, sure. Sounds good Bells."

* * *

_I sat at a campfire with Taha Aki. But no men danced, no wolves prowled, no trees stood guard and the stars were missing. _

_"You've been quiet." I commented. _

_He didn't look at me. He carved wood in his hands. _

_"The pack are taking the threat seriously. They are doing all they can. There hasn't been anything to say." _

_I looked at the fire and waited. Smoke blew my way and blurred my vision. I coughed and turned my face away. The fire was very real, but there was nothing else but blackness surrounding me.  
_

_"You will see the beginning of the battle. But you _will not_ stay for the end." He spoke with authority._

_"Why not?" I asked. _

_"You would die." He said bluntly. _

_My stomach dropped. "I will die if I stay or I will just die?" I felt my mouth dry with fear. _

_"You will die if you stay." It was eery without the background and people. _

_"How long do I stay?" _

_"Until the pack begins to retreat. Win or lose, they will need to retreat at some point." I absorbed his news. It hurt. Retreat suggested that there would be casualties. I knew there would be, but this was someone else saying it aloud for the first time. Making it real.  
_

_"Is that everything?" I asked awkwardly. _

_"Jacob has made me proud. William has made me proud. The pack has made me proud. You have no relation to me, but you have made me proud to welcome you among my family. Do not sacrifice EJ's mother to the Cold One's."_

_

* * *

_AN: Next Chapter: The battle. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. _  
_


	25. Chapter 25

**My Fabulous Disclaimer:** I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.

**Noble Rogues - Liquid Soul  
**

**Chapter 25**

AN: I hope you like the battle. I felt the chaos was better seen from Bella's perspective. She is fed limited information but is in the thick of the action. She has a good perspective of what is happening and isn't fighting herself but watching the pack and the Cullen's fight. I think her attention would be more focused on the pack than the Cullen's and in this story she doesn't know the Volturi. From her perspective they are faceless vampires for the most part. Just to note, none of the three kings come to fight. Anyway, that's enough from me. Enjoy! **  
**

**BPOV**

My mind replayed entrusting EJ with Sue Clearwater on a loop. I was terrified. The sun was rising over the horizon of trees and mountains and we stood on a hillside below a mountain watching the tree line below us. Scouting the area carefully, we knew that the Volturi hadn't finished assembling yet. They were split in two groups and we were facing the first group. They were used to covens meeting up at agreed dates and times and locations. They didn't respect us and therefore didn't confer with us prior to setting up the meeting tomorrow. We wouldn't respect them enough in return to comply with their decision. Judging by their movements, they would be gathering at the following mountain range. Not that we planned on giving them that opportunity. The strangest part was that they walked. The patience required to travel the distance from Seattle walking we very unncecessary. But it would appear that they enjoyed their pageantry. We were using it to our advantage. We suspected that after so many centuries covens were so terrified of the Volturi that they didn't attempty to outwit them anymore.

Sue, Billy and Old Quil were back in La Push ready to gather people on a moments notice.

I stood the lonely human as twenty-five wolves and fifteen vampires stood on the ready. The first group we planned to attack had the biggest threat. Alec, a vampire who take down multiple threats at once. While Jane could only hurt one person at a time. Alice would appear to have not told her group or Alec that her future had disappeared. We had been hoping for that. She had torn loyalties. Anticipation buzzed through the pack, but they kept their focus. They were hunting from a distance with their eyes. The coven and their allies remained frozen, without the slightest movements. We had all said our best wishes.

Jacob nuzzled my hand and I rubbed his ear. At that moment I felt Taha Aki speak to me. _Run!_

"Run." I ordered Jacob. He looked me in the eye with surprise but took off. The pack was ready. They ran in formation as the Cullen's and their allies ran in their wake. I saw them clash at the treeline. I couldn't make out who was taken first, but I guessed it was Alec when the pack wasn't paralysed. I winced as I watched the pack and the Cullen's tag teaming the Volturi. It would appear approximately ten to fifteen Volturi, but many of them were greatly gifted and experienced. We had the element of surprise and larger numbers. It didn't take long for the fighting to magnetically pull back towards me. The Volturi recognized me as their major target. It was painful to watch but I refused to let my face tell my thoughts. I wanted any pack members who saw my face to draw strength and bravery from me. I was already the cause and the weakest link. I didn't need to their shaking damsel in distress.

Brady and Collin were like a couple of puppies, their fighting style seemed like a friendly game of tag as they dashed in and ripped off a piece of the vampire. They barked and jumped and leaped. Leah and Sam sent Leah in against the opponent to suddenly be confronted by a large and angry black wolf. Kyle and Andy worked methodically. Jacob and Seth were like watching a dance as they ran skillfully, snatching what they pleased and moving with grace and strength. The Cullens and their friends fought hand to hand. They held frightening expressions and truly looked the part of vampires in this moment. How had I taken so long to understand that they were the living dead? Still, I appreciated their help. Barbie seemed to hold back, near me. I assumed that she was frightened. I watched with baited breath as the pack fought.

"The pack's treachery is overwhelming." A beautiful spoke in a dry tone. I spun around and was met with the blackest eyes. My heart pounded in my chest and I immediately felt drawn into his gaze. He chuckled. "Don't fight me. See that over there? That's the other half joining in the fight. We'll defeat the "protectors" and soon you will be one of us. It will be easier to transport you still human._" _He explained this all to me as though I were a small child. His nose dipped down my neck sniffing me. His lips grazed my skin. It almost felt like a nuzzle from a wolf. I felt hunted.

The pack were being pushed back into a retreat. I remembered Taha Aki's words from the dream. It was time for me to leave.

I fought myself for my own thoughts and tore them away from his invasive presence. "I have to go." I said, backing away from me.

"Are you off to save _his _wretched child? I'll take care of this." He said and interrupted before he moved to leave.

My world spun hearing the direct threat against my son. I felt a surge of rage, hate and power rush through me directed at Edward Cullen. "Don't fucking touch him you monster!" I told him in a dark threatening voice that I didn't recognize. I barely sounded human. More demonic than anything.

I wasn't the only one surprised. Edward froze to the spot staring at me incredulously. I turned at ran. I didn't have a hope of getting anywhere in the next twenty-four hours running across the mountain range. But I did as I was told. I glanced behind me and saw Barbie looking rabid as she attacked Edward, he appeared shocked. She was mauling and throwing and destroying him in a fit of rage that didn't resemble the wolves that were fighting the rest of the Volturi. I doubted Edward could possibly foresee each move that she made, she was pure rage, instinct and disturbingly... animalistic joy. I almost stopped and stared but continued running for all I was worth. My son returned to the forefront of my mind. I didn't know how long I was running for or how many times I had fallen when I heard a voice in my head again.

_The second group have reached Sue. _

I came to a jolting stop. My heart was racing, tears bubbled up in my panic and I felt betrayal and loss already. I was ready to kill something in my bereavement. Some of the wolves had reached me. I sensed their concern for me and their joy for their accomplishment. I could feel that they had won the first battle.

"The second group has reached Sue." I told Jacob. He took off running without a signal. I didn't know what to think, so I continued to run alone. I didn't think. My heart felt a tiny pull of hope that the wolves might save Sue and her group waiting to the north end of La Push. No one would have taken their bags yet. We hadn't signalled. But they would be gathering or already gathered at this point.

I recognized Leah's small gray wolf approach me. She lowered herself to the ground indicating that I should climb on. I did as she asked and once I was situated, she ran at her inhuman speed. My body was filled with terror and dread. I had to see what was left of EJ. My beautiful EJ with only Sue to protect him the monsters of Volterra. I listened to Leah's steady breath as she ran. I couldn't make out individual sounds of the pads of her paws hitting the ground. She was too fast. It was like trying to listen to a humming birds wings flap.

Blurs of images ahead began to reach me. A battle was taking place in the forest and it was hard to see what was happening for all the trees torn from the ground being used as weapons. They were going to clear the cut the land at the rate the vampires and wolves were destroying the forest. I saw the bodies and hit Leah hard to let me down. She slowed to a stop and lowered me to the ground. Rebecca and two boys were slaughtered on the ground. I closed their eyes as Leah watched me. I nodded to her and we walked forward. As we approached the scene Leah suddenly crumbled in pain. I looked around and saw a beautiful pale girl staring at me. I assumed that she must be Jane. I prepared myself for pain. She smiled at me maliciously. I waited. And I waited. Until she roared in frustration. I stared at her.

"What are you?" She demanded. I thought carefully about what I was. Leah began to recover but Jane struck her a look again and Leah collapsed under pain. I knew that I could not defend myself against Jane.

"I am their dreamer and a mother and a fiancee." I smiled wanly. "More to the point, what are you?" I spat at her. I hoped to occupy her long enough that one of the wolves would catch her by surprise. Her sweet lips curled into a sneer as she crouched down ready to attack. Clearly my plan wasn't working out as I had hoped.

"I am the architect of your death-"

"You can't be. That would be Edward. You're just a fucking tool." I juxtaposed quickly. Vampires liked games. I would try to make this last longer. "I know that you are not in this position by your own design. You follow orders and before Edward came you didn't have a motive to come here at all. Hence you are not the creator of my death. You are the tool." I spoke slowly down to her.

She considered my thoughts when a black blur brought her to the ground. I almost collapsed in relief. If EJ has survived, he would want his mother in one piece. I watch Leah, Paul and Sam tag team Jane as she strike's with physical and imagined pain. Soon she was brought down in this co-ordinated effort. I saw bloody wounds spotting my wolves and my heart cried for them. The fighting slowed and soon I sensed the battle was over.

Jacob approached with a bundle in his arms. He looked tired. My body trembled and I fell to the ground unable to read him.

"Jaco-" My voice broke in a sob of fear and panic. Why was he carrying a bundle? Where was my happy babbling baby boy?

Jacob brought a finger to his lips and gave me a tired smile. He mouthed the words to me over the quiet battle scene filled with wails and blood and smoke. _Nap time._ I broke down bawling my eyes out. EJ was okay. Nothing had happened to him. My baby was okay. He had been approached by the Volturi and survived. They had underestimated us.

When Jacob reached me he handed EJ off to me and held me in his arms kissing the top of my head. "Barbie is crazy." He commented. I looked up at him. "She was fighting me internally during the fight to check on Sue. Her instincts were screeching at her. She thought her little brother was going to get her and EJ. I finally sent Robert, Dwayne and Seth. You confirmed what Barbie had been saying just before they found the Jane with her guards torturing Sue in human form. We lost four people, all human." I felt guilty that I was just so happy that they weren't Jacob or EJ. My two men were okay.

I looked over Jacob and the rest. They were filthy, bloody, bruised and exhausted.

"You need showers and food." I said firmly. I made my way home to the Black house. We looked like a gathering of refugee's heading back down the road into La Push. Billy ran to Sue pulling her form into his arms and walking with her. I sensed something new growing between the two of them. It seemed like new people given they looked so different and were acting differently to what I was used to. We reached the Black house and EJ woke up from his nap.

I was busy cooking as people showered at different houses and occupied EJ. Jacob was busy delegating cleaning up after the battle. Alice survived and let us know that the Volturi had their backs broken this day. They hadn't expected such a showing and had sent many of their best today but not without full back up. She doubted there would be a repeated effort against us.

The day stretched late into the night until I felt Jacob laying me down in our bed. I curled into him, grateful for our lives. We had survived and with few casualties even if they were painful. Jacob had lost his sister home from college. We didn't talk to each other. He just held me tightly in his strong arms all night.

* * *

Two years had passed since the battle. We watched as the happy couple shared vowels. I reflected on all that had changed over the past two years.

Only five of the wolves had chosen to stop phasing surprisingly, after the Council had asked that three wolves continue to phase at all times.

Dwayne, the resident alcoholic was eager to be able to get drunk again. His duty done and he was trying his best to stop phasing even though he was having great difficulty.

Leah and Sam had stopped phasing and were eager to start a family. Although, they were realizing just how hard it was to stop phasing.

Sue had been quick to stop phasing and had little diffculty achieving it. Billy wanted to stop phasing but was finding it more difficult. The happy couple stood at the front of the church today sharing their vowels. I gave up standing any longer through the vowels. I had held out on another child. I was so happy with EJ and being an only child, I wasn't prepared for a large family. Yet here I was pregnant with twin girls. It would seem anti-biotics dimished the effectiveness of birth control. Every woman I had talked to seemed to know that. I rolled my eyes at being within the minority that hadn't known. Jacob was so happy with the pregnancy. He was sorry that again, it wasn't planned and honestly it wasn't what I would have chosen. But his excitement flowed over me and I was growing to be as happy and excited to meet my girls as he was. The pack were thrilled. Many of the wolves had settled down and were having children. La Push was essentially turning into something between a love den and a nursery with the amount of sex taking place behind closed doors and babies being born each year. The wolves had made for quite the population boom. My aching hips and feet couldn't take standing through the rest of the ceremony. I took a seat in a perfunctory manner. They would have to forgive me. I saw Jacob throw me a cocky grin standing as best man, Charlie at his side.

No one was sure how to respond to the budding romance between Old Quil and Barbie. The age difference was staggering. She had matured greatly since the battle and was now seventeen years old. In Quil's mind, she was so much of his first wife but stronger and funnier while less demure. She seemed to be a healing presence in his mind according to Leah, so we didn't interject. She was so happy with the young looking Old Quil, that far be it from us to intervene. Still, he had to contend with two brothers who were insistent that the relationship not get physical until she was at least thirty years old.

I looked at cheery little EJ dressed in his suit and tie holding the pillow as ring bearer by the ribbon as it dangled at his side. He looked around looking very serious about his job. He looked so much like his father, only his laughing eyes held more of my own confusion. I held back a laugh. I enjoyed his childhood but was excited to see the man that he would grow into.

I saw the pack in amongst the crowd with wives, girlfriends, pregnant partners and children. The older wolves, new to the pack had been helpful taking younger wolves under their wing in the human world helping them figure out how to attain qualifications to find work. Maybe this generation of wolves wouldn't live out their lives in poverty. There was hope.

I was studying to become an accountant so that I could work from home. Jacob had gotten funding to help him open a garage with Sam. The new business was going well and I was helping with their books. Leah had taken interest in massage therapy and was studying it. The pack didn't want her to stop phasing as she was the only person capable of massaging them hard enough to relax their tense back muscles. When she did stop phasing, there would be a pack of wolves who would be greatly disappointed.

The ceremony finished and blew soap bubbles at the happy couple as they walked down the aisle. I stood with Jacob watching from afar. He carressed my large round belly adoringly.

"Are you ready?" Jacob breathed in my ear referring to the photographers. He wasn't allowed to mess up my make-up until the photographers were done with the wedding party.

I shuddered at the sound of his voice breathing on my ear. "Yes." I answered. Although it was breathless and suggested something more than posing for pictures.

The End


End file.
